Safe here
by Moonpath-wolf
Summary: How does a child survive on the streets, you can only steal so much, what do you do when you starve. The Ghost crew gets a small look into Ezra's past. (Ezra centric fic with several chapters now, Follows season 1 and 2)
1. Safe here

Being back on Lothal bought back both unpleasant and pleasant memories for Ezra.

Memories of being held in the arms of his parents, his mothers cooking, his fathers patient hands as he taught Ezra letters, his mothers quick mind as he taught him basic math. His fathers warm laugh and his mother tender smile. Riding his fathers shoulders as they picked up groceries. His mother scaring away the monsters under his bed because that's what mothers do. They scare away the monsters because they are stronger then the monster.

Or that's what a child tells themselves.

Until its not true.

The sight of the Imperial troopers dragging his parents out of the house, of being alone for days after running to the tower as he was told to do by his parents, hunger driving him back to the city where he was ignored by everyone who had ever known his parents, the marking showing his home of limit. Even a seven year old could understand the implications.

Alone, hungry, scavenging supplies where he could, anything he could to eat. Not stealing at first but eventually doing that and other things, this Ezra would never be proud of, to survive. Just to survive as best he could. Relying on his 'luck' to help him.

Just another Loth-rat running the streets.

"Ezra, we need to get going. Hera wants us to pick up supplies before dark." Kanan patted him on the shoulder, smiling at his young padawan while Zeb grumbled, the Lasat squinting against the horizon. "Looks like a sand storm incoming, we might wanna make it quick or stay in the ship for the night." He grumbled before making his towards the speeders, knowing that they actually did need the supplies.

"I hope they have the paint I want here." Sabine said cheerfully. She had some good plans for them, some for her own art and some for the Rebels plans.

"If you drop Lurag's they should have paint supplies." Ezra supplied helpfully, shrugging a bit. "If she's still running that is, not exactly easy with Imperial troops all around you know." He grimaced a bit.

The Mandalorien hummed in agreement before getting on her bike. "Think you can show me where Lurag is? Don't think I've seen it before."

"Its a small shop really. I only found it because I ran a few packages for people back in the days." Ezra shrugged. "So sure, I can show you where in Capital City to go." He gave a boyish grin to the young woman.

"If you're going there, we're all coming." Kanan said seriously. "Our mugs are becoming pretty famous around here and its not always safe, Force know you two find enough trouble on your own." He snorted at the youths who just grinned. "And that includes you Zeb, don't think I don't remember what you did last time we were here."

Zeb just sniggered. "Stormtroopers had it coming."

Kanan gave a good natured eye roll before they all started for the town.

While they had counted on the storm coming, they hadn't counted on it coming as fast as it had. Apparently not a lot of people had considering the tavern the Ghost crew had found refugee in was almost full from the amount of people packed inside it.

They were lucky to find a table to sit at all considering it all.

"I'll get us something to drink." The Lasat grumbled and went to the bar. Kanan sighed and looked at the other two. "I'll try and send Hera a communication though with the storm I doubt she'll hear it."

"If you don't try at least, she'll have your head." Sabine teased him, settling comfortably beside Ezra, patting her friend on the shoulder.

The blue eyed lad laughed and nodded in agreement while the Jedi rolled his eyes at their amusement. "Yeah, yeah, I'll be right back too."

The two teens looked at each other and settled to wait.

Only it wasn't their crew mates who found them first.

It was Ezra's past.

Someone slumped down beside the boy, slinging a arm around thin shoulders. "Ezra Bridger, as I live and breath, didn't think I'd see you around." A voice drawled to close to the boys ear. A voice that was to familiar to the blue eyed teenager.

His whole body tensed like a rod and he prayed he was wrong, giving the confused Sabine a quick glance before looking to the other side, his jaw tensing as he stared at the man.

A grinning brunette with a goatee and blue eyes. Carl Yointa. Karabast.

"You don't call, you don't write, starting to think you won't do business anymore." The man leered at Ezra who quickly shrugged the arm of his shoulders at the mans words. "I'm not in that business anymore." He added hurriedly, hoping the man got the hint and leave him the frick alone.

He didn't and Ezra felt his blood turn to ice in his veins as the man's larger hand dropped to his thigh, holding tightly, squeezing ever so lightly. "Come on Ezra, I treated you well and I paid well did-"

Sabine's blaster was put to the man's nose, her face furious. "He told you he wasn't in that business anymore. Get lost." She hissed quietly, so close to pulling the trigger, her blaster ignored by the crowd as none wanted to get involved unless they had to in this crowd.

Yointa held up his hands in surrender, getting up and almost running smack into Zeb's chest as the Lasat stood there with a tray in one hand full of glass and his other hand clenched around the top of his bo-rifle in.

"Sorry." He raced around the tall alien and into the crowd, leaving Ezra frozen with his friends looking at him.

Sabine might have been sworn to secrecy, Sabine he might have been able to laugh it of in some way. But with the way Zeb was looking at him, he knew exactly what had just happened and what Yointa had wanted from Ezra.

"Kid..."

"Not here. Not now." Ezra said quickly, rubbing his thigh as if to get away unpleasant grime and dirt. 'Not ever if I can help it.' He licked his lips then gestured to the tray, trying not to meet anyone's eyes. "That for us?"

"...Yeah, yeah." He set it down and let Ezra avoid the conversation for now, the teenager taking a glass of water quickly and sipping, his whole body a tense wire ready to snap, his free arm wrapped around himself.

If Zeb and Sabine sat a bit closer then normal he wasn't about to mention it. If Sabine was pointedly resting her blasters on the table while sipping her water, he wasn't about to say anything. And he certainly wasn't about to say anything about the way Zeb was growling protectively under his breath.

That was how Kanan found them moments later, the Lasat looking like he wanted to murder something, Sabine not looking far of with her blasters kept in view and Ezra doing everything he could to not look at anyone else, fiddling with his almost empty glass.

"What did I miss?" He sat down.

Zeb grunted and sat up a bit but not moving any further away from Ezra. "Had a visit to the table. Old...acquaintance of the kid." The blue eyed human flinched.

The Lasat instantly sat back, bumping his shoulder with Ezra in a friendly move.

"Acquaintance?" Kanan parroted.

Sabine lips thinned and then she nodded towards the bar, Kanan following her gaze to it to stare at a brunette talking angerly with some others before he looked straight at Ezra. The look the man sent the teenager...

It sent chills and anger down Kanan's spine and he quickly scooted to block the blue haired boy out of view, giving the man a dark glare until he turned away to his friends. "...We head back to the Ghost the moment the storm lifts." The Jedi finally said, his voice brokering no arguments.

Not that any were issued. Only tense nods.

Despite the ruckus in the tavern from many others, the Ghost crew were almost eerily quiet.

Ezra couldn't stop playing with his now empty glass, wanting to say or do something, anything that eased the tenseness he could feel. It was so...

He took a shuddering breath and almost jumped as Sabine slid a arm around his shoulders and squeezed lightly the Mandelorian giving him a small smile. Ezra stared at her before trying to smile back but ending up with a grimace before he ducked his head quickly.

Most of the time, Ezra had managed to get by with stealing or running packages for the locals. Sometimes though, when he didn't have money he'd resort to...

He swallowed. He rather hoped this was forgotten by the time they reached the Ghost.

It wasn't.

Not by a long shot and not by any of the three.

All Ezra had wanted was to sneak of to his and Zeb's room and forget any of it had happened but Kanan placed a firm hand on the youngest crew member shoulder and guided his padawan to the briefing room, firmly making Ezra sit down on the couch despite the protests.

He bit down on his protests as Kanan waved the others away to their quarters before sitting down beside Ezra. Both the Lasat and Mandelorian looked reluctant but left, leaving master and student together.

Kanan waited until they were gone and the doors closed before sitting down, looking at Ezra who was avoiding looking at Kanan in return. "You know, I' kind of thirsty, I think I'll jus-"

"Ezra." Kanan took the others hands by the wrist, preventing him from leaving.

Whatever the teen had been about to say was cut of by the Jedi's next words. "I'm sorry."

"What?" Electric blue eyes focused on green eyes, confused and a bit worried.

"I'm sorry Ezra. For never thinking how you survived. I assumed that you managed to steal enough to survive." Kanan murmured. "I didn't think you needed anything else."

"I don't...I..." The youth swallowed.

"I'm sorry we weren't there. I'm sorry I wasn't there Ezra." Kanan squeezed the others hands carefully. "I'm sorry the Empire took your parents and I'm sorry no one was there for you. I'm sorry no one in the Rebellion thought to look after you."

"..." Ezra trembled a bit.

"Your parents spoke out for hope, for freedom and they got taken. Someone should have been there for you. Someone should have listened..." Kanan moved his hands slowly, taking Ezra by the shoulders and pulling him closer, hugging him. "And I'm sorry no one did."

Ezra struggled against the tears. He had been alone a long time. "...Why should they have? No one on Lothal did...and they knew my parents."

"They were scared, but they could have sent message to the Rebellion, perhaps not immediately no but a year later? Two? Someone should have cared. The Rebellion would have taken you in, would have made sure you were safe, feed, warm." Kanan rubbed a slender back slowly.

"...I'm here aren't I?" Ezra got out, pressing his face into Kana's chest. "I'm safe here."

Kanan blinked then smiled ever so slightly, squeezing the other against him. "You are."


	2. The Scars we carry

"You don't think we're just gonna let you walk out of here with it without one of you proving you are not Imperial agents do you?" The Toydarian drug peddler snorted, staring at them with his men holding onto their guns with smirks on their faces. "If you do, you're stupider then the usual Vizago sends."

Kanan crossed his arms over his chest. "If you're suggesting we're testing one of those, you're more crazy then reputation suggests." He said sternly, glaring a bit. Of all the jobs the Ghost crew accepted, this was one of the ones they hated the most, which would be why Vizago hadn't specified what would be in the crates they were being asked to fetch.

Death stick.

Drugs.

If Kanan or Hera had known they would have refused the mission. Now that they were already there it was to late. They didn't do drug smuggles if they could help it.

"Ah well then we won't be making any deals today and you can explain to Vizago why the crates stay here."

"Oh for Force sake." Ezra grumbled, moving around Zeb and grabbing one of luminescent sticks from a open crate. "Ezra don't!" Before the others could stop him Ezra had popped the lid and stuck half the tub down his mouth, letting the liquid glide past his tongue and down his throat as he tipped his head back.

Pulling the empty stick out he glared at the drug peddler, throwing the empty in front of him. "There, happy?"

The Toydarian smirked. "Someone has experience. Fine, the crates go with you." He nodded to his men who got of the crates so Zeb and Sabine could fetch the trolly with them. "Pleasure doing business with ya." He laughed.

Kanan grabbed his padawan by the shoulders in the meantime. "Ezra! Go on the ship now. Medbay."

"I'm fine, it won't kick in for a few more minutes." He tried to wave it of only for Kanan to give him a slight shake. "Ship, medbay, NOW." The older man said in uncompromising tone.

"Geeze, fine." Ezra huffed, wrapping his arms around himself while moving towards the Ghost ramp, grumbling a bit.

()()()()()

"What do you mean he swallowed a whole death stick?" Hera asked sharply, letting Chopper take autopilot as she hurried out of the cockpit and towards the medbay, talking with Kanan over the coms.

"Just what I said. Peddler wasn't about to let us go without one of us doing it and Ezra...ah, that kid is gonna be the death of me." Kanan growled angerly. He was more then tempted to throw the crates out the airlock and skewer Vizago with his lightsaber.

"Did he throw any of it up yet? First timers usually can't handle whole tubes." Hera asked concernedly. That froze Kanan in his tracks, staring down the hall as Sabine almost crashed into his back. "Kanan?"

"...First timers don't know how to swallow a whole tube at once either without letting it touch the tongue Hera. Ezra knew how to swallow that thing. Its not his first time." Kanan finally said, not seeing the Lasat behind him as Zeb's ears twitched at the revelation.

"Ezra's done this before?" Sabine asked, sounding for all her armor and battle prowess like the sixteen year old she was.

"Yes." Kanan moved again, his long steps taking him to the medbay before anyone could say more, the door opening with a hiss.

Ezra gave a meeping noise and fell of the medbad he'd been sitting on landing on his rear as he blinked up at Kanan, his pupils dilated to a point where the blue of the teens eyes were hard to spot. "Uh..."

"Ezra." Kanan gave a quiet curse and knelt down in front of him. "You have no idea how much I want to yell at you right now. But I don't think you'll remember it if I do." The teens shoulders hunched a bit.

"I'm 'orry?" He slurred, sounding so very young to everyone there. The jedi sighed then shifted until he could sit beside him, wrapping his arm around his padawan instead. "I'm not going to say its fine kid, Death sticks are dangerous, it shortens your life span, it takes chunks out of it and your life is worth so much more then that."

"Done it before. Hadda eat somehow. Blankies aren't cheap." Ezra slurred, the drugs lowering his defenses as he snuggled against Kanan's side. "Drug testies paid well..." He closed his eyes.

"..." Kanan looked to the medbay doors where the rest of the crew was. "One of you get me a blanket...and some water." Kanan finally settled, Sabine nodding and quickly leaving. Hera stepped in and sat on the other side of Ezra, the human opening his eyes to look at her in surprise, making a little questioning noise before closing them as she started petting his hair instead.

He leaned into the touch almost greedily, all defenses lowered as Kanan carefully wrapped the blanket around him and settled with his arm around the youth, Hera gently running her fingers through his dark hair.

In those hazy moments, Ezra could almost believe that the last eight years had been a hallucination, that his parents had never been taken from him, that they weren't gone and he was right there, between them.

"He's so spacy I don't think he realizes where he even is." A growly voice said over his head.

"You might be right." A voice to his left sighed out. "Zeb, can you help me get him out of his coveralls in a bit? Once we coaxed some water into him that is when Sabine returns."

"Yeah sure. Why though?"

"Change him into something more comfortable so he can sleep as long as he needs."

Something tugged in Ezra's consciousness, telling him that he didn't want them to undress him but for the life of him he couldn't quite grasp why. Why was that important right now?

"Ezra?" A careful hand shook him and he blinked hazy blue eyes open, staring at a glass of water behind held in front of him by a gloved hand. The hand in his hair stopped stroking and Ezra let a small whine escape his throat.

He was thirsty actually. He shakily took the glass, making a discontented noise as a pair of tanned hands covered his, helping him hold it. Ezra tried dragging his hands out of them, he was fully able to drink from a glass of water.

"Kid, look, just drink and accept the help."

Ezra huffed but listened to the voice, slowly drinking the entire contents of the glass before it was taken away by the same hands as before. Beeping made Ezra blink towards the door, looking at the hazy colored shapes he vaguely recognized.

"No Chopper, I don't think zapping him will help at ALL. Don't do it." A stern female voice said to his right and Ezra looked towards it, blinking. "...Hera?" The female Twi'lek focused on him and gave a soft smile if also worried. "Try to sleep Ezra."

Blinking, he flopped his head on her shoulder, feeling a broad hand slowly rub his back and shoulders in a pattern, a smaller hand going stroking his hair. It sent Ezra into the arms of sleep in a way he hadn't for years.

()()()()()()

"I think he's all out for now. Alright Zeb, give me a hand here." Kanan sighed, shifting a bit to pull the blanket of Ezra's light form, regretting it a bit as the teen shivered. Sabine left for her own room so not to invade Ezra's privacy to much, Hera would be doing that too once Zeb was supporting the teen instead of her. She went to fetch spare comfortable clothes for Ezra instead. She was sure Kanan wouldn't mind loaning his padawan a t-shirt and she was sure Ezra had some comfortable soft pants.

Once Zeb had him Kanan shifted to the front, getting the vest Ezra wore of first then he unzipped the coverall and carefully working one arm out first.

Even half undressed Kanan could see the scars. A life on the street was never easy but he hadn't expected this. Some of these he recognized as someone living on the street getting but others he could tell were of a different sort, one of them were caused by a viroblade he was sure or another smooth sharp blade, a star burst scar on his upper shoulder was a blaster wound, some were small and round in one clustered spot by Ezra's ribcage and Kanan hoped he was wrong in thinking they were caused by a cigaret.

There was a perfectly diagonal scar that was to neat to have been made by anything but a scalpel near Ezra's navel. Small syringe scars littered up and down Ezra's arm. Some were perfectly pale and old. Others were pink and made in the year they had meet the young man. And some had a awful purple view to it that told of old infection or being wrongly treated.

"...Karabast." Zeb growled as Kanan got Ezra's other arm out, leaving the teen shirtless.

"Not now Zeb."

"Mate you can't-"

"I can for now. Right now Ezra isn't awake to answer and I get the feeling if he knew we were undressing him, he'd be putting up a fight." The Jedi said seriously, letting the coverall pool around the teens slender waist as he wrapped the blanket around him again while they waited for the spare clothes.

"But he's covered in scars."

"I know. We will talk to him about them. But not now, not while he's doped up on death stick." Kanan gave Zeb a long look. The Lasat ears twitched hard before he grumbled and nodded. "Yer right, yer right...Karabast."

He wrapped his large furry arm around Ezra blanket covered form, holding protectively around him. For all the annoyance Ezra caused, Zeb couldn't imagine the Ghost without the young padawan running around.

Kanan let out a deep sigh and got up when there was a soft knock, getting spare clothes from Hera and not minding that one of those were his t-shirt. "You okay?" Hera stared at Kanan, the jedi glancing back at Ezra and shaking his head.

"Not really. He's covered in scars. Didn't think he'd be this covered in scars."

Hera looked between the two grim looking men and bit her lips. "...Look after him, we can talk about this with him later." She stepped away so they could dress him in peace.

The human returned to the teen and knelt down, removing the blanket to slide the soft worn t-shirt onto him, smiling a bit at how small Ezra looked in his t-shirt.

"...I forget how young he is sometimes."

Kanan looked at Zeb at that, the others green eyes focused on Ezra. "He's barely fourteen. He should be in school really not...here." He grumbled.

"But he is. He is here. If you want to blame anyone..."

"Blame the empire." Zeb finished for the Jedi, grumbling and nodding.

Kanan nodded and got the rest of the coverall of Ezra, finding more scars along Ezra's feet, legs and thighs before he was covered up by the pants. "Carry him to your room? You best put him on the bottom bunk in case he falls out of the bed." Kanan sighed.

Zeb didn't complain about that as he slowly stood with the teen in his arms, nodding. "Course. Rather not end up with the kid more bruised then he usually gets."

"You mean like he must get every mission?" Kanan offered dryly, following as Zeb started climbing the ladder to get to their cabin. "Like all of us get, I swear if I get caught in one of Sabine's blast waves again, I'm gonna..." The Lasat let that trail of.

Kanan snorted softly, smiling ever so softly before glancing at Ezra's slack face. '...No, if we can help it, lets not have him more bruised.'

* * *

Author note:Oh wow you won't believe the overwhelming amount of response I had to this fic. Because of all the reviews and everything I managed to crank out another part. This is a two chapter one and I am working on the second one as I write this. I'm so happy everyone loved this so much! Thank you all.

 **PS!: A very kind soul updated me that my story was very VERY similiar to another persons. I have to say, that's a coincidence. Death stick was the only drug I could find on the wookipedia that was canon enough for me to look up information. That said, I urge you all to go look up Space Opera Singer's story 'Stray' if you liked mine. I'm certain you will enjoy theirs and I will be going to read it myself.**


	3. The scars we carry (part 2)

His mouth felt it had been filled with sand, but not as bad as it usually felt after he had been testing death sticks. That much Ezra knew.

For a moment he was confused. He was laying comfortably, he had a blanket over him, someone had obviously managed to get a bit of water into him and he was laying somewhere safe. This wasn't the usual state a drug tester found themselves in.

And then it came back. He hadn't been testing drugs for anyone. The drug peddler, Ghost crew, Kanan yelling at him and...and soft hands in his hair, blanket around his shoulders, water being given him.

The padawan sat up slowly, feeling muddled, the force around him fluctuating and pulsing as he came more to himself, the blanket sliding down of him as he looked around.

He was in his and Zeb's cabin, on the bottom bunk of all things. Then he grew alarmed, his clothes had been changed. Ezra grasped the blanket tightly around himself, looking around in horror as he did. Where was his clothes, had Kanan changed him? Had anyone seen?

Slowly, on unsteady feet Ezra got up, looking around before sliding his feet into his boots and making his way to the door, intent on finding his clothes and covering up before...before...

He shivered and looked around, biting his lips before making his way to the crew lounge, the Force directing him towards where he could feel Kanan. The bond between teacher and padawan weren't to deep yet, but he could tell where Kanan was on the ship at least.

He hadn't expected to find the whole Ghost crew minus Hera there. Chopping beeped something when Ezra came over and the teen held the blanket more tightly around himself, slapping on a half smile. "So, that was a interesting mission. Someone care to fill me in on where my clothes are?" He tried nonchalantly despite the steel grip he had on the blanket to keep it around himself.

"In the wash. They really needed it." Sabine offered, eyes on Ezra.

It caused the teens shoulders to tense before he looked at Kanan, struggling to retain his expression. "Oh well I'd like them bac-"

"Ezra, sit down." Kanan said quietly, gesturing the seat between himself Zeb.

'They know. They know.' Ezra tensed fully, standing a bit straighter. "I, uh, I think I just want to get some water and return to my bu-"

"Kid, you aren't leaving until we talk." Zeb stared at him. Not pityingly, not angerly, but with a odd worried but compassionate look in his eyes.

Where could a teenager run on a ship like the Ghost. Well out the airlock but Ezra hadn't spent this long surviving only to space himself. So he did the only other thing he could think of. Get angry.

"And if I don't want to?" He snapped, holding the blanket as if it could protect him.

And then a callused arm wrapped around his fabric covered elbow, the person sending soothing waves through the Force as blue and green eyes meet. "Ezra...sit." Kanan murmured, carefully guiding the teen down beside him. "You're thirsty right? Sabine, get some juice from the galley since you're closest."

The Mandelorian got up without a complaint and fetched a jug of it. Ezra really did look parched and the vitamins would do him some good, she was sure of that. She knew when you were hungover, vitamins and fluids were the best cure and she was sure the same was true after ingesting a whole death stick.

"Chopper, would you inform Hera that Ezra is awake?" The Jedi asked, receiving a few rude beeps before the astromech started rolling away.

"...Is this really necessary?" Ezra finally asked after a few seconds, staring at the pitcher of juice and the glass, itching to grab it and fill it but unwilling to leave the blanket of for even a few moments. Kanan, taking pity on his padawan, reached out and filled the glass, bringing it over to Ezra.

"Yes, now here, drink." He held the glass out to him, letting Ezra take it from him without more then a hand leaving the comfort of the blanket.

The teen drank slowly, focused on that task while the keeping his blanket shield tight so it wouldn't slip of him. It was quiet until they felt a slight jerk, signaling that Hera had landed them somewhere and soon she and Chopper were coming to see them.

Hera sat down on the other side of Ezra, smiling slightly at him before reaching out and touching his face, examining it and ignoring how tense Ezra was at the light touch. "Good, your pupils aren't dilated anymore and your coherent." She pulled her hand back.

"I'm fine..." Ezra muttered, drinking more from his juice.

"You see, you say that but...I don't think you've been fine in a long time Ezra."

Ezra didn't answer, drinking more juice.

"Kid...Ezra." Zeb sighed, leaning forward, peering at the youngest crew member. "After the fall of Lasat, after joining the Ghost...don't you think Hera and Kanan made me talk?" He prodded gently, smiling grimly when Ezra gave him a quick look.

"Hera wouldn't let me get away with hiding for long." Kanan offered up beside him. "She made me talk about...well the whole of the Jedi order being eradicated. Living my life in hiding."

Sabine smiled at him when Ezra glanced at her. "I got left for dead, my friend betrayed me and my family splintered because of the Empire. Yes they had me talking to. I told you that first day, we're a family. And we want to be your family too. That means this too."

"...I don't think Chopper wants to be family, I think he wants to zap us all." Ezra offered.

"Chopper!" Hera shouted over the rudeness the astromec was spewing, Zeb sniggering. "Kid's not wrong Hera, that mec likes zapping us to much."

Kanan snorted and slowly wound a arm around Ezra's shoulders so not to startle him.

"Getting back on track." He said louder, silencing them. "What we mean Ezra is...talking about the past is good for you. To help. To get help when its needed."

Ezra looked away, studying the glass. "...I don't need it. I'm not weak. I'm not helpless." He got out.

"We're not saying you are kid." Zeb leaned forward and placed a strong furry hand on each of the padawan's knees, making him look up. "If you were weak Ezra, you wouldn't be here." Serious green eyes peered into sapphire blue, never looking away before Zeb slowly leaned back. "Sometimes you need a shoulder to lean on, I certainly needed my fair share."

"Yeah, the flea beast has." Sabine punched the man playfully in the shoulder. "...But then again so have I. We all have Ezra." She looked to him, smiling earnestly.

Ezra swallowed, squeezing the glass before he slowly shifted the blanket and Kanan's arm of him, reaching for the pitcher and refilling it with juice. Hera barely kept her gasp in as she got a look at the teen bare arms.

He sat back slowly and glanced at them. "...Alright...but I get to go back to my bunk if I want to." Ezra finally settled on, sliding his arm protectively around his own stomach while holding his glass tightly with the other.

Kanan nodded before gesturing to Ezra's arms. "Death sticks not the only one you've tested is it?" He started of gently, watching Ezra closely as he shook his head. "No...it paid well and...I didn't always have the strength to steal...so I traded I guess, I checked the merchandises and they knew it was proper stock you know."

"Didn't it bother you that it could go wrong?" Sabine stared at him.

"...Course it did. Did a few times. One time Stormtroopers interrupted the trade, I wasn't quick enough to hide." Ezra shifted, rubbing the star burst scar on his shoulder Kanan had seen. "I got shot by... I don't know, could have been any of the sides really. I managed to crawl into a vent though after a while and stayed there."

"Ezra..." Kanan prodded gently.

"...Okay I passed out in it." Ezra grumbled a bit. "I was high and hurting at the same time."

"How old?"

"Nine I guess." Ezra shrugged and then drank more juice.

"Did you do drug testing often?" Zeb covered the silence quickly and almost sighed in relief when Ezra shook his head. "No. Just when I needed money for things I couldn't steal or I was to weak to steal."

"Things you couldn't steal?"

"Goods to heavy to steal, medicine, services that I couldn't do myself, things that were kept locked up you know." Ezra shifted a bit.

"...You had to do drug testings to get medicine?" Hera couldn't keep the pain out of her voice as she hugged the teenager tightly to him.

Ezra tensed and squirmed. "I...I got sick sometimes." He muttered.

"Oh Ezra." She held him tight.

Kanan took a deep calming breath through his nose, calling up on his training to remain calm and not scare Ezra though from the way Ezra was glancing at him under the mop of dark hair, he could feel his teacher through the Force.

"The scar on your abdomen Ezra, you had one that was...very clean." He managed to settle on, watching the way the arm tightened around his stomach.

"I..." Ezra started haltingly. They were going to know eventually. "...I sold a kidney?" He managed weakly, flinching as Hera tensed with her arms around him, the Twi'lek staring at him with shock before looking at Kanan.

"You... You sold a kidney?" Sabine repeated, eyes wide.

Ezra shrugged awkwardly, yelping in surprise as Zeb slammed his fist into the table, huddling back into the firm seat behind him. "Tell me who bought it and I'll go hunt down the sonofa-"

"Zeb." Kanan said and for a moment Ezra thought he had a voice of reason only to twitch at the raw anger on Kanan's face, the man wasn't far of letting Zeb do that. "Ezra...when and why?" He asked instead.

Ezra really didn't want to answer that but it was obvious even if he called a out he wouldn't get it right now. "...The Tower got...freezing. None of the heating worked and I was running low. None of the traders that...that accepted favors were around and the locals...never...I mean..." He licked his lips nervously.

"...I went to one of the gangs. Seeing if they had a job or something. They didn't but...I..."

"They had need of a kidney and your blood type matched..." Sabine finished for him.

He gave a short nod. "They offered me a lot of credits for it. Told them...told them they paid me first, let me stash it, buy the repair service the tower needed and then I'd give it to them." He gave a half smile, trying to lighten the mood. It didn't work.

"And then?" Hera asked quietly.

"...They had a droid. It knew what to do. They gave me some drugs and let the droid do the job. It...it went fine. I was just sore for a few days after...I mean..."

"Days or weeks?" Kanan slid his arm around Ezra's lower back, holding his padwan along with Hera.

"...Months really." Ezra confessed. "But...but I got the Tower patched and the heat returned. And I had enough to survive the winter months." Not that he had been able to leave the Tower for a full month, surviving on what he had bought before the surgery.

He spent that first day just laying in his tower, crying every time he moved as much as a inch, his breathing thick and shallow, tears streaming down his face and wishing desperately that his parents, that anyone had been there for him.

Kanan arm tightened around him as did Hera's and Ezra noticed both Zeb and Sabine moving closer, their presence comforting.

"...When did you sell it Ezra?" Kanan asked again, his voice quieter. "...Year before I meet all of you."

"Ezra..." The Jedi held him tighter, burying his face in the others dark hair. If they had come just a year earlier. Just a year before. Would that really have hampered them to much if they had meet Ezra just a year earlier?

"...I'm fine really...bit hungry though." Ezra whispered, almost making a noise when Hera stood.

"Well lets get some food into you...and then a trip into the medbay to check your blood levels...and I think lower your protein intake just in case for now..." Hera moved to the galley, leaving Ezra blinking after her. "I'll go fetch a sweater, you're gonna catch a cold like that Ezra." Sabine stood, hurrying to the cabins.

Zeb grunted and got up too. "I'll help Hera, we all need food I think."

Chopper beeped something rudely but instead of zapping Ezra he bumped lightly into his leg and then rolled to check on some of the ship equipment.

The teen blinked slowly and looked up at Kanan, finding the other already staring at him with a intense look in his eyes.

"...We are so proud of you. For becoming who you are. For living. For surviving." He murmured quietly. "We are so happy you're here, with us Ezra. You are stronger then even I thought possible. And right now, you shine like a bright star to us." He smiled slightly.

Ezra stared at the older man, confused, scared and feeling so warm deep inside as Kanan reached out with the Force, gently sending waves of love and comfort through the still forming bond the two had.

He settled his forehead against Ezra's "For all that you survived, you're still here and still bright and you have no idea how proud that makes us." He repeated quietly, feeling a tentative response from Ezra reaching out with his own Force.

"...Kanan...thank you."

The Jedi smiled and closed his eyes, sitting there quietly with his forehead against Ezra's, both tentatively exploring the bond that tied them, Jedi and padawan, together.

* * *

Author note: Once again, thank you all for the overwhelming reviews to Safe here. This is the last part of the fic I have managed to crank out and I don't think I will be making more though I'm not ruling it out that I will once I have watched one or two more episodes of Star Wars Rebel. As of now I have only watched two episodes. Oh, ps, I KNOW Ezra is canocally 15 as of Empire day but can you blame me for shaving of just a year to get him safe? Heh until next time people.


	4. Bonds so small

It had not been in the plans to get separated from the others. It had certainly not been in the plans to get actually captured by two thugs from one of the local gangs on Lothal and it had certainly not been in the plans for them to actually sell him of to two bounty hunters after breaking Ezra's leg with a metal pipe.

Ezra eyed his slingshot and communicator from where it was tucked on one of the bounty hunters belts, trying to ignore the eye watering pain springing from the oddly crooked leg. A Mandalorian if Ezra was right but that wasn't really important. He was more worried about that communicator crackling to life only for the bounty hunters to use it to capture his friends. He'd never forgive himself if the others got hurt because Ezra managed to get himself captured though he was pretty certain he had turned it of just in case before he'd gotten in a fight with the thugs.

The other, a male Siniteen was eyeing Ezra in a way that made him uncomfortable as he sat there quietly with his arms harshly restrained behind his back, the two not finding it necessary to tie the young padawan's legs because of the obvious break in one of them. "Clive, you sure he's safe to transport like this? The poster said he was Force sensitive and I've seen people like that do some fucked up stuff even injured." The guy speculated.

"If he causes any trouble, we know what to do." The newly named Clive said distractedly, typing away at his datapad. "You worried, use it on him Bryn." The Siniteen grunted and continued watching Ezra.

'I could throw them around, if I smacked them against the wall or each other they would be out long enough I wager. If I could get closer to the speeder I could use it to get away...try to find Kanan through the Force.' Ezra shifted, hissing at that caused his leg to jerk and send spikes of pain through his whole body. He wondered if Kanan could feel him, he could certainly feel the bond they had though faintly, where ever Kanan was on Lothal it was pretty far from him.

"Beside, look at him. He can barely move without causing himself more pain." The Mandelorian snorted, not thinking much of Ezra's chances of escape clearly.

The Siniteen wasn't convinced clearly but nodded unhappily. "Yeah well, I'd feel better if we just knocked him out." He grumbled and the Mandelorian groaned before reaching into his belt and throwing something at the other. "Here then, go ahead."

The other grinned, finally getting his way about...well whatever his friend had given him before advancing towards Ezra.

The teenager tensed and pushed his back against the wall, giving him the darkest glare he could but that didn't stop him as the Siniteen roughly grabbed Ezra's arm and pulled him a bit up, sending waves of pain through Ezra. In the hazy view he only had a few seconds to realize that one, the Siniteen had a syringe in his free hand and two, was holding his arm up to jab him him with it.

And then it was sunken deeply into his arm, the blue liquid entering Ezra's veins.

With a satisfied grunt, the man let him go, Ezra dropping sharply on his rear before he returned to his friend, peering at the datapad with him and leaving the human alone, staring at where the syringe had gone and then been removed, leaving only a vague ache behind.

What in the blast had they given him?

There was plenty of drugs on the markets, Ezra knew that but he hadn't recognized the color as any particular drug that he had ever tested. Or seen for that matter and Ezra had seen most of the stuff that passed through Lothal.

Was it even meant for human consump-

He felt cold, Ezra could feel cold suddenly, creeping slowly through his veins as if it was trying to steal all the heat in his body. Sensations were suddenly getting fainter, smaller. Everything was getting hazier around him and the fluctuations of the Force around him...

Ezra gave gasp of horror and fear as it started to get slippery and close up, the tentative bond he had been building with Kanan slowly closing inside him too.

"What did you give me!?" He shouted, his own voice sounding to far away, to flat, as if he was shouting from inside a hole with a lid on.

"Pipe down Loth-rat or I will quiet you." The Mandelorian grumbled. "Its a Force suppressor, supplied by the Inquisitor himself." He smirked at Ezra's horrified face. "Don't worry, we'll be handing you of to him soon enough. He's going to pay us a lot more for you then we gave those idiots." He laughed and focused back on the datapad, ensuring that his message to the Imperial Star Destroyer had gone through.

"No no no no no no no no." Ezra struggled, no longer concerned about the pain in his leg, no longer thinking about any pain. Just the slowly suffocating feeling of losing contact with the Force was his concern, the way he could suddenly feel a brief flash of horror on Kanan's side of the bond and then it was gone.

As if it had never existed, as if Kanan had never existed.

Ezra screamed in denial.

()()()()()()()()()()

In the middle of a gun fight with the bucketheads Kanan stopped, freezing in shock and horror as he suddenly felt the bond he had been building with Ezra waver and start to close up, Ezra feeling terrified on his end. He'd been feeling the pain for a while but had been unable to go look for him thanks to the stormtroopers that had intercepted them.

But this was something entirely else. The bond just gone, wiped out as if...as if...

"Specter one?!" Hera's yell shook Kanan out of his shock and he jumped back, hooking his lightsaber back on his belt before he waved his arms in front of him as if was parting curtains, sending the troopers into the walls and each other with a loud metallic clang.

Zeb almost dropped his bo-rifle in surprise. "What th-"

"Ezra's gone." Kanan panted, looking around, trying to sense his padawan, trying to reach out with the Force. "The bond, I can't feel him." Hera seemed to catch on quicker then the other two and covered her mouth. "But..."

"He was in pain, we were here, to many stormtroopers. And then the bond started to close up...I...its silent. Its closed. I can't FEEL him Hera!" Kanan had no idea what to do. Any other time he would have used to bond to guide him to his padawan but right now that was impossible.

"What...what does that mean?" Sabine asked hesitantly.

"It means Ezra is either not on Lothal anymore...or he's dead."

One of the stormtroopers groaned and they took of running before they could be engaged in battle again.

"We have to check right?" Sabine continued while following. "We owe Ezra that much, to at least look for him? He could be passed out?"

Kanan didn't know. His own padawan teachings had been so short before the Jedi order was slaughtered by those they had once fought beside. The bond he had formed with his own master had been to short to get to know how they were suppose to be and feel, only the pain he experienced when it severed was clear.

"We'll ask around Kanan, Ezra's kind of hard to not spot. Someones bound to have seen him and we have some allies here that would at least tell us if they've seen him." Zeb continued from Sabine.

"We'll look." Hera promised. "Right now we need to get to the ghost and lay low but we will contact everyone we know...Kanan we'll find him." She reached out and squeezed the Jedi's upper arm as they continued running.

Kanan glanced at her and nodded shakily.

()()()()()

He was so cold and he was in a crate. That much Ezra knew. And said crate was moving around, jarring him back and forth, most likely causing more bruises then Ezra wanted and causing more damage to his broken leg.

But he was to far gone. His mind was to far away, desperately trying to reach out to something that was no longer there, something that had always been there if only subtlety at first. Just a gentle influence all through his life until it was trained and hardness into what Ezra learned to be the Force.

The Force that connected all living through the galaxy to each other, that pulsed and weaved through every being who breathed and existed. The Force that tied him and Kanan together.

A Force Ezra could no longer access and it was leaving him with a unnatural chill to his bones.

The crate suddenly gave a heavy jerk, causing Ezra's head to hit what must be the top of it harshly, sure to leave behind a nice egg of a bruise and swell. It jerked Ezra out of his state enough to try and focus.

He wondered where he was, he wondered how much time had passed since he had been taken and put in the crate. He couldn't be sure but he could feel that his throat was raw and sore and his mouth was dry as Tatooine's deserts.

So at least a few hours.

Ezra hissed in surprise as the lid was suddenly of, light streaming into the box, squinting against the lights above him.

"One Force sensitive brat, as promised."

"Excellent, the Inquisitor will be pleased."

Ezra froze, recognizing that voice quite clearly before the owner leaned in and grabbed his chin, the blond man smirking at him. "Welcome on board the Star Destroyer Loth-rat." Agent Kallus practically purred before noting his leg as he straightened up. "The Inquisitor is not going to be pleased about the condition of his leg, he wanted him relatively unharmed for now."

"Not our fault. Could have done it of course but worst we did was give him a few scrapes in the box and the Force suppressor that we were given to keep the brat still."

"Hmm, fine. Officer Utru, take care of their payment. You two, take the boy to a holding cell. Take CARE, he's escaped before though with a Force suppressor he should be easier to control with his arms restrained. Keep him in the cell or there will be hell to pay with the Inquisitor."

Ezra was roughly jerked out of the crate by a stormtrooper, unable to contain a yell of pain as he set him on his feet. His broken leg buckled under him and he almost feel if it had not been for the harsh grip the trooper had on him.

He was thrown over a shoulder after a moment and Ezra wasn't sure if the burning in his cheeks came from embarrassment and pain of being thrown over a bucketheads shoulder or from being unable to walk at all.

"Or perhaps he'll be even less trouble then I thought." He heard Kallus snort in dark amusement as the troopers started walking, heading to the holding cells.

()()()()()()

"What do you mean you saw two bounty hunters with him?" Kanan stared at the Rodian.

"What Noodol say. Bridger passed out with bounty hunters. Pale. They threw him in a crate and left." The dark green Rodian confirmed again for them. "Seen them before. Noodol know they work with Imperials. Bridger not look good. To pale." He glanced around worriedly, not wanting anyone to see him talking to the Rebels. He wanted to help but he didn't want to get in trouble.

"Thank you Noodol, do you know where they went?" Hera asked, recognizing that the other was close to running.

"Noodol see them take Bridger towards the port. Noodol sorry, Noodol not strong." He shook his head and quickly left before hesitating. "Noodol hope you find Bridger though." He hurried of.

"At least its something Kanan." Hera turned to the Jedi. "He was pale but not dead?" She tried smiling.

"Then why can't I feel him?" Kanan scrubbed his face with his hands.

"I don't know Kanan." The Twi'lek offered gently, her lekku's twitching the only thing giving away her anxiety.

"We could hack the port cameras, check up on what's there." Sabine offered, biting her lips. "And get the shipping manifest to see where they were going."

"Its as good a plan as anything right now to find Ezra." Zeb grumbled, glaring darkly at nothing while his ears twitched agitatedly.

'Ezra...where are you?'

* * *

Author note: Just a little note up about my last story, I know some of you found the kidney thing...well off. I had a few private pms on it actually. Black market organ trade is a thing of our world, some pay a LOT of money for them. You can't tell me its not the same in Star Wars and the organ market might actually be a lot bigger and more difficult then it is here in our little world. I mean its a big galaxy. Anyhow, um, enjoy the next segment? Sorry to leave on a cliffhanger heh


	5. Bonds so small (part 2)

The whole cell was a monotone gray. Sabine would have a fit in one of these though her armor alone would be plenty of color, not to mention the hair, she might even come up with a creative art solution to get out. Ezra leaned his head against the wall, his head pounding and feeling nauseous as he had tried to walk on his broken leg a few times before giving up.

He felt like a twice rung wompa rat at the moment. Or turned over bantha dung.

Both those fit honestly.

He swallowed and pushed his head back against the cold metal, feeling it sooth the pain in his head slowly. Not to mention the lump he had from hitting the crate the last time they set it down.

He was still struggling to reach out into the Force, if he could just reach it he could get out. He could make his way around and escape. He was good at that...usually.

He had no idea how long he'd been sitting there when the cell opened with a hiss, the last man Ezra wanted to see in the whole galaxy standing there, smirking at him with his golden and red eyes.

"If it isn't the padawan." The Pau'an drawled. "Without his Jedi teacher even." He chuckled as he stepped in, smirking more as Ezra pushed himself back into the metal walls. "I do hope you've had time to reconsider the offer of joining. You know you could be so much stronger on this side of the Force. The Dark would welcome you if you only gave into that anger and hate we can feel in you."

"Never." Ezra growled out more bravely then he was honestly feeling as he pushed himself as hard into the walls as he could.

"Hmm, not unexpected but a pity still, you'd would be a wonderful asset to the Empire and the Inquisitorius." The man drawled before raising his hand and almost elegantly jerking it back. Ezra gave a shrill cry of pain as he was pulled by broken leg of the durasteel bench he had been sitting on.

His vision swimming he tried to turn onto his stomach so he could get up on his knees only to be jerked again, this time out of the cell, crashing against the wall on the other end. "A bit unrefined, but perhaps it will gain me the results I desire and drive in the point." He heard the Inquisitor say through the haze of pain before he was jerked again, this time hitting the wall, practically hearing his own skull crack and sear with pain as he did.

He hit the ground, panting, so close to throwing up with his skull rattled around.

"Ah...Inquisitor?" Ezra raised his head to look at the fuzzy form of Agent Kallus with a few stormtroopers. The blond man looked kind of surprised from what Ezra could tell.

"Agent Kallus, if you would prepare a interrogation cell I would appreciate it. Also fetch a interrogation droid, a IT-O will do the job. If it were to fail, I will have to do its job." From the sound of his voice, Ezra knew he didn't want the latter to happen at all.

Ezra tried to get up, staggeringly managing to get onto one foot before he was jerked down again, this time sliding until he was by the Inquisitors feet, the Pau'an smirking down at him. "One way or another, you'll talk little padawan. You either break or you talk." He said cruelly.

"I'm not telling you anything." Ezra spat out before actually spitting on the mans boots, his whole body trembling.

The Pau'an growled slightly before Ezra was once again sliding against the floor. "Take him to the cell and strap him in. No mistakes Agent Kallus." He snapped. "The Force Suppressor will only last so much longer."

Ezra jerked his pounding head up at that. He'd be able to access the Force soon?

He yelped as he was hefted up and then carried, throbbing to much to put up any kind of fight. It felt like a hour of the troopers armor digging into his stomach before he was suddenly dropped onto a metal bed and a metal strap went over and trapped him to the board. Ezra swallowed, feeling much to small against the cold metal even as he tried to tell himself that he wasn't small by any means, he was tall for his age.

"...Loth-rat." He looked up at Kallus who gave him a long, hard stare. "Just tell him what he wants. It will be easier in the long run, for all of us. And especially for you." He turned and left, the door hissing shut and leaving Ezra in yet another cell, this one so much worse then the monotone gray as Ezra could clearly smell a iron like scent in the air. Blood.

He shook a bit, looking around, squirming under the metal as he tried to escape it. Though how far he could possibly get with his broken leg being jerked around as it had he had no idea, even the slow returning of the Force wouldn't exactly help him walk.

Giving a full body jerk as the door hissed open again, sapphire eyes went wide in fear at the floating droid almost lazily coming into his cell. "No..."

The screams that followed from the closed cell moments later should never come from any sentient humanoid.

()()()()()

There was a tickle, followed by a jerk, a pull and then a explosion. That was the best way Kanan could explain how it felt when suddenly Ezra could be felt. The others had been going through the manifest to find where the ship with the bounty hunters had gone while he had been trying to meditate, to find Ezra still.

Kanan gasped, falling out of his meditative pose.

"Kanan?" Hera looked to him quickly, Sabine still pouring over the manifest. Zeb watched them all with Chopper whirling angerly in the background.

"I felt him. I felt Ezra." He panted and rubbed his face before settling back to search for his missing padawan, closing his eyes.

'Ezra?' He called out, following the thread of Force that was Ezra. 'Ezra where are you?'

There was a slow burst, full of pain and fear, directing Kanan towards where the other was.

'Ezra?'

Another burst, this one clearer but just as full of pain yet tinged with hope.

'Kanan...help me...'

Kanan snapped his pale green eyes open. "I know where he is. We need to get him now." He stood.

"Where?"

"The Star Destroyer. He's there. In a cell. He's hurting so much but...I can't quite...he feels so slippery, almost oily...as if he's fading in and out of the Fo-oh...oh no." He groaned, realizing why he hadn't been able to sense his padawan.

"What?" Hera asked, alarmed.

"They gave him a Force suppressor. I didn't even think of that, I mean why would a couple of bounty hunters have that, its expensive to make and buy. I didn't even consider anyone here...they must have been supplied." Kanan cursed. "Kriff! We need to get him, we need to get him out of there..."

"Easy Kanan, we'll get him back but we can't just waltz in there as if we belong." Zeb tried to reason.

"What other choice do we have? Ezra is in PAIN. I can feel that even through the oily sensation when I reach for him." Kanan was close to tearing his hair out at this point.

"We could try to slip in? I mean it wouldn't be the first time we've tried?" Sabine offered, Chopper beeping and then twirling angerly in the background. "What you bucket?!"

"Chopper?" Hera focused on the astromec. "Oh! Well we could contact Fulcrum. He might be able to help?" She looked at Kanan who took a deep breath, trying to gather himself, finding his center. "Kanan, we can't go in there blind." She reasoned.

"...I..."

"Go meditate, I know its not the best advice but...you need to be collected for this. If we're going in there, we all need to be." She got up to contact Fulcrum.

With reluctance everyone left for their cabins though Zeb ended up not going in and instead sitting down in his chair, settling in to maintain his bo-rifle instead.

What Sabine was doing was up to anyone's guess with the way noises were coming from her cabin. Perhaps something to help save their lost friend.

Kanan stopped in the middle of his cabin, taking a deep breath through his nose before slowly kneeling down and resting on his legs, doing exactly what Hera had suggested despite wanting to exactly the opposite and pace the ship. Or worse, board the Star Destroyer alone.

So he tried to meditate, feeling Ezra and the pain he was going through, feeling helpless and cold at his own inability to save him, to protect him like a good mentor should. He clenched his hands on his knees, taking a harsh, shuddering breath before reaching out again.

'Ezra. Ezra can you hear me?'

There was a burst of emotion. Pain, fear, hopelessness.

'Ezra hold on, we're trying. We're trying.'

Another burst of emotions and then a image. It sent Kanan reeling out of his meditation to stare at the bare walls of his cabin, eyes wide. And then he was on his feet, ignoring the ache in his knees from kneeling to long.

Hera, Chopper and Zeb were in the common area, the Twi'lek telling the other something as Kanan burst in.

"Kan-"

"They have a interrogation droid in the room with him! With Ezra!"

()()()()()()()

It tickled.

That was the thing Ezra could feel through everything else. Through all the hazy pain and Kanan reaching out to him in the Force, he feel the tickling.

Blood sluggishly rolling down his left upper arm, down the lower and dripping of his index finger tickled. He dropped his head to rest on his shoulder to watch it, swallowing dryly as he did.

He was used to being in pain

He wasn't used to feeling like he had been disemboweled though.

Ezra forced himself to look up as there was a hiss from the doors, his body tensing on instinct. Then he relaxed a bit as it was just Agent Kallus, the man lit up by the almost orange glow of the cell. Honestly, out of the Inquisitor, the sadistic droid and Agent Kallus, he much preferred this guy.

The agent stood there, his arms tucked behind his back as he stared back at Ezra, blue eyes sparkling dimly in the light. "...The Inquisitor has been delayed with other matters. He has informed me that you have gotten a extension of your...thinking time. As it is I am here to hear what you have decided."

Ezra's tongue felt to big in his mouth as he tried to laugh, the sound coming as if through a broken hallway. "Like I told the rust-bucket, have to try better then that. Not telling you guys anything." He tried to smile but the bruises hurt to much to get a proper smile going and he ended up with a weird grimace with teeth.

Kallus took a deep breath through his nose, instantly regretting it at the heavy smell in the air before focusing on Ezra. "If you don't give him what he wants, you are never leaving this cell."

"Then I'm never leaving this cell am I." Ezra shot back, trying to lick his lips but having to little moisture to make it feel right. "But my friends will come pick me up at that. I'm sure."

Kallus snorted at him. "Your friends who don't even know where you are? I've given you the message. My jobs done." He stepped back sharply and closed the door.

Ezra stared at the door then looked down at the strap over his chest, swallowing a bit. He knew the others were coming from him, he could feel Kanan out there now.

'Focus...Ezra focus...' He tried to breath with the Force. How did Kanan make this look so easy?

He almost missed it when the strap started to move, Ezra pulling it far enough that he could slip under and fall to the ground, shuddering at the pain he caused himself as the strap snapped back in place.

The door hissed and Ezra snapped his head up, throwing his hand up in response and throwing the Stormtroopers against the wall. The door was open.

Ezra swallowed and crawled to it, using the doorway to pull himself up before leaning against the wall, using it to support himself for now until he could find a better solution, adrenalin taking over for the pain. As he walked, a blood smear was left against the wall.

'Gotta get out of here. Come on you laserbrain...you need to get out of here.'

()()()()()

"We have ONE shot at this. You all hear me? One shot." Hera stared at them. "If you get caught we don't have another way onto this ship."

Kanan nodded, clenching the Stormtrooper helmet in his hands.

"The codes we got will only work out this rescue mission, they WILL be changed. And the agent on board will have to be removed for their own safety and placed somewhere else in the Rebellion. This was the best Fulcrum could do and we should be grateful for it." She looked at them all.

"Once on board, you Sabine will set your surprises. No hiccups. Zeb you are to stay on the ship and be backup. This has to be quick, before the alarms are raised. Kanan you need to find Ezra and you need to get him down to the hanger fast." Hera's lekku's were twitching in her seriousness.

"Chopper will stay here and help me. We need to be ready for a quick get away...now go get Ezra back."

They should have known getting on the ship went to easy.

Finding Ezra was a lot harder because the teen had already sprung himself from the cell. Both Sabine and Kanan stared at the long smear of blood that went down the hall before tracking it, afraid of what they'd find.

"Specter 2, he's not in the cell." Sabine informed their friend.

"Copy, find him. Quickly, before we get discovered."

Kanan didn't dare reach out with the Force while on the ship. He had a feeling the Inquisitor was somewhere on it and as badly as he wanted to find the teen, he didn't want them to be found and for their escape to be hindered.

It was a poor choice either way and Kanan cursed it to the deepest voids.

The blood smear ended in a hallway and Kanan looked around wildly as Sabine cursed beside him. "Where did h-"

They both shut up as a door opened, a Imperial technician standing there and behind him on the bed in the room...Ezra.

Kanan almost shot the woman before she quickly raised her blood coated hands, looking around. "Shhh! Don't. Specter one?" She looked anxiously between them, giving a relieved sigh when Kanan nodded, stepping out of the way to let them in. "I found him in the hallway. He's not in a good shape and I don't know if we can get down to the hanger without anyone seeing us." She twisted her hands together.

Ezra did NOT look good but the agent had tried to help him in the time she had found him.

He was unconscious, coated in blood, his clothes had seen better days, his breathing was shallow and Kanan spotted a splint set up on one leg. "What happened to his leg?"

"He came in like that. The bounty hunters swore they hadn't done it to Agent Kallus." She looked even more anxious. "Are we leaving now? I'd like to leave..." She swallowed.

Kanan took a deep breath and nodded. "We are, Specter Five?"

"Got it. One big distraction coming up." She nodded grimly.

Kanan turned to his padawan, running a gloved hand through sweat and blood coated hair before reaching one arm under Ezra's lower back and the other under the knees, lifting the teen up and getting a pained groan.

"We're going for the west hanger." He looked at the woman. "And we're going to have to go quick. The east hanger is going to blow." He said seriously, looking at her face pale. "That's our distraction, we're going to blow up the east hanger. With everyone to busy there, we're getting out."

"I...yes, yes I understand." She nodded hurriedly.

"We're ready Specter Five..." Kanan held the teen close, feeling the others head rest on his shoulder, listening to the shallow breaths he was taking.

"One big boom." There was something vindictively satisfying in Sabine's voice as she said that.

The whole ship rocked at the force of the blast and hadn't Kanan already been prepared for it he might have fallen over. They shot out of the room, the Jedi keeping a tight hold on the young man in his arms as he let Sabine take point with the agent following behind them as quick as she could.

The sight the four must have made for anyone who saw them Kanan couldn't imagine but right now people were to occupied with the blast. Just as intended.

What was not intended was for the Inquisitor to anticipate their ruse and intercept them, standing between the ship they were suppose to get on and them.

The tall Pau'an smirked unplesantly at them, giving the agent a glance before snorting. "Well, we fished out the mole at least...and we got the bigger price." He smirked at Kanan.

Kanan growled before putting Ezra down against a crate, pulling his lightsaber out and connecting it. "Specter Five..."

"I got it." Sabine nodded and pulled her communicator as Kanan engaged the Inquisitor in a duel, hard and fast.

"Specter Four, come in, we have a situation and we could REALLY need your help out here." Sabine looked at Ezra. "Hold on, we're getting out of here." She looked at the female agent who was hiding with Ezra. "Keep a look at him, my friend will be here soon to carry him." She wasn't sure about carrying Ezra without causing him more pain.

The Lasat moved quickly on his large feet, glancing towards where Kanan was dueling the Inquisitor before focusing on Sabine and then on Ezra, the big male cursing before he reached out and picked up Ezra not unlike Kanan had done earlier

"What about K-Specter One?"

"He can handle himself, we need to get Ezra on board." Zeb was already moving, keeping his grip on the young man as the agent followed quickly. Sabine followed, holding her blasters in her hands.

The sound of the lightsabers hitting fast and furiously made her stop on the ramp and watch, feeling the ship start up. "Specter One!" She called out as the ship started rising, watching Kanan glide backwards before throwing several crates through the air at the Inquisitor.

Then he ran towards the ship, jumping onto the ramp and letting it close behind them as they shot out of the Star Destroyer.

"Ezra?" He looked at Sabine.

"Zeb took him in."

"He's here." Zeb called out from the small cockpit where he had Ezra in second pilot chair. "Figured best to keep a eye on him.

Kanan moved to the front to gently touch Ezra. "Has he moved at all?" He tried touching Ezra's Force, brushing ever so gently against it.

"Not that I've seen. Groaned a few times but that's all." The Lasat answered. He looked at the female agent. "We'll be dropping you of on Lothal where a ship is waiting to take you away to safety. We haven't been told the details."

Her shoulders slumped in relief. "Oh thank you."

Zeb gave her a short smile before looking at Kanan again. "He's in a bad state. I can smell fresh blood Kanan. But we got him and once we get to the ship we can get him into the medbay."

Kanan gave a sharp nod and continued stroking Ezra's soaked hair, letting Ezra cling onto the bond between them with his clumsy attempts, letting his mind at least know he was safe.

"Yeah...lets get him home." Kanan said quietly.

()()()()

His eyes felt glued shut. He was SURE they were glued shut.

Or it was just hard to open them. Whichever.

What he did know was that he was laying comfortable and everything smelled like Zeb.

A door hissed open and Ezra stayed right still until a gentle hand ran itself through his hair, slow and caring. "Uh?"

"Ezra?" A quiet voice whispered. "Come on...open your eyes."

'Kanan?' Ezra struggled to open his eyes, giving a small grunting noise before he finally just gave up, feeling a soft, comforting and understanding brush against his mind.

"Its alright, we can wait. Just do what you need Ezra." Kanan murmured softly, feeling better then he had for days, settling down on the bunk to slowly stroke the others hair. "Just sleep if that's what you need. We'll be right here."

Ezra gave a frustrated noise before giving in and falling asleep again.

"Kanan?" He looked up and smiled at Hera's hesitant face.

"He was...conscious for a few moments. He's back asleep now. Its alright." He returned his attention to Ezra and continued slowly petting his hair.

"Does that mean I can convince you to eat?" Hera smiled slightly.

"...Yeah. I'll come eat." He waited until Hera left before leaning in and kissing Ezra's brow. "Sleep well kid. You are so grounded." He chuckled weakly at his own words before getting up and going to the door.

* * *

Author note: Yeah, okay yeah...I don't know. I like space dad apparently. So yeah...the next chapter will have Ezra healing and perhaps some space mom and space siblings instead ^^


	6. Widening the bonds

When Kanan had said grounded, he'd meant grounded.

Ezra had spent almost a week in a bacta tank, unconscious as his crew mates visited to see him. They'd talk to him or just sit and watch as the teenager looked better for every passing day inside it, getting closer to a recovery they all wanted him to have.

Kanan would usually sit quietly, reaching out and soothing with his side of the Force. First time he'd done it Ezra had jerked inside the tank then settled again, seeming calmer then before as Kanan stayed for a hour or two.

Hera would sit with Chopper beside her and talk about the on goings of the ship, telling Ezra what he was missing out on. Chopper messing with the fresher so Zeb got a cold shower, Sabine accidentally exploding a egg in the kitchen. Kanan smacking so hard into the Lasat that both fell on their asses. Those kinds of things with the occasional binary thrown in by Chopper to elaborate his side of the story, often to the affront of some of the medical droids who understood Chopper perfectly well.

Sabine talked about her arts, the supplies she had been picking up and what she was considering making with it. She didn't go into details about any acts of rebellion, never knowing who was listening but she hinted to it, how her art was going to help them on their next few runs.

Zeb would sit as quietly as Kanan sometimes, other times he'd gruffly offer up that he missed Ezra and speculate how long until Ezra came out of the tank because Zeb would really like to get of the planet as it had awful humidity and it was making his fur stand on floofy ends and made him reek even more then usual.

They kept the ship fully stocked since they had the chance being on a Outer Rim planet for Ezra sake though they were ready to make their escape just in case at all times. And then Ezra could leave the tube, on shaky legs, clinging to the offered shoulder of Sabine, giving his puppy dog smile though shaky as it was.

But he was back on the Ghost, back safe among them.

And so not allowed to take any mission despite insisting he was fine.

"No Ezra. You will stay here with Hera on board. You've barely been out of the bacta tank for a day. You need time to retrain all your limbs and test them." Kanan's tone of voice brokered no arguments as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Come on its not like there's a mission TODAY." Ezra tried only for Kanan to shake his head. "Unless its nesscary you are of any mission roosters for the month out."

"What!"

"You NEED time Ezra. This is not up for debate." The Jedi turned and headed for the galley, leaving Ezra in the cockpit with Hera.

Ezra flopped down in the seat beside Hera, crossing his arms over his chest while sulking. "Can you believe this?!"

"You don't need to shout Ezra." Hera hummed while taking of. "And yes, I can. We all agree that you need time." She glanced at him.

"Oh not you too!" Ezra groaned, running his hands through his hair.

"Ezra..." Hera hesitated before sighing and setting the auto-pilot on, turning to him. "Do you have any idea how it felt like to us when we couldn't adequately care for you? You were pale, your breath was shallow and you wouldn't wake." She said seriously. "We raced to this planet for you, because our medbay is not equipped for the level of trauma you went through. We thought we were going to lose you."

The teen shifted, squeezing his arms around himself a bit tighter. "I'm fine though... I just don't want to hold any of you back. I earned my place here." He muttered rebelliously.

The pilot reached out and carefully drew his hands out, squeezing them between her own as she stared at him with her kind eyes. "You have, many times over Ezra. We're not giving your place away to anyone."

Ezra flinched a bit and looked away at Hera rightly identifying his fear.

"I know that you've done a lot of things to survive. I know some of those haven't been good to you. I know some of them have been downright terrifying." She squeezed his hands again, not letting him pull them away. "But you don't need that here. You are part of this crew, this family. Regardless if you are hurt, sick or just being stubborn." She lifted one hand and used it to cup Ezra's chin, making him look at her as she smiled softly.

"You don't need to prove anything to us. We already know your worth."

Ezra swallowed heavily.

"I just..." His shoulders slumped. "I just..."

"I know Ezra. But please listen to us when we say we can manage if you take the rest of this month to recover. We want you back in fit form." The Twi'lek slowly let go.

"...My leg kind of hurts." Ezra muttered and Hera smiled at that as the medical droid had warned them about potential phantom pains. "I'll tell Chopper to get some of the painkillers and a heating bag." The pills were really placebo but Ezra didn't need to know that, as long as they did the job. If not they had real ones just in case. The doctor had suggested that eventual pains should first be treated with the placebos so not to make Ezra dependent on actual chemicals if it could be avoided.

Ezra looked out at the stars outside the windows, wrapping his arms back around himself now that Hera wasn't holding his hands.

Having her talk to him and touch him like that had been...it reminded him of his mother. He wasn't sure if he liked that comparison.

It felt like a betrayal towards her and yet he craved the contact again.

"...I didn't do those kind of jobs often you know." He surprised himself by saying that and Hera obviously hadn't expected it as she looked to him. "What?"

Ezra shifted and tightened his arms around himself, inwardly cursing that he had said anything at all.

"I...the survival thing you said. I didn't...I mean..." Ezra licked his lips, noting that Hera had yet to turn away from him, fully listening.

"...I didn't take jobs that...that involved sexual favors often." He squeezed his own arms harshly. "The locals didn't really...I think they had some respect left for my parents so they wouldn't touch me like that...it was...mostly of world traders or visitors." He bit down on his lips. "And I didn't need to do it a lot. Or the drug testing. I could usually get by with running packages or stealing except when times got desperate. Like with the kidney I sold."

He tensed as Hera placed a hand on each knee. "I'm glad Ezra. That you could get by. I'm even more glad you survived because you're remarkable to us." She smiled softly at him as Ezra gave her a hesitant look.

"You ran spices, you did things you'd rather forget and you stole. I get it Ezra." She reached in and drew the other into a hug. "I once again wish you hadn't needed it. But you did and that's fine by me." Slowly running his fingers through his hair, she held onto him.

Ezra blinked back tears and pushed his face into her shoulder, taking a shuddering breath.

"...Thank you Hera." He whispered into her shoulder.

On the other side of the cabin door Kanan stood quietly, his hand still hovering over the opener, two pills in his hands.

He wanted to go in there and offer the same kind of comfort Hera was giving him but something told him to wait, to stay right where he was. Ezra opening up and lowering his shoulders from their guard was not something that happened to often.

Him opening up to someone, anyone on board was something they had all been waiting for, hoping the kid would relax. Yet Kanan had hoped it would be him his padawan would have gone to. But Hera was a good choice too, he knew that.

He turned slowly and rested his back against the wall, listening to the quiet noises coming from the cockpit, imagining what was happening almost as if he could see inside through the door.

"And you know what Ezra?" He tilted his head towards Hera's voice, smiling a bit at Ezra's little questioning noise.

"I think your parents would be proud too." She said almost to softly for Kanan to hear.

There was a second silence and then a choked sob.

Kanan practically itched to be in that room but instead stepped back, letting Hera handle the teenager and his sorrow for now until Ezra was ready to talk to Kanan about it. He sat down heavily and watched Sabine and Zeb on the holochess.

"Thought you went to give Ezra the pills for Chopper?" Sabine asked curiously, not having expected the man back so soon.

"Ezra and Hera are talking...I'd rather they finish that conversation before I interrupt." Kanan said evenly, not about to tell them the teen was crying. He remembered being a teen back in the temple and crying and the last thing he wanted was for people to know except for the one he was seeking comfort from. Caleb had never liked having his privacy invaded without good reason even then he hadn't appreciated it.

Kanan didn't think Ezra would like it anymore then he had.

He pretended not to notice Zeb and Sabine exchanging looks before they continued their game.

"...He alright?" Sabine murmured.

"No. But he'll be eventually." Kanan settled. "He will be eventually."

* * *

Author note: So at this point I'm running a bit low. But if anyone has a suggestion or challange for this, please send me a review or pm with it. Happy reading people


	7. World to big

He shouldn't get involved.

If he blew his cover the others would be angry. He was just suppose to keep a lookout for their target.

Blue eyes dragged themselves back to the two kids the Imperial were bullying. The youngest couldn't be more then seven. No more then Ezra had been when his parents had been taken. The older was perhaps nine, perhaps the older sister or just a friend found on the street by the little boy. Both were in shabby, dirty clothes that had seen and smelled better days but they looked comfortable at least.

Loth-rats just like Ezra had been. Children without parents just like him. Alone in a world that was to big and to lonely.

Everyone else were hurrying away or around the two kids and the three Imperials.

Ezra gritted his teeth.

He shouldn't get involved.

The youngest got pushed over and fell on his rear, curling his legs up against his stomach while the older still stood there, scared but defiant, trying to protect the younger. There was a choked sob.

Ezra got involved.

()()()()()

"Specter Six, the secondary target is heading your way. Do you copy?" Kanan waited on a reply that never came, frowning as the silence continued. "Specter Six?"

Nothing once again.

Kanan grunted then looked to Zeb beside him.

The Lasat rolled his eyes before nodding.

"Specter Five, Six is not responding. I need you to intercept our secondary target, he's going the towards Six last known position." Kanan continued, unable to leave the tail he had on their primary target.

"Copy that. What about Six?" Sabine asked promptly.

"Specter Four is on his way. Stay on secondary target, Four will handle this." Kanan said grimly.

()()()()()()

Of the things Zeb had expected to find, this had been excatly over his list of things.

Ezra on his side, arm wrapped around his stomach as he tried to get up while the three Imperial agents jeered him.

Well, sans the kids that were behind Ezra, that had not been on his list. Zeb stilled a second to see Ezra get on his feet, keeping the kids behind him as he growled at the agents, pulling up the energy slingshot he had, not using his lightsaber or Force to avoid being detected.

"I told you to leave them alone." Ezra said angerly, pulling the sling back and aiming it at the agents who just guffawed at them.

"And what's another Loth-rat going to do about? You might as well use that shot, you're out numbered and no ones gonna help another street thief." One of them jeered at him

"Well your not quite right on that." A deep voice growled behind them as a shadow fell on them. Furred hands grabbed a agent head each and smashed them against each other before Zeb turned his attention on the last one who had turned to face the new danger.

Ezra saw his shot and let the energy shot go, slamming into the agent and knocking him out.

"Zeb." He sighed in relief.

"Yeah kid, you were suppose to keep a low profile. Kanan tried getting your attention." The Lasat said, unimpressed as he surveyed the human in front of him.

"I...wait. Just...wait a moment." Ezra sighed and ran his fingers through his hair before turning to the two kids behind him, focusing on the older. "Look, there's a pawnshop on South Dars street. The owner is called Fenadul, she's nice. If you tell her Ezra sent you, she might have some errands you can run and she tends to let those who run for her sleep in the backroom. Got it?" He shifted as the girl nodded, taking the little boys hand and pulling him along, the little boy giving one of the Imperial agents a kick in the side as they hurried past.

Zeb blinked then he grunted. "You...were helping them. That's what happened."

Ezra looked down, swallowing a bit before nodding. "...They're Loth-rats. Just like I am. I..."

Heavy hands came down on Ezra's shoulders and he looked up at the large furry man in front of him.

"You don't have to explain." Zeb murmured before sliding his arm around the teens shoulders and pulling him along, moving away from the passed out Imperials. "I know I don't always...ugh Karabast." He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to figure out how he was going to say it.

Hera and Kanan was a lot more touchy feely and better then him at this.

"What I mean to say is that I know I'm not the easiest guy to get a long with Ezra." He settled on, noting that the teen was glancing up at him though he had his arms wrapped around himself in a all to familiar comforting way. But he was also leaning into Zeb's side despite how often he complained that Zeb smelled.

"And I can understanding helping out someone who can't help themselves...they didn't look very old." He gave a noise through his nose and Ezra shrugged. "Youngest might have been seven. Same age I was when I ended up here."

Zeb blinked at that and looked back to where the two kids were disappearing around the corner in the other direction. Ezra had been that small? That scrawny and dirty?

He looked back down on him and pulled him a bit closer.

"I guess since you're here I missed the target huh?" Ezra asked miserably.

"Yeah but don't be to upset. We got it covered." Zeb squeezed the others shoulder carefully. "Or well the others do." He glanced around then grinned about, pulling Ezra with him over to a stand. He fished out some credits and handed them over to the vendor.

"Zeb wha-" Blue eyes stared in surprise at the iced treat in front of him before looking up at Zeb. "...I'm not a kid Zeb."

The Lasat shrugged. "Kid, you are. And cold treats are good."

Ezra hesitated before reaching out and taking the iced popsicle from the vendor before it could melt, watching as Zeb got one too for himself.

"...Thanks." Ezra muttered, feeling embarrassed as he started sucking on it. It was fruity, sweet and cold and it made Ezra smile a bit as he glanced up at the Lasat as he took a huge bite out of the icy treat.

"...I can't believe you bit into it." Ezra stared at him.

"Why? Its not like its going t-ah! Oh sweet Ashla!" The man groaned and touched his head. "Karabast."

Ezra sniggered. "That's why. You gave yourself a brain freeze."

"I know what a brain freeze is k-ooooh"

Blue eyes rolled in amusement before looking up at the man again. "Place your tongue to the roof of your mouth, heat it up. That tends to make it go away quicker." Zeb gave him a glare through eye watering eyes before doing as told, finding that Ezra was right after a few minutes.

"...Good advice." He shrugged and sucked on the sweet sticky treat instead of taking a bite again.

"...Hey Zeb?"

"Hmm?" The other glanced down at the blue eyed boy beside him.

"...Thanks...for not...I mean..." Ezra breathed out and looked up at him. "Just thank you, for back there." He nodded in the direction they'd come from.

Zeb gave a wry grin. "Don't mention it...honestly, don't mention this to Chopper or Sabine, they'll think I've grown soft kiddo."

That got a laugh out of both.

"Well, now that you mentioned it, you are looking a little blubbery." Ezra smirked.

"Why you...you better start running to the Ghost kid!" The Lasat playfully swiped at the teen who dodged the arm and started running, laughing as he did.

Letting Ezra get a headstart, Zeb smiled slightly, he was confident Kanan and Sabine could finish the mission without him and Ezra and therefor he was letting the kid of.

He glanced back at where the kids had gone and then back to where the orange back was putting distance between the two. 'You got a heart in the right place kiddo...' He started after him.

* * *

Author note: Something sweet to satify some cravings. Heh, thank you to everyone who kindly had suggestions!


	8. Through the vents

"Kind of figured I'd find you in here." Ezra looked up from his legs, staring as Sabine pulled herself through the vent and into the crawl space he had sought refuge in.

"...You're not wearing your armor." He whispered, wincing at how hoarse his voice sounded and how loud it sounded in his ears.

"Bit hard to crawl through the Ghost's vents in it honestly. Didn't think I'd need it here with you either." She shrugged and reached back in behind herself, pulling a bag into the crawl space. She settled in the suddenly rather cramped space while peering at him.

"You're eyes are rather red." She tactfully choose not to mention the red splotches on his tanned cheeks or the tear puddles marks on his arms. Ezra just shrugged and quietly focused on his knees.

Sabine hesitated a bit before speaking up again. "Hera was worried when you didn't show up for grub."

Another shrug and Sabine beat down a small spike of annoyance. 'Easy, he's upset. He's not good at opening up to anyone.' She reminded herself of as she reached into the bag and held out a bottle of water, watching Ezra. "You've been here a while..."

Ezra slowly took the bottle and took a sip from it and Sabine inwardly hooted at her progress. Step one, get some fluids into Ezra. She reached back into the bag and offered him a meal bar, smiling when the other took it though frowned when he didn't make a move to try and unwrap and eat.

"...Is Kanan still angry at me?" Ezra asked quietly.

"I...can't you tell that?" Sabine blinked. "I mean with the bond thing you two have?"

The other teen shuffled a bit, almost squeezing the bar into bits in its wrapping. "I...shielded myself. I..." He swallowed a bit.

He didn't want to know Sabine realized. Ezra didn't want to face Kanan's anger or disappointment, kind of like how Sabine herself didn't want to face Kanan or Hera's disappointment. She shifted at that realization then shrugged. "I don't think he is. He don't think he meant to yell at you honestly." She tried with.

He glanced at her from under his dark hair, red rimmed eyes appearing watery again. He looked like a Loth-puppy who had been kicked and didn't know why.

"He was worried." She continued with, shifting and squeezing herself beside Ezra instead of in front of him, sliding a arm around him instead as Ezra actually crushed the bar in his hand. "Hera was too. You should have told someone about the cut, it could have gotten infected." She wasn't scolding him, not really even as she dragged him closer and rested her head on his.

"It was small though?" Ezra whispered, sniffling a bit.

"We came of a planet with unknown native flora and fauna." Sabine said matter of factly. "For all we knew any one of those plants could have scratched you and been toxic." She kept his arm around Ezra as he tensed.

"...Still didn't have to yell at me." Ezra muttered, squeezing his own legs to him.

"Think he did. Sometimes you have a rather thick head." She hummed lightly.

Ezra went quiet, leaning against her warm side, drinking a bit more water as he did. He mulled over her words for a few more moments before talking again. "He...said he was disappointed in me."

This time it was Sabine's moment to wince.

That was way worse.

Anger could be handled. Anger was honestly easy to handle because then you could be angry yourself and wallow in your anger.

Disappointment felt like a slap in the face and after the initial anger you'd wallow in misery while you thought over their words again and again and again until you were close to crying again.

"And I think Hera agreed with him." Ezra shook a bit and Sabine inwardly cursed before sighing and squeezing him around the shoulders.

"I know how that feels." She offered quietly, feeling Ezra shift so he could glance at her from the corner of his eyes. "Hey, you don't think I've disappointed them? I've done it a few times, never feels good." She sighed and ran her free hand through her dyed hair.

"Not something I'd like to go into detail to but...one time we were hitting Imperial run HQ in the middle of a town. Suppose to be the usual in, cause havoc, distract, get the intel and get out. You've been on a few of those runs by now." She felt Ezra nod more then she saw it.

"Well...I miscalculated my bombs and...a few of the buildings around caught fire along with the Imp run HQ. People who were just unfortunate you know, to live next to it." She blew the hair out of her face, not looking at the younger lad. "Hera was...well I had to tell them I overfilled the bombs you know."

"...They were angry?" Ezra asked softly.

"Very. I destroyed a few homes after all. I was angry too at myself but I felt a bit better when we helped the people out." Sabine shrugged then she sighed. "But it was worse when we got back to the ship, because the others weren't just angry. They were disappointed too. Hera even removed me from any missions for a full week and told me to brush up on my bomb making skills."

Ezra winced at that. Yeah, that sounded similar to Kanan telling him to read up on the effect a infection or toxin could have on a human body.

"I know its not fun. But they're worried. They want to protect us. And they want us to protect others and get better because of the Empire." Ezra looked at Sabine as she dug into the bag again and pulled out a new meal bar, offering it to Ezra. "And right now they're worried because you're up in here and you haven't eaten or drunk since before the planet."

Ezra shifted then took the second meal bar, slowly opening this one and taking a bite.

Sabine smiled at that.

"...Kanan was actually about to try and crawl through the vents." She grinned at him and Ezra let out a choked snort, staring at her. "But...he wouldn't get even halfway before getting stuck."

"That's what we told him. Only ones who has a chance of getting through here are me and you. Chopper could if he wasn't hard metal, kind of need to be able to hold your breath and squeeze through some places." She winked.

She wasn't about to tell him that she had almost gotten stuck a few times on the way. She wasn't a big person by any shot but really, Ezra was one skinny shrimp if he managed to get through the vents with ease.

"Surprised they weren't more dirty." She mused.

"...Been crawling through them now and then. They make for a good peaceful moment." Ezra shifted. "I mean with me and Zeb sharing room its not always easy to have moments alone." He took a big bite out of the bar.

'Oh, that explains it.' Sabine eyed the vent she'd come from and then looked back at Ezra. "So...think you're ready to rejoin us back in the common room?"

The teen shifted beside her then shook his head a bit. "Not...yet. Think I could stay here a bit longer?" He asked quietly.

"Sure. I'm not gonna force you out of here until you want to go." She squeezed his arm. "But you might wanna let Kanan know you're fine and just in here sulking." She teased lightly and was relieved to get a smile instead of a sullen look. She hadn't been sure he'd be up to the tease or if she'd be overstepping her bounds to try and cheer him up.

Ezra took a deep breath and then repeated it. In through the nose, out through the mouth. In through the nose, out through the mouth, eyes closing.

Slowly he lowered his shield, hesitantly reaching out towards the life forces he could feel. And then he was almost sent reeling as a mass of relief and concern hit him, Kanan feeling him the moment he had reached out.

He must have been waiting on Ezra, meditating to catch him the moment he could.

There was some lingering anger, disappointment but more then that was the concern. There was a slight hesitation before Ezra felt as if Kanan had just ruffled his hair, a 'its okay Ezra' feeling accompanying it.

He shook a bit before responding with a equal hesitantly push back, 'I'm sorry.' in return only to receive soft amusement. It was fine, but Kanan wanted him to come out and eat something more then a meal bar. Also apparently Chopper hadn't stopped zapping them, him and Zeb, for 'scaring' Ezra into the vents.

Ezra opened his eyes and looked at Sabine who tilted her head at him, colored strands of hair catching the light in the vent.

"...Okay." He smiled a bit before shifting out of Sabine's arm and moving to the open vent, starting to crawl through it with practiced ease. The Mandalorien teen picked up the bag she'd used to bring water and food to Ezra and followed quickly, ready to get back out, beaming proudly that she'd managed to get him out. But perhaps she would have been the only one who could.

After all, no teens liked to disappoint their 'parents'.

* * *

Author note: Peer a suggestion on , this was one of them, a demand for some Sabine time in her being able to understand Ezra better then the others.


	9. A Little quiet

He'd been feeling of all yesterday but had ignored it in favor of Jedi training, some mission planning and Hera and Kanan writing up a list on a supply run they were running the next day. It was just a bug, he could handle bugs, he got them all the time down on Lothal, the 'perks' of living on the street after all and socializing with the criminal scum of it that he had to at times.

But as the night started to approach Ezra was pretty sure that he was getting sicker even as he managed to scarf down a bit of food before going to his bunk to curl up for the night, for once falling asleep before Zeb joined him.

The Lasat cocked his head before shaking it and crawling into his own bunk, grunting as he got comfortable and settled in. If he could get to sleep without Ezra complaining about snores he was fine with that.

He ate his words the next day as he woke up to the distinct smell of a sickness.

Zeb grumbled and pulled out of his punk, looking up into Ezra's bunk and noting the way he was tightly curled up around himself facing the wall, the blanket wrapped messily but tightly around his skaking form.

"Kid? Ezra." He reached out and carefully squeezed a skinny shoulder, grunting when he only got a mumble in response. "Come on, open your eyes kid." He tugged the other over on his side, his frown growing as he saw the sweat soaked face as blue eyes opened to peer at him. "Wazzit furball?" Ezra tried out.

"Karabast, okay, wait here, I'm getting Kanan or Hera, you're sick." He stepped back and slid out of the room, he wasn't to certain on human sickness and how it worked, he knew more about patching a bleeding human up honestly but he could tell from the smell that Ezra was well sick.

He headed to the common area where he could hear Hera fussing over Sabine. "We have a pro-oh no, yer sick too?" He groaned, eyeing Sabine who looked up at him with a annoyed but flushed look.

"Its not that bad. Just nausea and a fever, I just need some rest." The teenage Mando huffed.

Hera however caught onto Zeb's words. "Wait, what do you mean with her too?" She looked around, face growing worried. "Where's Ezra?" At those words Kanan sat up.

"He's sick too. And worse of the Sabine I think? Or I don't know. I don't know how human bodies work this out." He shrugged akwardly as Kanan got up to go check on Ezra, Hera staying with Sabine.

Zeb followed. "He doesn't smell right at least, he's sweaty and he keeps kind of shivering?"

"He and Sabine might have picked it up from staying in the cold vent." Kanan sighed. "Cold bug most likely. Hera and I were going to get medicine along with our supplies when we were out but if Ezra is sick too..." He hesitated.

"I can look after them." Zeb said quickly, rubbing the back of his neck at the surprised look Kanan threw him. "Its not like its gonna be much trouble, I mean kits who got sick back on Lasan usually slept most of the time?"

"Well they might sleep but that's not certain." Kanan stepped into the bunk, climbing up into the bunk to check on Ezra instead of just standing there, touching the kids fevered head.

Ezra gave a token grumble of annoyance at his bunk being crowded but leaned into the touch.

"Morning..." He mumbled before giving a slight cough.

"Hey. Seems you and Sabine are sick, colds from the little vent excursion." Kanan smiled a bit down at Ezra, keeping his hand on the others forehead for a few seconds before carding his fingers through slightly sweat soaked hair. "Me and Hera are going to pick up some medicine for you two. You fine with that?"

Ezra gave a miserable nod.

"Zeb are gonna stay behind with you two and Chopper." Kanan continued

"Kay." It was a testament to how miserable Ezra must be feeling if he didn't put up a complaint.

"Just let me use the fresher before you two go." Zeb grunted, heading to the bathroom quickly.

Kanan watched him go before focusing on Ezra again. "You should have said something. Sabine had some home remedies last night to treat herself." He murmured.

"Didn't think much of it...used to get bugs you know." Ezra coughed a bit, watching Kanan climb down before holding his arms out for Ezra.

"Uh?"

"Well you don't want to stay here do you? It be easier for both Chopper and Zeb to keep a eye on both you and Sabine on the couch in the common room."

"But you're gonna..."

"Do you WANT to climb?"

Ezra blinked at that before shaking his head and shifting towards the end of the bunk, letting Kanan lift him down on the floor. He took the moment to place his head on Kanan's chest, giving a hoarser cough while Kanan rubbed his back.

"We'll get you some cough medicine. You want anything else?"

"...When I was young my mother would make hot chocolate...with cinnamon in it." Ezra said quietly against the others warm chest.

"Alright, we'll see if we can find some." Kanan smiled down at him before pulling back and drawing the teen with him to the common room where Sabine already was, sitting under a blanket. She gave Ezra a miserable wave which he returned before he was sitting down on the other end of the couch and getting wrapped in a blanket by Hera.

"Right, I've made some soup. It needs five more minutes but it should be done before Zeb comes out of the fresher." Hera switched between petting Sabine and then petting Ezra, frowning at the fevers they were sporting.

"What kind?" Ezra looked up. It would be nice with something hot for his scratchy throat.

"Callosian spring vegetable soup."

"...I have no idea what that is."

"Its good." Sabine offered from here side. "Really. Its just broth and vegetable Ezra, nothing dangerous and its easy to swallow down." She snuggled more under her blanket, curling against the seat.

Ezra took her word for it, cuddling up to while waiting on soup. Kanan gave both a cup each to drink after a few minutes before Zeb finally came out of the fresher, moving to make some space waffles for himself since the soup were for the sick kids.

"Alright, are you sure you're fine with looking after them Zeb? I could stay." Hera looked at the Lasat. Zeb waved her away in annoyance. "I'm fine. Like I told Kanan, they're sick, kits back home usually slept then and I bet those two are going to sleep for the most part themselves. And I got a communicator if something comes up." He started eating.

The pilot hesitated before nodding, smiling at him. "Alright. You two, try to rest until we get back." Hera turned to the two teens who gave halfhearted waves.

Zeb grunted before moving and sitting down between the kids, still eating. "Well, this is fun."

"Sorry." Ezra mumbled.

"Eh its fine kid. People get sick all the time. Surprised you didn't get any space sickness from being brought of Lothal the first time." The purple male snorted.

"..."

"...You didn't, did you?"

"I...a small cold? It wasn't anything big really. And you were already annoyed at the time so I didn't want to badger." Ezra shrugged, shifting until he was leaning against Zeb. On his other side Sabine did the same, soaking in the comforting heat of the furry man.

Zeb looked between them, feeling kind of caught out. "Errg...well tell us next time. I don't know that much but I know humans aren't suppose to be this fevered."

"We're just a bit sick. Though Ezra was in the vent longer then me." Sabine grumbled, comfortable against the furry arm.

The older man sighed then he put his empty plate aside and wrapped his arm around Sabine's shoulder, letting her rest against his chest instead and snorting when she instantly snuggled in. "Yeah well now you're both sick."

He almost yelped as Ezra put his head on his lap, the teens snuggling up more and curling up on the space he had so his whole body fit on the couch. Zeb swallowed before resting a hand on Ezra's shoulder, peering at them both before he slowly started to run his fingers through Sabine's hair and then Ezra's, his hands now occupied.

"Guess I'm not moving huh?" He offered dryly, not really upset though a bit uncomfortable.

"You're warm." Ezra offered up.

"Very. It feels nice." Sabine offered from his other side.

Zeb grumbled before using his feet to turn on the holo. "Yeah well, we're gonna watch the Holo if I'm staying here and I'm picking the show." He said gruffly.

"That's fine."

"Sure."

He snorted at their lack of protest. He was sure once he picked a show they'd complain.

Yet they didn't. They quietly watched the holo with him, the sounds occasionally interrupted by a cough or sneeze from one of them. By the end of his show, Zeb glanced at them to see Sabine with half lidded eyes, almost asleep and Ezra already far gone back to sleep, the youngest looking far to content with his head on Zeb's lap while a large hand was buried in his hair.

Zeb blinked, realizing his hands could easily cup their skulls and hold them close, almost like how you could cup a kits head back on Lasan before it fell.

A broken piece in Zeb's chest that he long ago buried burned and straightened itself as he cupped them a bit closer, a flare of protective instinct he usually reserved for those they were helping. But at that moment it was reserved for the two living beings against him as he held them close, listening to the noises of their breathing.

"...Gonna be alright kiddos." He said quietly, hearing Sabine hum quietly against his chest, his ears flickering lightly. "Gonna be alright."

* * *

Author note: Enjoy the fluff?  
Hmm at this point I'm itching with the need for angst...mwuahahah! What? No, I'm not psycotic, thanks for asking lovelies~


	10. What ifs and perhaps

Dreaming, imagining, thinking it, it wouldn't change a thing.

Kanan knew that.

Told himself it often enough. Dreaming about what ifs, perhaps and might were not good for the souls who lived in the moment.

But at the same time he couldn't help it. Couldn't help but wonder, imagine and dream this particular thought, nurture it in a way he didn't dare with others.

What if they had come to Lothal sooner. What if Ezra had been younger. How would things have been different?

Would he still be the same kid, the same kid hearted child but with less scars and more trust?

Would he have dared to come close to Kanan even?

Sometimes Kanan could imagine a bright eyed child peering up at him instead of the teenager. But both were just as eager to learn. Yet the child could be no more then seven, fresh from his overturned home.

The burden of a street life yet to touch him.

In his dreams he could see the child, could hold his hand while leading him through crowds whose faces didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was the trusting smile the child with electric blue eyes sent him while clinging to his hand as tight as he could as Kanan lead him to the Ghost.

In his waking moments, he could only hope that the teenager would look at him with as trusting eyes as those of the child in his dreams.

()()()()

Hera would dream of better things. Her life had both ups and downs and sometimes the only refuge you had would be your dreams.

Sometimes about familiar things and sometimes about choices she wished she'd made better.

Other times it could be about the crew she loved and trusted, her family.

She'd dream of coming to Lothal, dream about finding a young child, on the cusps of turning nine perhaps. Eyes so rich in color they looked like sapphires with sun shining through it as he stared up at her, a mix of awe and fear in those eyes as she offered her own hands to him, smiling, assuring.

Dreams of drawing that child into her arms and picking him up, carrying him to the Ghost, knowing that this child was her to protect. Suspicion in those eyes would ease as she feed him, washed him and tucked him up in a blanket.

She'd convince Kanan to keep the child in his room, to help take care of the blue eyed urchin who desperately needed someone to love and care for him.

She'd help him pick up Basic and read and write even more then he already knew. Introduce him to Chopper and make sure the mech knew not to scare or zap the child.

She'd dream how proud she'd be when Ezra started Jedi training with Kanan.

She'd dream of a better life for a child whose parents the Empire had ripped away like so many had experienced.

()()()()()

His dreams had burned on Lasat.

Or that's what he'd tell himself to get through the cold nights and even colder at times space travels.

They had burned to leave behind shards. To dream was to remember the burning.

But sometimes Zeb could dream without it burning.

He could dream of a skinny hand trying to steal from his pouch. He could dream of catching a small hand before it could pull back and looking into blue, frightened eyes of a human no more then ten with dirt on his cheeks.

He could dream of kneeling down and asking the child where its parents were. He could dream of the shuffling as the child, whose wrist he was still holding refused to answer, looking on the verge of tears.

He could dream of a stomach growling with need of food. He could dream of his own compassion as he reached out and picked up a frightened child, unable to leave the blue eyed child behind as he moved to a vendor.

He could dream of offering a grilled meat stick to a child whose eyes had turned from fear and distrust to awe as skinny arms lifted to take the stick from him. He could see himself heading to the Ghost, arms wrapped protectively around the skinny frame of a child who had been alone for to long as the child ate the stick ravenously.

The Jedi, the Pilot and the Artist would question but relent, letting the young child come with them, helping the Warrior teach him.

They'd find a clever mind under the mop of dark hair. They'd find a sharp wit. A willingness to help now that he had been helped in return.

Pride at a child who had proven to be just as kind as he had been alone.

()()()()()

Sabine was a artist, her mind was creative, she thought in colors and patterns. Dreams were a art, they were a source of inspiration.

She happily dreamed. She dreamed of the day, of her art...and of him.

No more then eleven, the signs of distrust growing in electric eyes but not yet shutting his heart fully and building up the walls. Yet his smile was still the same, a head tilt like a curious Loth-puppy, eager for a sign of recognition and friendship as bruises sprawled across his cheek.

She'd offer him her hands, smiling in return while helping the other up, holding tightly onto a hand while carefully pulling him along, talking to him as she lead him through the crowds.

She'd dream of him opening up. Of the feeling of sadness as she pulled him along, no child should be alone. She wasn't about to let him be alone again as he had been so often.

He'd be one of them, she'd make sure of that, she'd teach him how to hold a blaster properly until Kanan taught Ezra of the Force, watching how the shadows of distrust disappeared from shining sapphires.

Dream as they became tighter knitted family then ever.

()()()()

"No, hold still Chopper!" Ezra grunted, the astromech panels opened as he worked on the wires, rolling his eyes as the other waved his arms in the air. "Look, I know, but these are rusted. I need to replace them or they won't function pro-"

He yelped as a large hand ruffled his hair, looking up in surpise as Zeb walked by him towards the galley. "Um..." He shook his head and ran his oily hands quickly through his hair before focusing back on his job.

"Okay now keep still, while I loosen these...and yes that means you won't be able to move around, all motor functions are gonna stop when I pull these ou-"

He grunted as Sabine repeated Zeb's motion from earlier, glaring after her in confusion before focusing back, letting his hair stay ruffled as he worked. "Okay, I got them, I just need to-hey Hera." He kept his eyes on Chopper as the green Twi'lek knelt beside him before freezing as she pecked him gently on the temple before following the other two to the galley.

"...What is wrong with them today?" He whispered before focusing back on Chopper, carefully getting the wires set in correctly. "Okay...now let me oil these cogs here and you're ready to go Chopper." Ezra grinned a bit.

He however got a bit delayed as Kanan gave his hair a ruffle on the way to get some kaf and food.

"Okay I give up, what is UP with all of you today!" Ezra glared at them from his position on the floor next to Chopper, the mech warbling in annoyance at Ezra being held up so HE was held up.

"Nothing. We're just glad you're here Ezra." Hera smiled at him.

Ezra blinked at that, noting that none of the others were contradicting her.

He drew his shoulders up to his ears and hurriedly focused back on oiling those cogs for Chopper but couldn't quite hide the pleased flush crawling up his neck and cheeks or the slight smile on his face.

Blue eyes sparkled with contentness.

* * *

Author note: Hmm its starting to get very fluffy, I might have to do something about that.


	11. What ifs and perhaps (part 2)

Perhaps he had eaten a bit to much of the feast of am meal Hera had bought in for them, perhaps it was from not being exhausted enough or perhaps it was the Force. Whatever it was, it caused Ezra to dream deeply, curled up in his bunk.

He could be no more then seven, hiding out behind the trash cans close to his parents home as he had for a few days, watching it, hoping they would show up but deep down knowing he was not going to see them. He should find Tseebo, but last time he had been at the Rodian's house no one had answered and the house was dark.

And he didn't dare run of anywhere because the Imperials were being mean to everyone.

He was hungry though. He should be getting food but what if his parents came while he was away? And Ezra didn't have any money.

"Little one?" Ezra jerked, staring up at a tall surprised man who slowly knelt in front of him, the mans sweater a nice shade of green. He didn't scare Ezra though, unlike most strangers. His face was stern but his eyes were kind and a light green that seemed to shift to blue at how the light fell on them. "You shouldn't be here alone."

A dark skinned hand was offered to him along with a gentle smile. "How about we get you something to eat and a blanket?" Ezra blinked at him before slowly slipping his small hand into the much bigger one, tightening his grip on it as the man stood and started leading him through the dark crowds.

This man made him feel safe and Ezra wanted to feel safe.

In the world of the waking, Ezra rolled over and mumbled quietly as the dream changed.

He was nine, he was running errands for pawnshops and less reputable businesses but it still wasn't enough to make all ends meet, make sure he had food in his belly every night and a warm blanket to cover himself with.

He'd run headlong into a pair of legs, falling on his rear while staring up at the green skinned surprised woman who'd smile at him so gently then slowly bend down to him, offering her hands to him.

"You shouldn't be here alone...you know, I have a ship, it would have space for another crew mate." She was gentle as she drew her arms around him and picked him up, resting him on her hip like Ezra's mom used to do with him.

She was warm and comfortable, her arms holding him tightly to not lose hold. She was talking about her ship, her mech and her friend and how Ezra was going to fit right in with them, she was sure of that.

And Ezra believed her, as he was feed and cared for in a way he hadn't in for years. They'd show him a life he'd lost and suddenly regained again as he had people who cared again. Somewhere to be loved.

The dream changed again and Ezra was ten.

Hunger gnawed at his bones so hard he thought he was going to faint from the sheer intensity of it as he tried to pick out a target in the crowds just as he had been taught.

But once his target had been picked he had been to slow, a purple furred hand caught his wrist, annoyed but surprised eyes turning into gentle concern as the big Lasat knelt down in front of him, still holding the skinny wrist.

"Kit, where are your parents?" A careful question would be posed by the adult male and Ezra would shuffle, feeling on the verge of tears before yelping a bit as his stomach growled with need.

He was picked up and carried, blinking in shocked surprise as the Lasat stopped in front of a vendor and got a meat stick. The giant offered it to him and Ezra took it, eating hungerly as the man held protectively around him.

He'd be carried to a ship to meet the Lasat's friends and suddenly he had a home again, somewhere to belong.

A small frown grew on Ezra's face then eased out as his dream once again changed for the last time.

He was eleven and staring up at a colorful Mando girl who had just cut in when the Imperials had been harassing him again, the girl smiling to him while offering her hands to help him up, his own head tilted curiously and suspiciously before accepting the hands and smiling to her in return.

Yet despite the suspicions in his stomach he'd follow the girl who held his hand so tightly to the ship she lived on. Where he got taught to hold a blaster and then taught to be a better person.

To a place where he was accepted.

()()()

"It was just...kind of odd." Ezra settled on as he started eating the space waffle.

"Dreams aren't suppose to make sense Ezra." Sabine rolled her eyes while pouring some juice for herself.

"I know that but I don't usually dream past and present like that." The other teenager grumbled and took a big bite out of the fluffy waffle.

"Okay, I'll bite." Zeb waved his plate at Ezra before taking a huge bite out of his own. "What did you dream?"

Now Ezra got a tooka in speeders headlight look on his face, obviously not expecting to be asked exactly what he dreamed.

Beside Kanan, Hera lifted her head in interest, a curious smile on her lips as she watched Ezra. "Yes, if you consider it odd then I'm rather curious myself Ezra."

"I, errg...that is, I'm sure none of you really wanna hear about my dream. I mean it was just shifting between and it was just kind of weird and like Sabine said, dreams aren't suppose to make sense." He quickly pointed out.

"No but they reflect the things you think and experience. Dreams can be a way to process the things you while you're awake." Hera chuckled softly.

"Okay NOW I'm curious too." Zeb smirked at him.

"The Force can make it a bit different though." Kanan offered from where he was eyeing his kaf, wondering if he should put in some cream or something.

"Oh?" Everyone looked at him in surprise.

"Well...its still a way to process but...through the Force we can connect to the ones we are closest to. Sometimes their dreams influences ours and sometimes our dreams influences theirs." Kanan reached for the cream and added a splash to his kaf, sighing happily as it enhanced the flavor instead of making it bland.

"...Creeeeeepy." Ezra grumbled.

"Ezra! Don't say that! Its sweet." Hera beamed. "Now come on, tell us about your dream."

Now Ezra really didn't want to tell them. What if he had influenced their dreams?

"Its...I...okay I was dreaming about you guys." He squirmed a bit. "Not Chopper, sorry buddy but you appeared in it at least?" He offered the mech who warbled something before rocking on his stabilizers.

Kanan looked at Ezra, frowning a bit as the kid avoided looking at them.

"Just kind of...switching you know. And I was younger." Kanan almost dropped his mug, eyes widening up.

"I think I was seven? And Kanan showed up in my dream an-"

"And I took your hand and lead you through the crowds."

Ezra looked up in surprise, blue eyes wide and his tanned cheeks dusted with pink. "I...yeah. How did you..."

"You said the dream changed?" Kanan covered over the quiet, watching him closely.

Now Ezra was really hesitant. "...I...was older...I ran into a pair of legs and fell on my ass." He glanced at Hera to see her lips pulled into a small O before she smiled softly. "My legs." She finished for him.

"...You guys all have weird dreams if you dream of me as a kid." Ezra finally settled on grumpily before hesitantly glancing at Zeb who was doing his best impression of staring at the ceiling. "...I am not buying you a meat skewer." The Lasat finally said, gruff and embarrassed.

It was the only confirmation Ezra needed before glancing at Sabine and smiling just a tiny bit at the embarrassed looking Mandalorien.

"...You're all still WEIRD for dreaming about me as a kid." He repeated then focused back on his food.

"Or you're weird for dreaming it." Sabine shot back.

Kanan just smiled slightly.

The Force did work in mysterious ways.

* * *

Author note: This was suppose to just be a one thing but someone wanted Ezra responding to the dreams and I made up some junk about the Force haha, hey Jedi's themselves say the Force works in mysterious ways, who's to say it can't effect like this!


	12. Pulling forward

"Sithspit!" Ezra cursed, blinking stars out of his eyes as he was slammed into the wall of the ally he had been dragged into. A rough hand covered his mouth and Ezra stared in shock at the man in front of him.

Carl. Carl was there. Why was he...

Ezra struggled against the grip and the hands but couldn't get away from it as Carl's left arm dug into Ezra's chest as the older man was keeping him still, the other watching the alley to see if anyone had noticed the teen being pulled in as he had been.

Ezra growled and tried to yell only for Carl to remove his hand and backhand him hard, stars going a glow in his brain.

He could taste copper in his mouth and knew he was bleeding. The trader must have split his lip with the backhand.

"Shut up Ezra. If you know what's good for you, you'll be quiet." Carl hissed. "Do you have any idea the amount of trouble I got into because of our last meeting?" The man looked half mad. "Could have handled my friends ribbing me but when my boss found out how old you were..." He hissed in anger.

He had a pretty clear idea who had told his boss, those friends, of Ezra.

The smart mouthed teen was about to respond when Carl gripped him by the throat, keeping him against the wall. Ezra didn't dare reach for his lightsaber or use the Force as he glared at the man, feeling a trickle of blood go down his chin.

"He set me on probation, I'm on fucking probation Ezra. I'm not allowed to handle the trade station alone because apparently I'm a 'risk' now." He sneered before going for the zipper on the teens flight-suit.

Ezra hissed back at that, trying to escape the grasp only to have Carl tighten his hand around his throat, cutting of his air supply until black spots were in Ezra's eyes and he almost passed out.

The trader used that opportunity to get the flight-suit fully unzipped and of Ezra's shoulders along with the vest, letting it hit the ground while the vest slipped down to a narrow waist. He licked his lips at that, remembering last time he had the teen under him, squirming and whining.

"You are a fucking risk you disgusting stoopa." Ezra spat out, defiant despite Carl lifting his hand and repeating the backhand from earlier.

"Shut up!" Carl was going to be kind. Just for old times sake, but by now he was angrier then ever and he wanted to make this damn Loth-rat cry.

"No, you are disgusting! I was fucking ten!" Ezra rasped out as the other tightened his grip on his throat again.

"You were whoring yourself out." Carl replied as his hands went for Ezra's underwear. The moment those cold fingers touched hot skin Ezra slammed his knee into the others stomach, feeling something disgustingly slimy linger in his stomach at the others words.

"I was surviving!" Ezra pulled the flight-suit top half up, glaring at the man while he was pulling it on, ready to defend himself. He fought against Zeb often enough and Zeb was a lot bigger then the human in front of him.

"I was surviving and doing everything I could to!"

Yes, like a sewer rat." Carl snarled. "Only good you have going for you is that body. I'm going to enjoy making you cr-" A heavy dark hand came down on the brunettes shoulder.

"If you know what's best for you, you won't finish that sentence." Cold fury rolled through those words as Ezra felt his shoulders reluctantly relax at the sight of Kanan standing there. He finished zipping up his outfit quickly and watched Kanan first slammed his fist into the mans face then waved his hand in front of Carl's face. "You don't know anyone named Ezra."

"I don't know anyone named Ezra." Carl repeated in a monotone.

"You accidentally hit your face in a wall." Kanan added.

"I hit the wall accidentally."

"You are going to go back to your bed and re-think your life choices." Kanan said.

"I am going to go back to my bed and re-think my life choices I think." Carl started walking away.

The Jedi didn't want to, cold fury was still lingering in him as he watched the man walk away. He had to remind himself that Jedi's did not kill in rage before he turned to his padawan who was quickly picking up his vest, trying to shake dirt and litter out of it.

"Are you alright? You're bleeding." He stepped over, taking a forcibly calming breath through his nose.

"Yeah, just...dandy." Ezra swallowed before flinching as Kanan touched his shoulder. He hadn't meant to flinch but old instincts arose.

Kanan didn't say anything though as he carefully cupped Ezra's chin and looked at his lip. "He split it." He noted quietly, pulling a tissue from his pocket and quickly cleaning Ezra's chin before placing it against the split.

"He...backhanded me." Ezra admitted as Kanan held him still, still carefully dabbing at the fresh wound.

"You're going to bruise." The darker male sighed a bit before drawing Ezra against his chest, tucking him under his chin. "Okay, honestly, how do you feel? Need you to be open with me here Ezra because the bond is telling me you are not fine."

The blue eyed teen quieted down at that before sighing a bit. "I...I am fine, I mean...I know he's wrong. I know he's wrong for...for this, for what he did before. That kind of thing." He said quietly.

"But knowing and believing are different huh?" Kanan murmured. Ezra quietly nodded into his chest.

"I can't tell you how to start believing Ezra but he was wrong. Just keep that in mind." He sighed and rubbed the teens back slowly before pulling back a bit and tilting the teens head up, frowning at the way Ezra was swelling up and th-wait...wait a moment.

"Are those finger marks on your throat?" He tilted Ezra's head a bit further up and then to the sides, narrowing his eyes. He had half a mind to follow after Carl as he stared at them before Ezra covered his dark hand with one of his own tanned ones.

"...Can we just go to the Ghost?" He asked.

"I...yes, of course. You need to treat that lip and Hera has some balms that treats bruises." Kanan shook himself. "Hold the tissue against your lip, its still bleeding." He added, waiting for Ezra to cover the slowly soaking tissue with his own hand before he let go, sliding his arm around the teens shoulders instead while leading him out of the alley.

"...Is Hera going to be annoyed I didn't get the meilouron I promised her?" Ezra mumbled.

"Kid, at this point, she's going to fuss over you and tell me to track down the scumbag so she can re-arrange his face personally." Kanan squeezed Ezra's shoulder gently.

"...Sure you can't let it slip to her where he is?" He gave a half smile up at the other man.

"Don't tempt me kid. I'm this close to doing it myself and finishing the job I started." Kanan smirked down at him.

"...If you do, take me along, I wanna watch it."

"Kid, you worry me sometimes heh."

Ezra smiled, resting his head against Kanan's chest. "...Hey, how did you find me?"

"Bond." The older man grunted a bit, shrugging.

"Oh...huh. Getting a bit weird how you can find me."

"Hey, be grateful kid, with all the trouble you get yourself into Ezra."

"Hey, trouble finds me!"

"Suuure Ezra, sure."

* * *

Author note: Soo...yeah! Anyhow, someone asked me how I felt about Ezra/Kanan and honestly...I don't know? Ezra is rather young. And I know that Hera/Kanan is canon. If I were to write something like that, I'd have to make it AU and I CERTAINLY would have to ump Ezra's age a bit at least. I mean right now I'm quite happy to write family bonding honestly but if there's a interest then I might try.


	13. Kitty cat

The day didn't seem to weird to begin with.

Hera woke up first, getting some food and then going to the cockpit, chatting quietly with Chopper so not to wake the others, nothing unusual in that at all. Kanan woke next but spent some time trying to meditate before joining Zeb in getting grub for themselves. Sabine joined them not long after, hungry for fresh fruits but settling for some of the dehydrated rations that they had since it had been a while since their last supply pickup.

And then things turned weird as Ezra crawled on all fours into the common room, crawled onto the couch and curled up, mewling.

Zeb stared at him. "...Did...I hit my head?"

"Why, because Ezra just crawled in on all four and mewled at us? Because if you saw that then I did too." Sabine confirmed, almost dropping her plate.

Kanan frowned and moved to his padawan's side, touching Ezra's shoulder carefully. "Ezra?"

He got a grumpy mew in return and Ezra curling up more on the couch. The Jedi frowned then brushed his fingers over the others forehead. "He...has a slight fever? I...errg, I'm going to ask Hera what she thinks, you two, look after him." He straightened and hurried to the cockpit to talk to the Twi'lek.

Zeb's ears twitched a bit before moving over to the kid, kneeling down. "Ezra? You hungry?" He asked cautiously only for Ezra meow at him. "...Sabine?" He looked to the teenage girl, looking lost as he did.

"...We give him a bowl of milk?" She said, lips twitching, grinning more as Chopper came rolling. "Chopper, just the droid I wanted to see!" Her grin growing wider. "Tell me you're gonna record this." The mech beeped questionably only to whirl to Ezra as he mewled loudly.

Then he beeped and warbled excitedly.

"Ugh...Sabine, honestly he needs to eat." Zeb grumbled and poked at Ezra only to have his hand slapped at in what looked like Ezra was trying to make a claw with his hand. "He's skinny enough as it is."

That sobered Sabine up enough. "Well...we aren't really certain what's going on with him. We might wanna wait until Hera comes before we do anything." She came over and sat down on the couch, eyeing Ezra before gently petting his head.

That made the teenager purr. Actually purr.

"Do humans have the vocal cords to purr?" Zeb blinked. He hadn't noticed any of the others purring ever.

"Not really, if you listen you can tell he's forcing it, humans don't have the vocal cords at all to really purr like you do." Sabine continued petting him though, noting that Ezra needed a shower as his hair was getting a bit greasy.

"I don't purr." Zeb grumbled only for his grumble to be lost as Hera hurried in.

"Kanan said Ezra was acting wei-what is he doing?" Hera stared at him before moving to kneel beside Zeb, staring at Ezra.

"He's...purring?"

"He's also walking on all fours and each time he says something h-"

"Meow."

"Yeah that." Kanan stopped behind them.

"I can't reach him through the Force either. Whatever it is has left his shields up at least though I could try going through them..."

"That would hurt Ezra wouldn't it?" Hera gently stroked the teens cheek.

"Very, those shields exists for a reason." Kanan crossed his arms over his chest, frowning in worry. "Can you tell what's wrong with him?"

"I...I'm not sure honestly. My best guess right now would be the Force but from your expression that seems unlikely." She frowned and stood. "Perhaps I can find something on the holo-net?"

"Right now, any advice is better then nothing." The Jedi sighed before moving to the kitchen, getting something cooking.

"Um..."

"He needs to eat. If he's acting like a Loth-cat, we treat him like a Loth-cat until we know better." Kanan sighed a bit. "He still knows how to chew, we just need to feed him."

"Not doing it."

"Nope, not me. He's your padawan."

"I'd do it but someone needs to check the holo-net to see what we can do and I need to take a blood sample to see if there are any drugs in his system, I'm going to do that first once I've fetched a needle." Hera stroked the teens cheek gently then got up. "Chopper what are you doing?"

There was a series of whirls and beeps, Chopper waving a arm in the air.

"Oh, well I guess that could be useful if we had imagines to compare to symptoms..." She gave him a suspicious look before heading to the medbay.

Kanan sighed and continued cooking until he had a meal made of finely chopped up meat in sauce with rehydrated vegetables mixed in. He was hoping he could get Ezra to eat this at least as he wasn't sure he could get a 'cat' to eat space waffles, cereal or meal bars.

He moved to the couch, noticing that Chopper was, uncharacteristically, silently recording everything. Sabine had moved to her usual spot to polish and re-color her armor while Zeb was lazing in his chair, watching Ezra in mix of amusement and worry.

The young padawan himself was just curled up on the couch though he perked like a curious Loth-cat when Kanan came over with the bowl and sat down on the couch. That got a smile out of Kanan as he ruffled Ezra's hair carefully. "Okay Ezra, lets see if you won't eat this..." He took the spoon and tried feeding him.

Ezra blinked and sniffed at it before eating the sauced up food from the spoon Kanan was offering him. He did try to put his face in the bowl after a bit but Kanan managed to keep him from it, not wanting to clean the teen up if he could help it, reduce the amount of embarrassment Ezra was sure to feel later once he didn't think he was a cat.

Hera came in just before Ezra finished the bowl with a syringe in her hands. "Kanan, can you keep him distracted? For a blood sample I mean?" She frowned, not wanting to upset the feline acting teen.

Last thing they wanted was for Ezra to panic and go into the vents in this state of mind.

"I can try." Kanan set the mostly empty bowl on the table and then gently started petting Ezra, trying not to be surprised when the teen crawled into his lap with his upper body and flopped his head against Ezra's stomach, peering up at him with half lidded eyes.

"Hey there Ezra..." He murmured quietly, starting to run his fingers through the others hair instead, watching blue eyes close up as the teen relaxed against him. Hera sat down slowly on one side and drew Ezra's arm from him, petting it when a cranky blue eye opened to look at her.

They waited until the eyes closed again before Hera took the blood sample, Kanan having to hold the trashing kid against him as he hissed unhappily at having his blood drawn by the pilot before she quickly finished and pulled the syringe back, not wanting it to break and to have to repeat the proceeding.

She quickly put a bandage on the lightly bleeding area and nodded to Kanan while stepping back, the man letting Ezra go.

The teen murred rebelliously at them before basically rolling of the couch and crawling away into a corner where he curled up, still murring as he snuggled up and stayed there, clearly awake but ignoring them.

"...I gotta admit, I kind of like him like this, he's quieter and not complaining." Zeb sniggered softly only to shut up when the others looked at him in a unimpressed manner.

"Zeb, we have no idea what's going on with him." Hera pointed out sensibly. "For all we know he has a brain parasite." She headed to the medbay back to get the blood sample analyzed.

"...Its not a brain parasite is it?" Zeb asked hesitantly. "I mean he just smells kind of sick. Not...well... I don't know what a brain parasite smells like but I imagine it would smell worse?"

"I don't know Zeb. He's not acting like normal that's for sure." Kanan sighed and buried his face in his hands. "But from what the Force is telling me, he doesn't seem to be to sick, just...addled I guess." He scrubbed his face only to look up in surprise at a poke at his knees.

Ezra was in front of him, having moved from the corner he had sulked of to. But he was looking up at Kanan with concern in his blue eyes, mewling up at him. Kanan forced a smile on and reached out, pulling the teen up on the couch again and into his lap, holding around him. "Its alright, you're gonna be alright." He said, more to assure himself and the others then Ezra who just snuggled against his chest.

"Okay, the good news is that I know what's wrong with Ezra. The bad news is that we can't just remove it from his systems, it has to go naturally." Hera said while coming back, frowning a bit

"Well what is it?" Sabine asked, sitting up.

"Its from the gas plant we were on, the one where we were SUPPOSE to be wearing our masks the whole time." The Twi'lek shot Ezra a annoyed glance before sighing and smiling. "He must have taken it of and breathed in some of the fumes. The chemicals go to the brain and...well scrambles the signals a bit. I contacted the plant foreman and he said that Ezra's behavior isn't that unusual for people exposed to the fumes."

"So its normal that they act like cats?" Zeb raised his eyebrows.

"Not exactly but that they act like animals, yes. Or sometimes regress to a child state. I don't know what I'd prefer but at least he's not being to much trouble?" Hera sighed then smiled as Ezra craned his neck and meowed at her. "Yes, yes, you silly thing. As it is the fumes are gonna need to ruin its course and that's going to take everything from three to six hours."

"Why can't it be removed from his systems though?" Sabine tilted her head curiously, Zeb mimicking her with questioning eyes.

"Well the fumes messes with the brain, if we were to just remove it it could do damage to the brain functions."

They all contemplated that as Ezra nuzzled Kanan's shoulder, giving a low purr.

"Then we wait. He's just laying here for the most part and seems content to be petted." Kanan settled on, rubbing the teens back slowly.

"...So he's basically just hooped up on fumes right?" Zeb asked.

"Well yes."

"...So we can TOTALLY hold this against him and tease him right?" A grin was growing on his face as he gestured to where Chopper was still recording.

Hera tried to remain stern but her twitching lips blew her cover. "...Just don't rib him to much and not until he's had a full rest." She settled on before going to pilot the Ghost, giggling a tiny bit as she slipped out.

Zeb rubbed his hands together, grinning. "Oh this is going to be FUN." Both Sabine and him traded looks of equal glee.

Kanan just rolled his eyes and tucked Ezra against himself, smiling a bit at the grumbled murring coming from the teen. "Perhaps you wanna stay the kitty cat for a while longer huh?" He teased lightly, smile softening up as Ezra peered at him with those gem clear eyes.

* * *

Author note: ...I was tipsy when I started writing this. And now its to hilarious to just delete. Enjoy


	14. Kitty cat (part 2)

Fingers were carefully twirling through his hair and he felt like he was laying against a soft warm pillow that provided all the comfort he'd ever need.

It felt nice.

It felt safe really and Ezra just burrowed against the heat, letting out a quiet sigh of relief and pleasure.

However the fingers in his hair stilled to his discomfort and a careful hand tried to tilt his head up. "Ezra? You back with us?"

The young padawan just grumbled and kept his eyes shut tightly. "No...sleep." He mumbled.

"You've been sleeping for quite some time now. I think you should open your eyes." The tone was amused and the pillow rumbled under him.

Wait, pillows don't move like that...

Ezra slowly forced his eyes open to stare at the green fabric in front of him before slowly looking up at his amused looking Master, Kanan Jarrus. "...What's going on?" He blinked a bit, not pushing away from Kanan. He felt to heavy to even attempt it.

"You, acting like a Loth-cat!"

Ezra almost groaned, raising his hands to cover his ears at Zeb's yell before he realized what the other said. "I what? What are you talking about?" He let his hands drop down on Kanan's chest, staring at the big grinning Lasat.

"You, acting like a fuzzy cute cat who just wanted petting's. Kanan feed you and Hera and Sabine petted you!" He laughed, not admitting that he too had petted the kid.

"...You're yanking my saber." Ezra scowled at him, pushing himself up carefully, feeling groggy and heavy.

"Nope. You even tried to purr, or well you did something similar to purring when we petted you." Sabine grinned at him.

"I don't believe either of you." The blue eyed human crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at both of them.

"Well you might not want to but Chopper has recordings of you." Kanan chuckled quietly. "We told you to keep the breathing mask on at the gas plant Ezra. There was a reason we weren't suppose to breath in the air there."

"I...my mask slipped. It wasn't tight enough." Ezra mumbled. "I had to fix it while there and I only took a few breaths?" He winched a bit, rubbing his own head. "...Did I REALLY act like a cat?" He looked at them in bemusement.

"Chopper if you please?" Sabine squirmed in glee as Chopper projected a holo of Ezra, crawling on all fours to Zeb. Zeb seemed to look around before gently rubbing Ezra's head, grinning a bit when the feline acting teen started to purr.

"Oi! You said you didn't get that!" Zeb almost dropped his bo-rifle in surprise as Chopper warbled in amusement. "Why you rustbucket!"

"Aww look at you, you do care about him." Sabine teased though blinked when holo Zeb actually carefully picked holo Ezra up and settled in his chair, holding him close and gently running his fingers through the others hair, teasing soft strands that were so black they looked blue in the light. Zeb just grumbled and looked away, his ears twitching in his embarrassment.

Chopper warbled again and changed out the holo to Sabine using a stick with string tied to it, teasing Ezra, holo Sabine sniggered then yelped as holo Ezra pounced on her, rubbing his cheek against her shoulder while purring and mewling happily. Ezra covered his face with his hands, peeking through his fingers with wide horrified eyes, his face the deepest shade of red.

"You're sadistic Chopper." He choked out. "Couldn't you have erased this!?" He squeaked as he actually rubbed himself up against Sabine's chest!

"I was this close to hitting you right there." Sabine smirked at Ezra as a holo Hera appeared and gently drew holo Ezra of the other teen, kneeling to gently feed him something out of a bowl. And then holo Ezra promptly stuck his head in the bowl. Holo Hera looked a mix of amusement and exasperated before she left the holo only to return moments after with a cloth in her hands.

Ezra moaned in dismay as she cleaned his face, talking to softly to holo Ezra for Chopper to catch it.

"I wish you did! That would be better!" He squeaked loudly. "At least I'd be passed out until the fumes left my systems! Oh by the first light, what am I doing!" He asked no one in particular.

Kanan moved into the holo and told the girls he could watch Ezra for a while, settling down beside the teenager and smiling a bit. "...Weird you quiet you are." Holo Kanan said while stroking the teens head, letting holo Ezra settle his upper body in his lap.

"I don't think I quite like it. Think I prefer you talking." He chuckled when holo Ezra mewed at him. "Okay, that might count as talking but not in the way I want..." It went quiet a bit as Kanan continued slowly carding his fingers through soft hair.

Ezra almost thought his embarrassment would be over when Kanan spoke up again. "If this is how you acted as a kid, you must have been one hell of a cute one heh, especially with those big eyes." Holo Ezra seemed to agree as he meowed loudly at him as holo Kanan rubbed along his spine.

"...Oh just kill me now." Ezra buried his face in his knees, groaning loudly as Kanan patted him on the back, the Jedi chuckling a bit in embarrassment from Chopper having caught that. But not as embarrassed as the teenager he was patting.

"Well." Hera grinned at them, crossing her arms over her chest as her lekku's swung behind her. "I did get you a gift though Ezra."

Looking up suspiciously, Ezra zeroed in on what Hera was holding in her hand and promptly yelped, throwing a empty bottle at the Twi'lek as both Sabine and Zeb roared in amusement with Chopper joining them with his own warbles.

It was a blue cat collar.

* * *

Author note: Someone requested a sequel and I, ever the humble author, aim to please ahahaha, have a good one!


	15. Kitty cat (part 3)

"I'm starting to think you like being captured." Agent Kallus stared at the blindfolded teen strapped to the chair in front of him in the office.

"Oh right, yes, rebel scum does like that. I'm here for your charming looks, curse this blindfold." Ezra grumbled. "You know it wasn't exactly in the plans to actually FALL into a group of stormtroopers." He sulked. He would have been fine hadn't one of them actually recognized him from the posters.

"So you say." Kallus snorted in return before starting to examine the contents of what they had taken from the teen. Com's unit, the lightsaber, some credits and a...huh.

"A cat collar?" He asked no one in particular, puzzled. He noted a sudden flush in the teens cheeks though and raised a blond eyebrow in surprise. He returned his eyes to the collar and noted a data chip connected to the inside of it. "And a chip...my what a way to hide intel, I had no idea Rebels kept pets." He drawled.

Ezra wanted to groan. "Its not intel, its...private." He managed to get out, swearing he was going to turn into a tomato at the speed he was feeling blood raise to his face.

"Hmm, we'll see about that." The imperial agent snorted.

"Wait, you're gonna WATCH it!?" Ezra squeaked, though if asked about it, he'd say it was a manly yelp. Not a squeak.

"Now I'm gonna watch it just because you don't want me to." Kallus snorted and inserted the chip into his datapad.

"Oh karabast..." Ezra thumped his head back against the chair. He had hid the stupid chip in the cat collar and kept it for a reason! So none of the others could continue playing it!

"Now lets se-" There was a meow, a loud one.

There was some stunned silence then Ezra started thumping the back of his head against the back of the chair, noting absently the squeak of the clone guards armor at the door as they craned to look at what Kallus had, obviously curious.

"...Why are you crawling around on all four mewing like a Loth-cat?" Kallu's voice sounded strained to Ezra's ears.

"...Please turn it off?" Ezra offered instead.

There was another loud mewl and then he heard Zeb. "No, Ezra, kid don-ack! I swear if you weren't addled I'd crush you...urrgh...gonna have to wash that out of my fur for weeks, you were suppose to EAT it."

Ezra groaned loudly. "For Force sake turn it of agent muttonchop!"

He heard a slight snigger. "No, no I think...I think I'm gonna make a copy of this." Kallus sounded much to gleeful for Ezra's comfort.

"...I hate you so much. So very very very VERY much right now." Ezra sulked. "I only just managed to get that chip from the stupid rustbucket!" He sulked even harder, he refused to say he was pouting. He was NOT pouting in front of a imperial agent.

He heard another mewl and a purring noise and then sniggering coming from behind him.

"Oi! Shut up bucket heads!" He yelled only to get even more sniggering.

He grumbled loudly then muttered to himself as there was more mewling and purring from the data Kallus was watching. 'Sabine if there was ever a time for you all to have done your mission its NOW!'

As if the woman had heard him, sirens flared in the office.

"Sir! There's a break-in at the armory!" Someone shouted, a Stormtrooper.

Kallus cursed then there was a squeak of a chair as he got to his feet. "You two, watch the boy. I'll be back." Ezra listened to the feet running away, hearing the click of weapons being pointed at him. "...You guys really think I can do something right now?" He asked dryly.

"You're a Jedi apprentice." Was the only answer he got and Ezra rolled his eyes behind the blindfold.

"Yeah, well, its not me you gotta worry about." He smirked, feeling something behind the door behind him and them. "Its him you gotta worry about." The door hissed open and he heard a strangled yelp before two thumps hit opposite walls.

And then someone was pulling the blindfold of him and Ezra saw green instead of the grey darkness of the blindfold. "About time you guys showed up!" He huffed as Kanan worked on the straps keeping him to the chair.

"Well, it took a bit longer to get the intel then we thought. Sabine had to crawl through a few vents."

"Told you, you should have sent me." The teenager shook his head.

"Well Sabine was right that Kallus was less likely to kill you. He sent for the Inquisitor but the message never left the base curtosy of our murder bot." Kanan smirked as he straighened.

"I can't blieve you call him a murder bot." Ezra snorted before hurridly grabbing his things of Kallus desk.

"I call it as I see it. Hera's the only one who can control Chopper." Kanan was about to leave when he saw Ezra quickly move around the desk and grab Kallus datapad. "What are you doing?"

"...Kallus found the datachip of me on fumes and I wanna make sure he didn't actually make a copy of it."

"Wait, YOU have the chip? I had wondered where it went. Chopper said he didn't know. "

"I bribed him to give me it and say he didn't know." Ezra confessed, taking the cat collar and slipping the chip into it again before tucking it on his belt. "Zeb and Sabine wouldn't stop playing it and it...errg...its embarrassing." He moved to Kanan's side.

"Zeb can take it a bit far." Kanan mused before smirking. "And I can't believe you kept the collar Hera bought. You going to wear it?"

"...Kanan, shut up."

"Heeeh."

* * *

Author note: And by populare demand, I made a third one...and by populare I mean one person asked for another chapter but this is the last one haha.


	16. Rely on

He had gotten used to it.

To his three rules of survival.

To having no one.

Relying on no one.

Trusting no one.

It was easier that way, it was less likely for someone to hurt you or betray you if you didn't let them close in the first place.

No one helped anyone out just for nothing. People didn't help someone just because they could. Not on the street.

Ezra had taken that lesson to heart and kept it on his sleeves as he struggled to survive through the Empire rise in their strength and them overtaking Lothal as he was alone, his parents long gone to never be seen in living flesh by Ezra again.

He had learned the lessons, some by watching and some by experiencing, just how cruel the world was to a child alone.

And then he meet them.

They gave from themselves without wanting something in return. If you were the weak one, the subjugated one or the hurt one, they helped you without asking for payment though they wouldn't say no to new allies and a meal if that was offered.

Until the day Ezra meet the Ghost crew, he had forgotten what that feeling felt like.

Forgotten the lessons his parents had taught him.

Help those who could not help themselves.

When Kanan had found out that there was a potential Jedi master alive and had wanted her to teach Ezra...Ezra felt the coldness that had started to build in his bones creep right back in and reminded himself of the rules.

But each time he glanced at Kanan he felt the cold sting of betrayal and he wondered, not for the first time, if he had done right in accepting the offer of training and coming along. Not when the other was so quick to try and foist him of on someone else.

He'd never admit it, but he spent the night in his bunk trying not to cry. What place did tears have in a world so cold, it only brought a nasty headache and a hot face to cry. Tears didn't bring back his parents, didn't put food in his belly and didn't make people treat you kindly.

And then Kanan had finally explained himself. And the cold receded back to where the Ghost crew had chased it in the beginning, carefully leaving Ezra warm again as he held Kanan's lightsaber in hand.

Slowly he started to feel at home among them, feel cared for, warm.

He also noticed he put on some weight one day and spent half the day prodding at his own stomach, blinking a bit as he did.

Of course Hera caught him in the act when he had pulled his sleeping t-shirt up a bit to peer at the slight stomach roll he had when he'd gone to the galley while he thought the others were asleep. "You alright Ezra?" She peeked curiously at him as he yelped and dragged his shirt down, looking embarrassed as he stared at her in the dim light of the galley. "Y-Yes, I was just...I went to get some milk?" He tried.

Hera raised her eyebrows slowly, staring at him. "...Want to try that again?" She offered kindly, stepping over to him.

The human teen shuffled a bit in front of her. "I...I just...promise you won't laugh at me?" He glanced at her, still looking suspicious when she nodded.

Ezra drew a deep breath, crossing his arms over his chest. "I just...noticed...that I have a stomach roll... that's all. Its...I just got surprised, I haven't had that for a few years." He mumbled defensibly.

The Twi'lek's lekku's twitched at that and she stared at the teenager in front of her in surprise. Then sadness. She knew Ezra had been alone for a long period, been used to relying on his own self and perhaps not having enough to eat. But for him to grow a stomach roll out of eating regularly...

"How about I make you some hot chocolate?" She offered gently, smiling at the surprised look on the teens face before he smiled, nodding eagerly. "With cinnamon in it?"

"Sure, with some cinnamon."

If she made sure that Ezra had a extra serving and snacks after that...well no one said a word about it.

When Kanan had talked to him about going undercover, he had been excited, a proper mission with everyone trusting him, the warmth running through him like a wildfire!

And then he realized just how bad it could backfire. He hid out in the gun with a datapad on his lap during the night. Until he had been seven, his mother had been home schooling him...but after no one had bothered to teach a orphanage to read or write and Ezra hadn't seen why he should learn, he understood symbols enough to know what shop was what.

"The...ba-be-batal...battle..." He took a deep breath, rubbing his face before focusing again, Kanan did say he had a focusing problem and that was bluntly apparent right now.

"The...battle...field strw...strag...stragt-"

"Ezra?" He almost threw the datapad at Sabine's face in shocked fear, squeaking loudly as he did. "Sabine! I...um...this isn't what it looks like?" He tried only for the Mandelorian to give him a long look. "...You can't read, can you?" She settled on.

"...I can...kind of...I mean..." Ezra sighed and looked down at the pad. "...No. I understand the letters and symbols but...no." He confessed quietly. "...If a word is longer then five letters its...difficult."

"...You're going undercover at a academy Ezra. This...isn't good."

"I know. I should have said something but...until now reading hasn't been important. Hasn't been something I needed." He shrugged, glancing at Sabine.

"...Well, I guess its time someone taught you fully then." Sabine shifted, settling on the arm of the seat. "Well?"

He stared up at her with wide blue eyes. "...You're gonna help me?"

"Mhmm, now, lets get started."

He stared at her before smiling slightly, nodding quickly as he settled in to try and read for the older teen and spent two hours every night for a week, reading for her to improve. Sabine helped him, getting Ezra up to par with what she knew he needed for the academy. She wondered why no one had taken in Ezra, he was annoying sure but...he wasn't a bad kid.

Ezra didn't know either but he had gotten used to no one caring for him. He was fine. He always was.

Even when he wasn't fine, he was fine.

He flailed out of his bunk and hit the floor, feeling his nose crash first into the durasteel under him and the spikes of pain going through his brain, cursing brokenly as he sat up, eyes watering as he covered his bleeding nose, reluctantly feeling glad that Zeb had gone out with Sabine for a supply run.

He looked up at the blurry shape of Chopper and suddenly felt less lucky though as he groaned, blood dripping from his nose as he tried to cover it up. There was a surprised warble, Chopper waving his mechanical arms around before he rolled away only to return moments later with...a tissue box?

"...Is dat for ma?" Ezra managed to get out, slowly taking the tissue box from Chopper as the astromech warbled at him. "Dank you?" He carefully covered his nose with tissues. The mech warbled again and Ezra shook his head. "No, I am nod going do 'era."

The bot made a grumbling annoyed beeping then rolled of quickly. "Kopper!" Ezra scrambled to get up and catch the mech.

"Ezra what is Choppe-Ezra!" That lead to a lot of fussing that Ezra honestly could have done without but...at the same time...Chopper, the grumpy mean astrodroid hadn't been mean. He had gone to Hera because Ezra had been bleeding and Hera had been kind enough to keep it a secret between the three as she tended to his nose in quiet peace.

Though Kanan had been a bit confused about the swollen state of Ezra's nose.

It was still not easy for Ezra to let down his guard, to connect to another living as Kanan tried to instruct him, his arms always up and around himself at the slightest mention of making the connection even to a tooka.

Much less another sentient being capable of complex emotions.

For them to know that Ezra's family had been taken because of their broadcasts...

Ezra wasn't sure what to feel about it. He was proud of his parents of course but at the same time he wondered what would be different if they hadn't. Would he had been safe, warm, well feed? Would he have fought for those who couldn't earlier?

He didn't know. What did that kind of thinking matter honestly.

And he didn't really appreciate Kanan trying to teach him Jedi lessons through survival, the fear curling in his bones as he tried to connect to the light shy creatures that had almost eaten Hera and Sabine.

Yet...as he admitted what scared him, he started settle again, feeling...something develop between himself and Kanan as they stood there, the light shy creatures no longer ferally growling at them, wanting to devour their flesh.

It had shut down when he had summoned the big creature, something cold and slimy settling inside him instead. It stayed with him as they got on the ship, even after Sabine showed him the image of his parents and him.

It caused him no amount of restless unease that brought him in front of Kanan's cabin.

"Ezra? You can come in." He shifted in surprise then slowly pressed the button to step in, seeing Kanan on his knees, meditating. "I...I'm sorry, I didn't want to bother you." He murmured quietly, licking his lips.

"I was awake. It wasn't a bother." Kanan had yet to open his eyes though.

The teen shifted slowly, unsure what to say or do.

"...Sit down with me Ezra." Kanan murmured.

"I...here?" Ezra hesitated before doing as Kanan asked. "...Now what?"

"Now you breath."

"...What?"

"You breath. In through the nose...out through the mouth...slow...and steady. You don't think, nothing matters but your breathing." The Jedi murmured, keeping his eyes closed but keeping a good eye on Ezra through the Force.

He could feel a wavering uncertainty before Ezra did as told, his breathing falling into synch with Kanan's after a few moments. He could tell that Ezra wasn't connecting to the Force but...he was connecting to himself, trying to work around what he had done and experienced.

That got a small smile out of him. 'Well...at least he's trying. He may still become a Jedi.'

"...Kanan, my foot is asleep."

That got a laugh out of him, startled and he quickly covered his mouth. "I think...that's enough, you should go to bed."

Ezra grumbled but when he got up to go to his own cabin shared with Zeb...he no longer felt as cold or slimy. This, whatever it had been, had helped.

He blinked then smiled a bit, glancing back where Kanan was still kneeling. "...Thank you Master." He slid of to his bunk.

Yet when he tried to build his lightsaber...well it was a lesson in frustration, that was something. He wanted this lightsaber to fit him but the more he worked on it during the weeks, the more annoyed he got.

He started shutting himself in while working and leaving only when he needed the fresher, food or to clean his clothes. He even slept in the work room!

Zeb watched him come to the galley one of the nights, dark rings around Ezra's eyes as he stumbled into the kitchen. "Kid, you look like crap."

"Mmmn, lightsaber is taking its time."

"You need to sleep." The Lasat grumbled, watching Ezra awkwardly shuffle by before reaching out and grabbing him by the arm, pulling the sluggish teen into his lap. "Wow! Zeb!?"

"IF you aren't going to go to sleep, you're gonna stay here UNTIL you are asleep. Got it?" The other grunted, pulling Ezra until he was all up in the chair with Zeb, resting against the big Lasat's chest. He then tugged the blanket around the kid and held him firmly in case he put up a struggle.

Yet, Ezra wasn't struggling, suddenly feeling to comfortable to move. "I...need to finish the lightsaber though?" He mumbled against the warm chest. Offhandedly he noted that Lasat's were warmer then humans. It felt nice though as he unconsciously snuggled a bit closer, resting his heavy head against it.

"I think the lightsaber can wait a day or two for you to catch up on your sleep." Zeb rumbled, watching Ezra. "...Why's it so important you get it done NOW anyhow?"

He almost didn't think he'd get a answer when Ezra spoke up, already half gone. "Because I need to help you all...because you help those who can't help themselves..."

"Kid?" Zeb blinked, cocking his head back to look at him, watching the closed eyes and the fluttering eyelashes. "...Heh...guess you do have a good heart in there after all."

He carefully cradled the sleeping teen close, letting him sleep right where he was.

When Ezra woke, he was in his bunk, curled up on his side with a blanket wrapped securely around himself.

For once, in eight long years...Ezra had several he could rely on.

He smiled and rolled onto his side, falling back asleep with a small, content sigh.

* * *

Author note: Oh look, someone finally managed to watch the other episodes! Well, I've gotten to A Idiots array, but I really need a rest right now. I lost a contact lense, so I'm half blind while writing, has been for the last few days and now I also have a headach. Anyhow, enjoy!


	17. On a cold moon

Being chased by first Imperials, then a group of pirates, then Imperials then PIRATES again before finally stealing one of the pirate shuttle ships before escaping with them hot on his and Chopper's tail was not the start of a good day. Of course the shuttle they had stolen was only half repaired from whatever skirmish the pirates had bought it into. That was seriously not what Ezra considered a good start of the day.

Nor did his bleeding head from where one of the pirates had pistol whipped him hard count as a good day. He might have a concussion, perhaps. Hmm bit hard to tell.

His day only got 'better' when he miscalculated the hyperdrive and ended up in a screaming track, going straight towards a planet he wasn't quite sure what was called. "Chopper! Tell me you got a message of to Hera or got the damn communication relay fixed!" He yelled, trying to smooth the trajectory they were forced into thanks to the gravitation of the planet.

There was loud warbling and then Hera's frantic tones rung through the shuttle. "-ra! Ezra can you hear me! Chopper!?"

"Hera! Boy am I glad to hear you!" He laughed shakily before slamming down on a button, cursing as the dashboard just sparked at him, he was sure he had been zapped several times already by the damn thing. "I'm in a bit of a pickle here and I could REALLY use the Ghost to come pick me and Chop up."

"Ezra where are you? You haven't reported in for eleven hours!"

"In a shuttle that's going to crash on a planet that looks very cold from what I can t-ack! And this shuttle isn't in the best of states. Chopper! The steering isn't functioning properly anymore!" Ezra pulled on the controller, ignoring how it was zapping his hands.

"Ezra send us your coordinates." Kanan's voice was on the coms, forcibly calm as they listened to Ezra's cursing and the sparking of electronic equipment.

"Chopper! You heard him, send it, I can-shit! This shuttle is going DOWN. I didn't wanna die like this!" Ezra yelped.

"Ezra you're not going to die! Hera?"

"I...I got them! They're on...they're in the system two clicks over, plummeting towards Na'cto? Ezra! How did you two get there?"

Ezra couldn't answer that though, not when all power in the shuttle abandoned the steering and motor and they dropped like a stone towards the ground. "We're going DOWN!"

He barely had time to throw himself out of the chair and at Chopper, wrapping himself around the droid before Ezra vision bloomed white then faded to black.

()()()()

"Ezra? Ezra!?" Hera fiddled with the machinery of the Ghost to try and capture the signal again, frowning in worry before looking sharply up at Kanan, seeing him hold his hand out towards the windows of the Ghost, eyes closed.

"We heard yelling, wha-aum..." Zeb blinked at Kanan, glancing at Hera's anxious face then back at the Jedi as Sabine peered around him at them.

"...He's still alive. Just passed out. His Force signature feels faint though." Kanan looked at Hera. "We need to go now."

"I know, Na'cto is a frozen moon, it will take us six hours to get there though." The Pilot started flipping switches and pushing buttons, holding onto her emotions.

"...What's going on?" Sabine asked cautiously.

"Ezra crashed on a moon two systems over in a failing shuttle. He has Chopper." She said shortly.

Zeb sat down heavily. "Does he have any other supplies?" He asked grimly, knowing better to ask how. Ezra always managed to get himself into problems some way or another, usually they were around to help though but not this time.

"I don't know, he didn't really have time to do anything but to have Chopper send the coordinates as he tried to control the shuttle. As you noticed, it didn't go so well." Hera's lips were pulled thin as Kanan sat down slowly, still reaching out through the Force to assure himself. Last thing they needed was for panic to set in.

"I guess that means we don't know if he was injured?" Sabine asked softly.

"...No but this is Ezra we're talking about. And he just crashed in a shuttle. If he wasn't before, we can assume he is now."

"We could be optimistic? Kids been through tougher scrapes?" Zeb looked hopefully before Sabine gave him a long look, raising her eyebrow but not saying anything.

"...Just trying to ease the worry. He gets into enough trouble as it is." He grumbled and sat back, fingers itching to go hit some bucketheads if only to work out his anxiousness.

()()()()

He came back to loud warbling in his ears and someone poking his shoulders with a thin metal obj-wait...

"Chopper?" He asked quietly, coughing a bit and groaning in pain as he forced his eyes open, feeling a dry stickyness trying to keep his left eye shut as he focused blurry eyes on the bot who gave a whooping noise in relief.

"Wha...oh, its cold..." Ezra shuddered, slowly letting go of the droid as he looked around, his head pounding worse then ever. "...I don't think this thing is going to transmit anymore...I hope Hera and Kanan got the coordinates." He struggled to get up, shaking a bit while wrapping his arm around his tender ribs.

"Should we...leave?" He looked at Chopper who beeped loudly, the dome twirling around as he flailed his arms around.

"Shh, shh, I get it, stay here and wait for the others...its not like its sparking anymore..." Ezra sat slowly down on the floor beside Chopper, dropping his head back against the durasteel walls and taking a slow breath, trying to figure out what hurt.

Only to be interrupted by Chopper beeping at him.

"Oi, hey, Chopper, I already have a headache, don't do that right next to my ear." Ezra groaned, looking at the astromech.

Chopper warbled at him in binary.

"...I shouldn't close my eyes?"

Another warbling string of words.

"...I guess...its kind of hard to keep my eyes open though Chopper. I don't intend to fall asleep." Ezra rubbed his face a bit, grimacing as both sticky and dried blood came away to coat his glove.

"...Guess you have a point." He wrapped his arms around himself, shivering a bit as Chopper leaned against him. "Heh, sorry to say but you aren't exactly warm...appreciate the sentiment though Chopper." He smiled a bit. "Now if you were hairy like Zeb, it might workout...but then you'd smell. So its a win-lose situation anyhow."

There was a warbling noise like laughter then Chopper started rolling around, poking around until he came away with a emergency thermal blanket.

"Huh, now that would work a bit." He accepted it from Chopper's thin mechanical arms and carefully wrapped it around himself but still leaned against the other when he settled against Ezra's side, the teen's breath fogging the air in front of him.

There was a warbled noise.

"...No Chopper, I don't want to play I spy. There's not really a lot to spy in here."

The mech warbled again.

"...Yeah, alright, I can play 20 questions. You start."

* * *

Author note: Still making my way through star wars episodes, but I'm closing in on the next season haha. I got a few ideas by now


	18. On a cold moon (part 2)

The thermal blanket had done its job, to start with.

But as night started to cover the moon, the temperature dropped sharply and Ezra was starting to shiver, shifting closer to Chopper despite the droid being made of metals. It made him feel better to have company at the very least instead of being alone in the downed shuttle.

He squeaked a bit when Chopper prodded him hard in the shoulder.

"Wha'?" He slurred.

Chopper warbled, slower then usually.

"...Oh...sorry. I can't...keep my eyes open Chopper. Its so hard to keep them open." He swallowed heavily past the lump in his throat. "And its so cold..." Chopper warbled angerly at him.

"...Kind of hard not to be cold when I'm made of flesh and bone Chop. I can't quite feel my toes and fingers either. Or my nose now that I'm thinking about it." Chopper started a tirade to quick for Ezra's pounding head to follow. Then it softened to quieter beeping.

"I don't know Chopper. Trying to keep warm here and keep awake is getting kind of hard. They might come soon though? Don't worry to much, they'll find you." He tried to cheer the bot up only for him to hit Ezra in the shoulder with his thin metal arm.

"Oooow, that hurt." He settled his forehead against Chopper's orange dome, closing his eyes. "...Sorry Chopper...don't think I can keep awake for much longer...ow...ow...ow...stop poking me please." He murmured as Chopper continued then he yelped a bit as Chopper pinched his thigh. "And please don't pinch me either...geeze.'

He still didn't open his eyes.

Chopper's warbling turned begging.

"Aww...you do care." The padawan teased lightly, smiling slightly.

There was a long whistling tune.

"...Yeah, I'm glad I meet you too Chopper, even if you zap us and tend to be a grump." Ezra shivered slightly, tugging the blanket around himself a bit harder. "...Chop?"

A soft warbling noise.

"...I'm glad I meet all of you. I'm glad I got a family again...I'm so glad...that you all cared. Glad someone cared for me. I'm glad someone wanted to be my family again..." Ezra slumped against Chopper, his breathing shallow in the cold shuttle, echoing in the empty space the two shared.

The astromech warbled but got no response, his volume rising to an unbearable pitch yet the teen against him didn't move at all.

That wasn't good at all. Chopper was quite clear that Ezra not moving was not good at ALL.

()()()()

"Here, this is the moon. Sabine, can you get into contact with Chopper or Ezra?" Hera focused on following the coordinates they had for the shuttle, hoping they could get in touch with the astromech.

"I can try, there's a storm down there, so the signals might get scrambled." Sabine murmured, glancing to see how Kanan was feeling, the Jedi still having his eyes closed as he felt out Ezra.

"Chopper? Ezra?" She tried.

There was instant warbling in the com, loud, angry and terrified if that was something that could apply to warbling. "I-slow down Chopper! I don't know what you're saying! Your not coming in clear!"

"He's saying that Ezra is cold and he can't wake him up and that his own systems are to cold, preventing him from moving around and he's close to shutting down from the cold." Hera scanned the planet, looking for the downed ship but through the storm it was hard to see anything and her radars weren't picking up on anything. "Kanan?"

"...He's so faint...I can feel him but...its so wavering." Kanan stood up, staring out the windows down at the planet.

"Kanan, we need to..."

"I know, I know, just let me..." Kanan focused. "...Straight forward..." Hera glanced him then nodded, trusting Kanan. "...to the left...there, down, we need to go down now." Kanan snapped his teal eyes open, staring into the storm.

"Now Hera, he's down there and he doesn't feel good." The pilot carefully slid down, finding them a spot on the barren cold moon to land.

"Karabast I cant' see a damn thing in this storm." Zeb glared out the window.

"You can't, but I can feel. Ezra is outside there, in the shuttle and he's so cold." The Jedi stood, moving to get warmer clothes to go outside. "We're going to need a stretcher. Zeb, grab it, Sabine, the emergency medkit." He said shortly, the feel of his padawan slipping away causing a imbalance he didn't quite know how to manage.

He had experienced loosing his own master, the bond snapping at her passing but that had been different. That had been quick though painful in the weeks afterward. This was a slowly tearing bond that taunted Kanan, taunted him in a way he did not appreciate. Taunted him with the sensation of loss, of not being able to save Ezra.

He wasn't going to give into that sensation. And he wasn't going to lose Ezra.

When the ramp finally lowered he practically Force jumped out, using his senses to find the downed shuttle. It was almost fully covered in snow, the storm having buried most of it in a blanket of white.

'Ezra?' He called out only to receive no response, not even a half conscious greeting.

He cursed and pulled his lightsaber, cutting the door open with care so not to cut into his crew members before hooking it back on his belt and pulling the metal out to leave a hole. He noticed Chopper first and then he noticed Ezra, covered in the silver thermal blanket, leaning against the astromech.

"Sithspit." He hissed and slid in, carefully shuffling the frozen Chopper back from Ezra to check on the teenager. He knew the mech would be fine once his systems were heated up again and he had a good checkup, but Ezra...

Ezra was pale, his face was coated in blood, both fresh and dried and his lips were turning a vaughe shade of blue. "Ezra? Kid, wake up, answer me." He tapped at Ezra's face as Sabine slid in with the medkit.

"I don't think we can use anything in the kit for him. He's...he needs to be warmed up first." Sabine eyed the sluggishly bleeding scrape on Ezra's forehead, wondering why it hadn't stopped bleeding. She knew head wounds could bleed a lot but still.

Dazed blue eyes opened. "...Dad?" Ezra whispered crookedly and Kanan felt his heart jump to his throat, absently noting Sabine's hands stilling on where she was looking through the kit for anything that could help them in their current situation.

"...Yeah son, its me." He murmured, reaching out to pull the teenager into his arms to get out of the shuttle, already guessing that there wouldn't be a thing in there they could use until they could assess Ezra's condition better.

"...Cold..." Ezra shivered, trying to wrap himself more up into his own body.

"I know, I know, we're gonna get you warmed up." Kanan stood with Ezra in his arms, hearing a small cry of pain as he did. He swallowed then stepped out of the hole he cut. "Zeb, grab Chopper, he's not going to be moving on his own until Hera has a look at him."

Reluctantly Kanan placed Ezra on the stretcher, murmuring soothingly at him as he did and wrapping the second thermal blanket around his padawan as he hurried towards the Ghost, squinting in the storm.

He kept one hand on Ezra and the other on the stretcher to guide it, feeling the others follow behind quickly, all of them wanting to get of the moon and have their crew members looked over.

Hera almost jumped down into the cargo bay when she heard them arrive, giving Ezra and Chopper a worried look before nodding to Kanan. "Get him to the medbay, I'll take care of Chopper, you take care of Ezra."

The Jedi mutely nodded and took the youngster with him, almost running.

Sabine knelt down beside Hera to help him and the Twi'lek sent her a curious look as to why she wasn't following Kanan.

"...He called Kanan dad...I...don't think I should disturb right now." She said quietly, the Mando looking a bit uncomfortable with admitting something so intimate in front of everyone.

"...Karabast, I thought I heard that." Zeb sighed then rubbed his face. "...That's good though...isn't it? I mean..." Zeb crossed his arms over his chest. "Isn't it?"

"Not if Ezra was hallucinating. You know how defensive he is." Hera continued tinkering with Chopper, frowning. "We'll have to insulate Chopper's systems in case of these kinds of situations. You never know with Ezra around."

()()()

Treating Ezra's hypothermia proved to be a challenge among his other injuries, Ezra's ribs already tender as Kanan undressed him, getting him settled on the medbay bed .

"Come on Kiddo, I need you to focus on me and talk to me. Tell me what's wrong." Kanan got the heating pads, placing them on his padawan's stomach and upper chest, avoiding the bruising ribs before placing them along Ezra's bruising sides.

"Ow..." Ezra whispered out.

"I know, I know. I'm going to help you but you need to warm up first and talk to me." The Jedi got cloth and started cleaning the blood of Ezra's face, hissing at the purple and red cut on his temple. "Do you remember what happened here?"

Ezra tried to think, licking his chapped lips.

"...Blaster whipped? I...think?" Ezra took a breath as deep as he could, groaning at the pressure it put on his ribs. "Dad it hurts..."

"I know. I'm here, I'll help you. I just need to get you warm." He cleaned out the wound then sprayed a bandage with bactagel before wrapping it up. It was clear that Ezra had a concussion but it didn't seem dangerous, they'd have to wake him once every few hours to check he hadn't gone into a coma. But for now it seemed to be alright.

Kanan then moved to the ribs, carefully pressing on them. Bruised but nothing broken, a miracle honestly with the crash but that did make thin-

A small thin, cold hand wrapped around his wrist and Kanan looked up into blurry blue eyes. "I'm safe now...right?"

"Yes Ezra, you're safe." Kanan covered those hands with his own, holding the cold digits between his larger, warmer hands. "I'm going to make sure you remain safe."

"...Kay...can I sleep?" Ezra swallowed a bit.

"Yes Ezra, we're gonna wake you every few hours but if you can sleep..."

"Kay..." Ezra squeezed Kanan's hands. "...Know its you Kanan." He whispered then closed his eyes, letting himself relax.

Kanan stared at him, holding onto those small hands that were slowly gaining warmth.

Then he reached out and stroked a tanned cheek gently with one hand, his other holding those hands to his chest. "You're gonna be fine Ezra...you're gonna be alright."

* * *

Author note: Well then...huh...tada? I'm sorry if any medical facts don't checkout, I did my best though heh.


	19. But you came

Kanan frowned, sitting up slowly. He'd felt...something.

Slowly he pushed himself out of his body, reaching out to the people in the Ghost, brushing against Hera first, Sabine, Zeb and...there. Ezra.

Ezra was not in his bunk.

A gentle, hesitant tap on his shield made him follow it to the galley, showing him exactly where the teenager was. The padawan had felt his master search out and had responded so not to cause any panic, though his touch had been hesitant.

Kanan got up carefully, still feeling tender from his stint with the Inquisitor and the battle.

Slowly he made his way to the galley where Ezra was standing, holding onto a cup of something smoking. "Hey...aren't you suppose to be asleep? The burns bothering you?" Kanan asked quietly, slowly sitting down beside the teen.

"...No, Hera put bacta on them...just...couldn't I guess." He shrugged, blue eyes tracing how gingerly Kanan moved. A spike of anger went through the bond and Kanan looked at Ezra quickly.

"...Okay, talk to me. What's going on?" He frowned a bit, worried about his padawan.

Ezra looked down, frowning into the cup.

"Ez-"

"They didn't come to save you." Ezra's tone held a note of fury and sadness. "They were going to abandon you to the Inquisitor, to the Empire." He tightened his grip on his cup, a slight tremor going through his entire body and through the Force. "They were going to let you die."

Kanan blinked. "Ezra..."

"How could they? You've done so much for everyone on Lothal. And they were willing to sacrifice you. Its not fair, they shouldn't have made that call and Hera was going to go along with it, with their orders." He gritted his teeth, struggling against his own thoughts.

Kanan took a deep breath. "...No...Perhaps not. But you came. You all came."

"We wouldn't have if I hadn't gone to Vizago, we wouldn't have known where to look or what to do." Ezra stared into the cup.

"But you did. You went. You got the information needed and you acted. And you struck a blow against the Empire."

"Yeah and got Tarkin town burned with everyone there in the Empire's custody." Ezra looked away, frowning bitterly.

"...Yes...we...they know us now. They know what we are and who we are. Every action we take has a reaction on the opposite side. We need to think about that every time we do a run now." Kanan sighed.

"...They still had no right to deny us the right to rescue you... and they only came because I went in there. You heard her, Ahsoka, they came because I went in and because my voice was the one on the transmission that got people talking." Another spike of fury went through the Force.

"She came bec-"

"Because if the Empire snuffed me out people would stop talking again." Ezra looked at Kanan, face twisted in righteous anger and fear. "But I wouldn't have spoken out if it wasn't for you, for the Ghost crew. I wouldn't BE here if it wasn't for you all and they can't just throw you away like...like..."

Ezra hiccuped and Kanan reached out, dragging the teen into his arms, cupping him tightly, the cup abandoned on the table as Ezra dug his fingers into the fabric of Kanan's shirt.

"...They can't abandon you, they can't throw you away like you don't matter. I won't let them." He whispered against the green fabric.

"I'm not leaving you Ezra." He squeezed the teens shoulders, reaching out soothingly against the frazzled sense that was Ezra's Force.

"That's not wh-"

"Ezra..."

"...You already did once though..."

"Not willingly. I won't leave you willingly Ezra. If anyone is taking me, they're going to meet a fight on the way." Kanan reached down and cupped Ezra's chin, forcing the other to look up at him, staring into eyes so blue they looked like a bottomless ocean.

"...You promise?" Ezra swallowed, staring back at the man who had taken him in, given him purpose and training.

Who had given him what Ezra had needed more then anything else in the the whole galaxy.

A family.

"I give you my word Ezra. If they want to take a victory against us, against me, they'll have to drag me kicking and screaming away from you and this crew. This family." He said firmly before tucking Ezra right back against his chest.

"I'm not leaving you Ezra as long as you need me, I am NOT leaving."

"...Okay..." Ezra whispered, closing his eyes, taking a deep breath through his nose.

Kanan looked up and gave a slight nod to where Hera was standing, the pilot nodding gently in return before leaving the two to their own, trusting Kanan to settle the deep rooted fears Ezra was screaming out at a world that wouldn't listen.

But they would listen.

The Ghost crew would listen to the screams and they would always come and sooth them.

Nothing could stop that.

* * *

Author note: And with this I have offically watched all of season one, hurray! Now I have moved far into the second one and you will all HATE me for the next chapter and I can't wait for it mwuahahaha! ...No really, you guys are gonna hate me for it, I am going to adore the angst and become the strongest sith queen to ever rise. All the suffering! So enjoy this fluff while ya can


	20. But you came (part 2)

"We send them here and here." Ezra looked up at Ahsoka, blue eyes tracking her every moment even as she directed the ships along with Commander Sato. "And this system is in need of medical supplies thanks to the blockade of the Empire."

He noted her looking up and glancing at Kanan, opening her mouth only to quickly look at Ezra when the young padawan moved to his Master's side, the teen touching the others arm to get his attention. "Kanan, could you go over that lighsaber form with me again, I think I almost got it now."

"Again Ezra?" Kanan sighed before smiling and nodding. "Well, I'm gad you're taking your studies seriously at least. Alright, to the Ghost bay, we'll try again."

She watched them go then let out a deep sigh, glancing to where Hera was standing, arms loosely crossed over her chest. The Twi'lek shrugged awkwardly, she knew exactly what Ezra was doing but was in no position to stop the teen, not at the moment at least.

"He's angry. I...he'll get over it?" She tried awkwardly to find something to say.

"He may, eventually. But we have to send Kanan out on missions soon." Ahsoka straightened, staring at her. "He needs to understand that this is not just about one cell anymore."

"...He knows that. But he's not going to let any of you close to send Kanan out, not yet. Ezra is like many of us, experiencing the loss the Empire bought but...he thought better about us. About the Rebellion." Hera hesitated, glancing at where Sato was standing, a eyebrow raised at the two females.

"...Ezra lost his parents to the Empire, he lost the safety a family and home provides, we...the Ghost crew we became what he had lost. We...reminded him about what he could fight for because for so long he had no one and looked out only for himself. And...we abandoned Kanan. You told us not to rescue him, didn't give us the chance, the option, the choice. And I agreed." Hera sighed, tightening her arms around herself.

She knew it had been the right choice, strategic it was the right choice.

But it hadn't been the right choice in her heart.

"...He lost enough. He lost enough for ages. He wasn't about to lose Kanan. He'd do what he did again and...I'd help him again. I know that is not what you want to hear but that's the truth." She peered at them with her green eyes. "...We're family, mismatched, damaged, hurt and limping, we pull each other along slowly when another falls behind. I'm sorry but I right there with him...I can't help you. Not with Ezra and his anger or his protective instincts." She moved towards the doors too, stopping before turning. "If you want, I could get Ezra to talk to you? If you manage to talk to him... perhaps you could resolve something Ashoka." She slipped out.

()()()()()

Ezra shifted and slowly climbed down his ladder, being careful not to wake Zeb as he did, barefoot feet making no noise as he slid out of his room and moved down the hall, stopping by Kanan's room and sliding down the wall, running a hand through his sleep tussled hair.

'In through the nose, out through the mouth...and reach.' He thought, eyes going soft focused as he reached out towards the living being that was Kanan, reaching to sooth a damaged and hurting soul.

He could tell that the other was aching, the Jedi hiding all his pain underneath his bluster and sarcastic wit.

But he couldn't hide from Ezra.

Not with the bond they had.

So the teen sat and listened with his mind, his focus set on his master. Ezra couldn't do much for the body, the body was something that needed to heal on hits own but he could reach out to the soul while Kanan dreamed, his sleep undisturbed thanks to Ezra.

And in return Ezra felt his own frazzled nerves settling, helping sooth him as he listened to Kanan's Force, the sensation like a small waterfall in his mind.

If he hadn't been so connected to the Force he might not have noticed the quiet being slipping onto the Ghost. But he was, instantly recognizing the presence as he got up, his eyes no longer faded away as he moved to intercept the person before they reached the cabins.

He slipped down the ladder quickly and stood there, barring the way as she came into view.

"Lady Tano." He murmured shortly.

"Please Ezra, I've asked you to call me Ahsoka." She smiled at him only to be meet with Ezra's narrowed eyes. She sighed inwardly at the suspicious young eyes. Kids was always the most naive to the wars that were fought.

"I don't like where your thoughts are going. I've seen enough of the Empire and I don't like your train of thought." Ezra said sharply, hands clenching on the ladder. She looked at him in surprise. "You...must be strong in the Force if you can sense that much of my thoughts."

"You don't survive the streets being naive. If I had been naive I would have been dead or worse." Ezra was puffing himself up like a angry Lothcat.

And perhaps that was just what he was. One angry little Lothcat, ready to defend its little family.

"You almost tore my family apart." Ezra's knuckles were turning white on the ladder at the force he was putting on it.

"The Em-"

"The Empire took him. The Inquisitor. But you denied us the chance to save him. You and the Rebellion refused us. And you got Hera to go along with it. You made us splinter and we could have lost one of ours. We might be a cell to you." Ezra's sapphire blue eyes sparkled in the dark, the light from the hall over the ladder shining down on his hair. "But to me we're a family. And I'm not letting anyone take that away from me again. They'd go through me before that."

There was a disturbing silence.

"...You're very brave to talk like that. I remember a time when I had people I cared for like that, now I lead a Rebellion and there are always difficult choices to be made." Ahsoka started carefully.

"The Empire takes all." Ezra cut in. "The Empire takes your family, your friends, they take your livelihood, your home and your freedom." His hand slowly eased the grip he had on the ladder as he turned to fully face her.

"The Rebellion is not taking what happiness I managed to find from me. The next time you or Commander Sato decided that any of the Ghost crew is disposable, I won't be held accountable for what happens."

"Are you threatening the Rebellion?" She tensed.

"No. But I will take what's left of my family and you will NEVER see or hear from them again. I won't let them be in harms way by the Rebellion, we'll go back to what we did before, hit and runs and helping those who need us. That's a promise." The teen stood in front of her, courageous, strong and firm in his opinion.

And truthful.

If they were ever to discard any member of this crew, Ezra Bridger would stand up to his word and take his family away to keep them safe. She had a feeling they would listen to the teenager too if he spoke as passionately then as he did now.

"..I understand. You're not going to let us send Kanan out for a few more days are you?" She asked softly, stepping to the teenager who peered up at her before shaking his head. "He was hurt. He's still hurting. If you think I'm going to just stand and watch you guys send him any where, you're dead wrong."

"The medical droids says he's healing fine."

"A medical droid doesn't have a bond and doesn't feel him." Ezra glared at her, challenging.

Ahsoka didn't rise to it. Instead she gently placed a hand on Ezra's shoulder, smiling at his suddenly confused face.

"Your master is lucky to have you Ezra. You're a brave young man." She placed her other hand on the opposite shoulder, peering at the scar on his face. "Facing the dangers for those you care for, not letting those you love fall to despair despite the pain it brings to you..."

Ezra flushed, looking down instead of at her, feeling a bit ashamed of how venomous he had been towards her.

"I will not schedule Kanan for any missions just yet. On your request." She added.

"...Thank you. Don't tell Kanan though? I mean...he likes to pretend he's alright..."

Ahsoka smiled a bit. 'Like master like padawan...' Then she nodded. "Of course. If he asks I will tell him I believe you require his full attention for now."

She stepped back and gave Ezra a little bow before walking away back to Phoenix home.

"...Ahsoka?" She glanced back in surprise, watching the teen by the ladder.

"...Thank you, for coming I mean, for coming to save us." He smiled a tiny bit, warmth in those blue eyes glowing at Ahsoka, bringing a ray of hope.

"You are welcome Ezra Bridger."

* * *

Author note: Someone (and they know who they are!), asked about Ezra having lingering backthoughts about how the Rebellion left Kanan in the Empire's hands, so instead of my horrible angsty chapter that I was going to update in, you get this! Enjoy!


	21. Tear a barrier

Rex caught on first. The old clone might not have the bond to guide him but he did have eyes and a long experience fighting along-side Jedi's and their padawans. And by now he knew Ezra.

Just something in the way Ezra moved, sometimes reaching out and holding onto the wall as if needing the support or generally seemed to have his eyes unfocused after the return from the old Republic medical station. Or even bumping into people, something Ezra was usually very good at avoiding.

He knew he'd have one hell of a time getting the hard-headed child to admit to anything and instead drew the Jedi's attention.

At first he thought Kanan would blow him off and ignore him until Rex eyes moved to Ezra quickly. That got the Jedi's attention. 'Well, good to know he can listen to me about something.' He thought dryly before picking up one of the empty bomb shells Sabine had been tinkering with, making sure Kanan was paying attention.

"...Ezra?" He called out, catching Zeb's attention where he was playing Sabine in dejarik in a attempt to relax from the attack of the Inquisitors, the bombing artist glancing up too before focusing at the serious look on Rex face and the way Kanan was looking closely.

"Mmmmn?" Ezra glanced up, hand hovering as he had been about to reach for the fridge.

"Dodge." Rex threw the shell, as fast as he could.

Ezra yelped then promptly hit the galley wall, his moves sluggish as he actually dodged but still hit the wall instead as he went left instead of right in his attempt to get away and then struggled to remain upright, reaching out for the galley counter for support. Hera almost dropped her mug in surprise and Chopper warbled curiously.

"Ezra?" Kanan got up, moving to the teen quickly, taking the others arms and holding him up.

"Fine, 'm fine..." Ezra blinked up at Kanan then sent him a bright smile. "See?"

Kanan just frowned at him, keeping one steadying hand on the others shoulder and cupping his chin with the other to raise the teens chin. "No, you're not." It grated on his nerves for the clone to notice first but that could be ignored as Kanan examined the of focused eyes of the teen in front of him.

"Sabine and Zeb are bruised but fine because they've gotten treatment, you are not moving right however and you're not fine because I know you haven't been to any treatment. What happened?"

Ezra seemed to struggle a bit, staring up at Kanan. Then he sighed, giving in. "...The...the Inquisitor. She did something. I don't know, it felt like she was trying to...to rip my brain apart when she had me? Kept asking me questions...called me pretty." He grunted. "Could have done without her touching me. But she did something to my head and I didn't think anything could be done for it"

That time Hera did drop her cup. "She what? Ezra, did she..."

He looked towards her in confusion. "Huh?" Her stomach acids were rebelling dangerously at her own thought and Sabine caught on quickly to what she was implying.

"He didn't look...I mean, he wasn't undressed when I arrived." Sabine offered quickly, suddenly second guessing herself and Ezra looked towards her with wide eyes before looking back at Hera, struggling in Kanan's grip. "No! Nothing like that! She just...I mean.." He waved his hands shakily.

"...Nothing like that?" He tried weakly. "She just...generally...touched? And talked? And did something to my head?"

The Jedi took a deep breath through his nose and let it calmly out through his mouth before focusing on the matter at hand. "Ezra...I need you to lower all your shields and let me in, alright?"

"But...but that would leave me-"

"Open. I know, but no one is going to get in. I won't let them get into your mind." Kanan assured. "Trust me Ezra..." He murmured when the teenager hesitated. "...Alright."

He smiled a bit then closed his eyes, reaching out slowly as he felt the Force thrum through him, guiding him into the opened mind of Ezra, Kanan bringing his own shields with him just in case anyone tried anything.

Slowly he started to examine the barriers Ezra had built under his guidance, gently soothing every time he felt Ezra's discomfort rise.

And each time he did he felt it slowly sink back down at his assurance.

He had a feeling he knew what he was looking for as he let the Force guide him to a tear in the barriers. Kanan frowned in the real world as he slowly tried to brush it, feeling Ezra's alarm as he did, his padawan recognizing that something wasn't right.

He pulled back and looked into Ezra's wide blue eyes. "What...what was that?"

"A tear. This Inquisitor, she went in and hammered at your barriers, not caring if she pulled something lose or ruined it."

"Ruined it? My brain?!" Ezra squeaked, eyes impossibly wide.

Usually Zeb would defuse the situation with a witty comment but he didn't think that would be appreciated at this moment, at all.

"No, no Ezra. She hasn't. There's a tear in your barriers. The same barriers that protect you." Kanan assured, holding Ezra's shoulders. "And those can be fixed."

"...Fixed?"

"Yes. These things happen Ezra, if someone tries to pull information out of your mind by force and you fight against it, eventually something has to give on either end. Either your mind or their power. This time your mind was tearing but she stopped before it happened fully."

"How...do we heal it though?" Ezra swallowed, letting Kanan guide him away from the others.

"Same way we built them. We meditate, but I'll help you repair them this time." Kanan squeezed a shoulder gently.

"Oh...good...good...she didn't touch me like that though. Just...just so you know." Ezra swallowed heavily. The idea was nauseating him.

"I believe you, but you gotta understand that we worry. We don't really know what limit they will have to get what they want." Kanan sighed and held the teen to him. He worried about the teen beside him, things were getting a lot harder a lot faster then he appreciated, fighting a war was different then what they had done, the needs of the few scarified for the many, the military protocols and the rules.

He didn't want Ezra involved in it.

But he knew he couldn't get him away from it either. Not when he wanted to help.

And like it or not, the best way to help right now was to stick with the Rebellions army.

"...Come on, we'll get this fixed up Ezra...together." He squeezed the others shoulder carefully.

Having those trusting blue eyes peer up at him made it worth it and Kanan smiled gently back.

He wasn't about to let those eyes down if he could help it.

* * *

Author note: I have the ANGSTIEST chapter ever further down the line. I've been working on it for DAYS. And its done. And I want to upload it, its the same one I've been threatening you all with. And YET I can't. Because I need to follow the time line here haha. So here, enjoy some Rex time.


	22. We love

"You know, Hera will have our hides if she knew we weren't really training." Kanan murmured quietly as he laid on the yellow grass of Lothal, running his fingers through the soft hair of the boy against him. The small body shuffled closer and he huffed.

"We've been training everyday. Can't we take a break Master?" The boy popped his head on Kanan's chest, peering at him while pouting, clear blue eyes shining in the light.

"Ezra..."

"Please? It hasn't been this peaceful in a while." He flopped his head down on Kanan's chest, giving him the widest and wobbliest eyes he could as the Loth-cats scampered around them. A soft breeze ruffled the grass around them.

Kanan snorted and then nodded, settling one arm under his head while staring up at the sky, smiling as he felt the child beside him settle. "You know...you're coming along great. Most your age don't catch on this quick Ezra, being as young as you are." He murmured.

"I'm eight and a half thank you very much." Ezra said primly against his chest before sitting up and crawling up until he could sit on Kanan's stomach, peering down at him with a grin. "I'm also sitting on your stomach."

"Why yes you are. And why are you sitting on my stomach?" Kanan quirked a eyebrow.

"Because that means I'm on top and that means I win." The eight year old declared, sticking his tongue out at his master then beaming as Kanan snorted.

"Oh really now."

"Yup!"

"We'll see about that!" Kanan hands latched onto Ezra's tender, ticklish ribs, provoking a loud squeal of delight as he tickled his padawan, sitting up as the other rolled of him and tried to escape. "Nuuuuu!"

"Get back here you scamp!" The Jedi prowled after the running child, unable to hide his grin as Ezra laughed loudly.

"Nuhu! You're gonna tickle me!"

Kanan used his longer legs to his advantage and caught up to Ezra, grabbing him around the waist with a laugh as he threw him into the air, catching him again as he came back down, his own smile as wide as Ezra as the child laughed with carefree abandonment.

If there was ever a moment he wanted to preserve forever it was that, Ezra's face, eyes squinted shut, his mouth open to laugh and his eyes flushed with his arms raised towards Kanan, fully trusting the other to catch him and hold on.

He tucked him against his chest again and squeezed him carefully. "I love you son." He said softly, feeling small arms wrap around his neck and squeeze back. "I love you too Dad." Ezra whispered shyly into Kanan's chest.

Teal eyes snapped open in the waking world, staring at the bunk over him for what felt like forever before there was a soft knock at his door.

He didn't bother to get up, already feeling the boy on the other side of the door and instead reached out gently with the Force, feeling a soft response before the door slipped open and Ezra stood there with his arms around himself, slowly stepping into the room.

Kanan shifted and made space, lifting the blanket as he let Ezra crawl into his bunk, tucking the blankets around the both as Ezra settled his head into the mans chest, feeling the arms come up around him.

The Jedi kissed the top of Ezra's head and held him tightly as he had done with a much smaller body in his dreams. "...Love you dad." Ezra whispered quietly.

Kanan squeezed tightly. "I love you too son."

* * *

Author note: Milestone chapter! I hit a 100 reviews on here, so have a short, fluffy one as a milestone story and my eternal thanks to ALL my readers!


	23. Two small figures

"So?"

"Hmm?" Ezra fiddled with the cube in his hands, moving the colored squares around to try and get all of them to line up in the right place.

"The others not here, Hera trying to get that ship and all. We're floating beside the command ship in safety." Kanan watched his padawan fiddle with the puzzle toy, raising a eyebrow as he did. "You can talk to me you know. I heard what you said to Hondo, as you very well know."

"Oh, that." Ezra settled back against his seat, glancing at Chopper then at Kanan. The whole business with the Broken Horn had given the others a little relapse view into what Ezra's life had used to be.

How Ezra had used to think.

But then again, dealing with a pirate like Hondo did have that consequence, especially with Ezra needing time to think.

Kanan just needed to be sure that the other wasn't about to start taking extra missions of a unsavory sort. If for no other reason then he didn't want the other to suddenly end up as Hondo's 'cargo' by 'accident'.

"...I used to be like him. At one point, if Hondo had offered it then, I would have taken him up on his offer in a heartbeat." Ezra stared out the panels of the Ghost before looking back down at the cube, frowning at the colors as he tried to figure out how to open it. "The idea of a life among the stars, adventure, fun and someone to help me...even Hondo, would have appealed so much. A Jedi-pirate as he said..."

He glanced at Kanan to see what the Jedi thought only to be meet with a understanding smile. "Hey, I did work as a smuggler you know. And a thief." He focused out the window. "I had to survive somehow too..." But Kanan had been older, Caleb had been older then Ezra, and he hadn't been alone, he'd been with Kasmir. He glanced back at the teen who looked a bit better as he fiddled with the cube Rex had given him

"...I forget that sometimes." Ezra mumbled.

"Most do, they see me as a Jedi now, something of the old. But I spent a lot of time after the Clone wars hiding." Kanan turned his seat to continue watching, trusting Chopper to keep a eye on the Ghost.

"Mmmn...just...keeping his company reminded me of the road I could have gone. If it wasn't for you guys. I mean Hondo looks happy but..."

"But?" Kanan leaned his elbows on his knees.

"...He doesn't feel happy all the time like he pretends to be. He feels like someone who's lost a lot for the life he lives." Ezra finally peeked up at Kanan. "But I guess that's true for most things in our galaxy."

"Mmmn...how about this Ezra. When Hondo goes to bed, what do you think he dreams of?" The Jedi started slowly.

The youngster frowned at him, wondering what that had to do with anything before looking away. "I guess...credits? Loot he could ship and sell...his own ship? His past? Errg..."

"Mhmm...him and his..." Kanan nodded. "But what do you dream of?"

Blue eyes peeked at Kanan and a slight flush rose to his cheeks. "...You, the crew, my parents...the future?"

"We, them, the future. You may have grown up having to think you. But that's not how you think anymore. You said it yourself, you're not like Hondo anymore. You're like me. Like us. The crew. This crew."

Ezra raised his head quickly at that, hands resting in his lap with the toy. "I...huh...I didn't think of that. I mean, I thought I had you guys but...not think like you guys."

"Course you didn't. You have a tendency to second guess your own intentions. Comes from being on your own for so long and having to think that way." Kanan chuckled quietly. "Its not bad Ezra, not really. As long as you remember you don't have to do everything on your own."

"Kind of hard to remember among everything else." Ezra breathed out, waving the cube at Kanan. "Not that you guys make it any easier sometimes. I feel like I'm being crammed full of things to do and barely get time to do anything on my own."

"You crawl into the vents often enough that you get time on your own."

"You can all hear me. I KNOW Sabine went in there and left both microphones and cameras just in case." Ezra said dryly. "So I know you're all monitoring it just in case."

"...Well, you fell asleep in there last month!" Kanan defended their decision.

"Mhmm. Yeah I wonder why." Blue eyes rolled but he was smiling ever so slightly.

"Ah, first light you can be so annoying." Kanan chuckled, turning back to the Ghost controls.

"Course I am, that's my job as your padawan."

"No, your job as my padawan is to learn."

"So you say. I firmly think its to annoy you as best and as hard as I can, everyday for our natural lives until..." Ezra shut up at that, not wanting to even entertain that last word.

"...Hey, we'll be around for a long time Ezra." Kanan murmured, glancing at him.

"...Hmm..." Ezra fiddled faster with the colored squares.

"...Did Rex even tell you why you were doing that?"

"There's a surprise inside it." Ezra frowned, wondering what square that wasn't in the right place. "He said if I could get it all to line up, it would open up and there would be something inside it for me."

Kanan raised a eyebrow at that. Well Rex had the kid pegged at least. Make him want something and then make him work for it to learn. Not sure he liked the clone had Ezra that well pegged though.

"I just need t-oh..."

"Oh, Oh what?" He glanced over at Ezra then blinked. "Oh." The colored box had opened and inside it was two little figures. Ezra picked one out gingerly and stared at it before smiling. It was a little almost blue haired Jedi figure with a blue lightsaber. He picked up the second and smiled even more at the dark haired figure with a secondary blue lightsaber. Two small figures, a Jedi and a padawan.

"...Lets...not tell the others about those two..." Kanan murmured, smiling ever so slightly at the awed look on Ezra's face.

'...Perhaps I'll thank Rex for those...nawww.' He looked back out the Ghost's windows, reveling in the light hearted emotions beside him, relaxing calmly.

* * *

Author note: Tada? Oh! A little update, tomorrow I'm going on vacation for a week and then I'm getting surgery. I am not sure when I will have a stable internet connection but if I do, I will update it. This might mean however that the chapters are earlier then usual or later...I've been trying to follow a 24 hour update thing but hey, special cercumstances and all.


	24. Padawan Catch

Ezra watched the mother board the ship with her child, arms crossed as he knew they were going to be taken somewhere safe, somewhere away from the hands of the Inquisitors.

"Ezra?" He looked up and peered at Kanan as the man gestured for him to follow. "You seem...distracted."

The teen fell into step with Kanan, shrugging a bit. "I guess...just can't stop thinking about the kids. Do you think there are many out there?" He looked up at his Master, trying not to let on to everything he was feeling.

"More then we want to consider, hopefully the Inquisitors haven't gotten any of them though." The Jedi sighed, rubbing his forehead a bit. It was hard to consider how a child in their grasp would grow and what they would become. He didn't really want to think of it if he was honest.

"What...were they doing with them anyway? I mean what were they going to do with them?" Ezra asked as they came upon the command bridge, glancing at Ahsoka before focusing back up at Kanan.

"I'm...not sure. Something similar did happened during the clone war but the plan back then was... well to create sith spies out of them to overwhelm the Jedi's. That is no longer necessary as there isn't really a order of Jedi's left to spy on."

"Then...what?" Ezra stared up at him.

"To corrupt them. To make them the new tools of the Empire." Ahsoka spoke up softly. "But we saved them. They won't become that."

Ezra frowned and looked down. "...They were going to take everything from them...family, freedom, childhood...to turn them into weapons?" He asked quietly.

The other human watched him, watched the frown and the darkening eyes as Ezra took that in. This wasn't the kind of life Ezra should have, to even have to consider it. He had barely had a chance to be a child thanks to the Empire, growing up to fast and still growing in the fight they were involved in.

A idea sparked of in him.

He glanced at Ahsoka, he knew she knew this game but he hoped she wouldn't tell the padawan. "I think we should get back to training." He clapped his hands together before reaching for the coms unit had on his belt out of habit more then anything these days.

"Training?" Ezra looked up.

"Yes, or well a hunt is more like." He smirked a bit, watching Ahsoka straightening and turning otwards them as Ezra narrowed his eyes in confusion. "Specter three, four and five, you there?" Kanan waited for them to respond. "I'm going to involve you all in a little training exercise. Ezra here is going to get to the Ghost from the command ship, without getting caught. He's allowed to use his blaster, he's allowed to Force enhance his sense and he's allowed to pull and push but nothing else. We are allowed our blasters, and I can use the Force in the same manner as Ezra. If Ezra gets caught, he has to take everyone's chores for a day and he has to spend a whole day meditating." Kanan watched Ezra's face turn mulish.

"But if he wins..." He almost smirked as Ezra's blue eyes perked at the idea of winning. "If he wins I teach him something new and we take all his chores for a full week."

"Kanan, a full week!"

"We split them evenly IF he wins Zeb." He watched Ezra roll his shoulders, already gearing up for it. "I'm going to count to five and then ten Ezra, at five, the others start chasing. At then at ten I move. Better start running. One..."

Ezra blasted of towards the doors, the door opening for him as he slipped out. "Two." The door shut and Kanan chuckled quietly. "Three...four...five. Move out, he's on the way." He slipped the com onto his belt and raised his eyebrow at Ahsoka's amused look and Sato's bemused one.

"You're playing padawan catch with him?"

"He looked to serious and dark. Beside, dangle something in front of Ezra that he wants and he's in for it. He doesn't need to know its a game and not a proper training exercise."

"And if he finds out?"

"He won't as long as you and Commander Sato here don't tell him." Kanan hummed, keeping count in his head.

"And IF he finds out?"

"Then I fess up, beside, avoiding being captured in the first place is a good skill to have that he's not very good at. Now excuse me, I have a padawan to catch...I'd rather not take all his chores." Kanan started moving.

"...Is this common among Jedi's?" Sato looked at Ahsoka, blinking a bit as Kanan settled into a spring once he walked out the door.

"Only between good masters and padawans." She smiled softly, remembering playing the same game at the temple herself in what felt like another lifetime. "Though not usually on ships. Now, we need to get back to this Commander, Garel is just a temporary haven..."

()()()()()()

Ezra skidded to a stop, eyes staring down the hall before narrowing themselves and turning back to where he had come from. But once again his senses sent ringing of in his ears and he stopped, cursing to himself as Zeb and Sabine came round the corner he had been about to go through and Kanan and Chopper came through the one he had been in.

Pinned.

"Seems you're doing our chores for a day kid!" Zeb sniggered happily, he'd pile the water filtration checks onto him. He was pretty sure the kid would have to go into the pipes for whatever was stuck in them.

"Nowhere to go Ezra." Sabine wasn't better of at hiding her glee at the thought of avoiding her chores for a day.

Kanan however was watching Ezra closely as the teen looked up then shot all of them a cheeky grin. "Nowhere for YOU guys to go you mean." He lowered into a crotch and jumped up and into the vent above, the Force propelling him up faster and further then a normal jump and opening the vent cover for him. "I got plenty of spaces to go!"

"Ezra, no ruining the ship!"

"I haven't ruined anything, I just got a vent open and I'm just doing what I can best that none of you can. Crawl through vents!" His voice faded away with laughter.

"We're...we're not going to get to shrink our chores are we..." Zeb sighed. He'd been looking forward to having a drink and watching Ezra do their work damn it.

"...If we don't catch him...he's gonna hold it over our heads for ages."

"Karabast."

The whole hunt ended up with Ezra sitting quite comfortable in the cockpit of the Ghost, enjoying a nice warm cup of chocolate with Hera as the others took his chores. "And remember Kanan, the air filter needs to be completely scrubbed~" She chirped and grinned at Ezra.

"Thanks for helping me." He grinned happily, a flush on his face.

She sniggered. "Just don't tell them..."

"My lips are sealed~"

* * *

Author note: Kids play games all the times, I imagen there's no different with Jedi younglings XD Because I'm going on vacation I'm uploading a chapter now right before I go. Have a good one people!


	25. It moves

Author note:This, this is the start. This is a two chapter run, with a third as a sequel that stands on its own. This is what I've been warning ya all about. I've been WAITING on this! Oh gosh how I've waited. It ends on a cliffhanger even! All the fluff has lead to this! There will be blood, there will be Ezra screaming and I am so proud at myself XD ...yeah no really, I am, I worked hard on this. Just a warning, this chapter may squeak some out, so be careful if you're sensitive.

* * *

Working with Commander Sato was always interesting if a bit straining since the other didn't quite seem to know what to make of Ezra, though he was learning to trust the young padawan it from their mission to find the missing Rebel squadron. Or so Ezra assumed since he appeared to listen when Ezra spoke.

But nothing could go according to plans even working with the larger rebellion that they were now a part of, and once again they got captured.

Him, Commander Sato and a small team that Sato had been leading on the supply run to the Outer Rim planet. By now they knew that the transmission had been rigged by the Empire and there had been no people that needed saving but at the time they had fully believed it until they were captured and brought on board the Star Destroyer.

This time however the man at the helm didn't underestimate 'Jabba' and sent him straight to the interrogation cell, separating him from Sato and the rest.

Annoyances warred with unease as he struggled to get out only to flop back when the door slid open to reveal the Imperial officer standing there but instead of a interrogation droid, a man in white was standing right behind him, limping as he stepped in.

In his hands he had a jar of something that was twitching and Ezra narrowed his eyes. Before he could focus to much on it the officer spoke.

"Agent Kallus has been rather clear in us not underestimating you, after all the ships you've been on that has meet with a...unfortunate end, I'm inclined to believe him." The officer drawled, sunken eyes staring at Ezra as he kept his arms behind his back.

"Good on you, you're marginally more clever then the rest." Ezra snorted. "Want a medal for that?"

"No. But I would like your silence. As it is we are still under orders to keep you alive...for now. Until the Inquisitors can come and retrieve you. But that doesn't mean in one piece." He gestured and the interrogation bed leveled until Ezra was laying, growling a bit in unease.

"And interrogation droids are not the only ones to get results...though this is still highly experimental." He smirked at Ezra.

"Yes, yes, very experimental, not yet tested in fact, to few Force sensitive for it." Ezra looked to the man in white, his face growing a frown as he watched him prepare scalpels. Several more straps came down around his legs and upper body, leaving his stomach area exposed as the doctor cut it open.

His pulse rose. "What are you doing!" He snapped, looking back at the officer when he spoke.

"Getting results." There was a twisted note of satisfaction in his voice. "Doctor, proceed."

The viroscalpel touched flesh and Ezra groaned in pain, his whole body tensing up, eyes wide as he felt himself being sliced open, was he screaming? He must be, he could taste blood in his mouth. First light he had forgotten how much being opened up hurt, especially without being drugged first!

His thick breathing echoed of the halls as the doctor peeled a flap of his skin away enough to peer in, Ezra managing to glance down while gritting his teeth, air flowing between them and his lips as he did.

"Ah yes, good, good, it will fit nicely in right here." The doctor crooned, sounding way to pleased with himself for Ezra's sake. He was certainly not pleased with the way he could peer into his own body.

"Ah, a missing kidney? Oh well no bother." The Doctor hummed then seemed to make a note of it for the Imperial records. Why Ezra had no idea as the doctor reached for the jar.

And then he lost all moisture to his mouth, staring at it. There was something metallic in that jar but it was moving, twitching as if alive and it felt WRONG, wrong on so many levels Ezra couldn't even start to identify.

"This is a little thing I've been working on." He sounded to pleased, talking as if just to hear himself. Perhaps locked away to long on his own with only himself to keep company and therefor needing to fill the space with his own voice. "Yes, yes, this will do nicely, now lets get you into a new home little one..."

Ezra watched him open the jar and use a tweezers to pick up the squirming thing while cooing at it. It reminded him of a worm and then the man placed it inside Ezra. "Yes, yes, good, good it will make its home there. Now lets get you closed up so it won't just slip out. Ooooh this is going to be interesting."

Ezra groaned as the doctor cauterized the wound shut, sealing Ezra up as if he was just a breached ship hull and the smell of burning flesh was rather nauseating. 'Breath in through the nose, out through the mouth...Ezra breath...just...just...breath...'

It came crashing down as something MOVED within him and Ezra's eyes widened, feeling how it wiggled inside him before a small pinprick of pain went through his spine. "Ah..."

"Ah yes! It seems to have latched on! Wonderful, wonderful. By now it should be burrowing its way in." The doctor dropped the tool on the tray, clapping his hands together in almost childish glee.

Ezra body spasmed in the straps, eyes wide as he stared up at the ceiling. And then he groaned louder in pain.

"Ah yes, there we go. Make yourself nice and homey little one."

"Shut...up..." Ezra hissed, his focus wavering as he was slowly straightened up on the board. The moment his body was the right way the pain latched through his body like a hot iron poker rammed through his spine. "What did you...do to me!" He hissed, glaring at the scientist, his whole body jerking with every sensation going through his body.

He was hot yet cold, he was sweating and he was shaking, his whole body felt like it was being pulled yet squeezed at the same time, ever sensation and sound to loud for him to really handle yet being forced to at the same time.

"Oh, oh just a little specially engineered bug of mine. I never thought I'd get to test it! Its designed for Force sensitive and the Empire is more inclined to training them under their own feet then giving them to me. But you...oh what they don't know won't hurt them and after the death of the Grand Inquisitor so many are gunning after your head." The man licked his lips, staring at Ezra. "By now it should have latched onto every nerve and sensation in your body, burrowing through your very being, it feeds of the Force and is going to turn it into a poison for your own body. It will Most likely not kill you." He gleefully clapped his hands together. "I can't wait to see how it will effect you!"

"Throw him in with the others and set up a monitor droid, you have other duties to attend to in the meantime." The Imperial officer snorted as the doctor pouted. "Yes sir. Lucky droid..."

"As for you..." He looked at Ezra, smirking a bit. "Perhaps a few hours with that inside you will make you cooperate with us." He turned to the stormtroopers. "Corporal, take him to the cell with the others and keep them all under triple guard." One of them saluted. His reply however was lost in Ezra's scream of pain, the medical instruments on the table beside the table suddenly hitting the walls as he did, a pulse of pain going through everyone in their level of the ship.

"Oh good, good, I'm glad I got to witness this!" The doctor recovered quicker then most. "A loss of control, I'll have to write this down."

"I...get him in the cell with the others, now." The officer demanded, Ezra's breathing echoing in the suddenly quiet room.

"Y-Yes sir!"

Ezra barely registered being unstrapped though when he was dragged of the table and his arms cuffed behind his back, he could feel the thing on his inside jerk. He screamed again, another pulse rattling the medical instruments on the ground before he spat out blood, coating the white armor of the stormtrooper in front of him, some of it dribbling down his chin.

Ezra's brain was spinning, his whole body concentrated on what was inside of him. He couldn't focus on anything else but the parasite inside of him, moving, burrowing, GROWING inside him. He barely noted that the stormtroopers were actually handling him carefully, not wanting to trigger another pulse of the Force.

He was to busy trying to keep his mind and his stomach in control.

Another spike of pain went from his stomach to his brain. Ezra's knees buckled under him as he threw up over the durasteel beneath him, absently hearing a yell before pain blossomed across his temple and he fell blissfully unconscious.

()()()()()()

"Commander, what WAS that?" Sato looked to the group he had been captured with. "I...do not know. Whatever it was, it was not something good." He frowned, slowly placing his arms behind his back to consider options.

As far as he knew they managed to get the rescue signal of in time. And he knew that the Ghost crew always paid close attention to any mission their youngest member went on, if no one else came then they would at the very least, they had already proved many times capable of being a rescue team, with or without sanction.

But that pulse...the pulse of pain and wrongness...it clung to him in a unpleasant manner, like walking through a swamp.

He was broken from his thoughts as the door slid open to reveal two stormtroopers and...

"Ezra..."

The stormtrooper threw the teenager into the cell, two of the rebel troopers catching the teen before he hit the durasteel and then a droid with several optics for recording purpose following in. "If I were you, I'd keep that kid unconscious for your own sake." The stormtrooper said before the door shut.

Sato frowned. "Wha-"

"Sir! He doesn't look good." Sato turned quickly and knelt down where the two had placed Ezra, noting the cut open lower part of the flightsuit and the cauterized wound on the teens scarred stomach, blood coated the teens chin and lips and he had a large red bump on his right side temple. His arms were securely tied back with a pair of handcuffs.

"...Ezra?" He reached out, carefully tapping the padawans clammy cheeks with a deeper frown, slipping two fingers to the neck to check his pulse. He noted how hot the other felt, a sharply rising fever, along with a torrent of a beating heart in Ezra. "Ezra, open your eyes." He tapped again, giving a relieved sigh when dazed blue eyes opened.

"...Co...mmand...er...Sato?" He panted out, blood staining his teeth as he shivered.

"Yes, yes good, you recognize me. You are a mess, what did they do to you?" He carefully touched the padawan's cauterized wound. "What did they do?"

The touch however triggered a convulsion and then a flash of pain going through everyone in the cell, the lights flickering as Ezra's spine snapped up in a unnatural angle. "Get it out! Get it out of me!" He cried out in panic before screaming in pain, another flash going through the cell before Ezra dropped sharply, giving a cough that bought fresh blood up, his breathing rushed and shallow in the small cell.

"Ezra! What did they put in you?" Sato quickly started to unbutton his coat, leaving him in his undershirt and placed it over the shivering teen.

"A thing! It moves, its not organic but it moves!" Ezra dazed eyes stared up at the ceiling before focusing sharply on Sato. "Get it out of me Commander, please get it out of me get it out of me get it out of me..." He dissolved into a chanting of the same words.

Get it out of me.

Sato frowned. "Ezra, we can't, we have nothing here to get this out of you, whatever it is and attempting to remove it here may kill you..." He whispered to the teen. Ezra choked on his own words then he started to sob, rolling onto his side underneath the coat and curling his knees up to his stomach, his small shape reminding everyone sharply just how young the padawan was. It was suddenly clear why the rest of the Ghost crew had been protecting him so sharply.

Among all of Ezra's wonderful qualities and skills, he was still the youngest of them, still a child in their eyes.

Sato shifted until he could pull the teens head into his lap, like he had seen the Jedi done when the Lasat had gotten to overeager in sparring and slammed the teen over the head a bit to hard, Ezra not managing to block it.

"They'll come for us. They'll come for YOU Ezra. You just need to have faith in them. Kanan will come for you." He murmured, eyeing the paleness overtaking the tan skin as he cleaned the blood of the teens chin with his coat's sleeve. He could replace his coat later if there was a later, but he could not replace a padawan.

"...Kanan...I want Kanan..." Ezra shuddered and closed his eyes, a quiver going through his whole soul.

'Kanan...help...'


	26. It moves (part 2)

Teal eyes snapped open as he stared at the bunk over him before he threw himself out of the bed, pulling on his clothes quicker then he had done anything else in the world.

His steps took him out of the Ghost in almost a sprint, the Jedi moving through the command ship catching the attention of those around , his hurried moves to the command central causing whispers to rise and travel the ship to where the rest of the Ghost crew were, bringing them away from their activities.

Kanan burst into the central, eyes catching Hera the moment she looked up, the Twi'lek replaying Commander Sato's last message.

"This is Commander Sato, we have been ambushed and Ezra is already down. I repeat, we are caught in a pincer move, the relief mission was nothing but a charade and Ezra is down. Ezra is down and we are caught. There is a Star Destroyer above us."

Teal eyes hardened and Hera nodded to him.

"...Rex, we're going to need your help." Kanan twirled on his heel, storming back to the Ghost, the rest of the crew and Rex falling into step behind him. Ahsoka remained behind to be the leader the Rebellion needed in case...in case of the worst scenario.

She could however send other fighters with them as backup.

"Is he..."

"Alive, but fading, fast. He...I don't know what's going on. He's in pain, he's screaming but he doesn't feel hurt at the same time. It feels like he's sick." Kanan frowned hard, trying to reach out only to encounter shield upon shield on Ezra's side. Yet they didn't feel natural in the same way his student usually did.

It felt like he was trying to keep something out. Yet wasn't managing it and was just throwing up one shield after the other in a desperate attempt to block it out.

"He's fighting something but I can't...he won't let me IN. He can't understand its me, whatever is happening he's not in his right state of mind." Kanan growled as Hera threw herself into her pilot chair, the Ghost disengaging from the command ship.

She noted that several ships were following them, inwardly grateful for the backup.

"Karabast...kid knows how to get himself into a pickle." Zeb growled quietly.

"He is a Jedi. Jedi's usually knew how to get themselves into trouble." Rex said lightly, but his tone didn't reflect the seriousness of his face. "Padawan's more then any of them. Usually had a Master there though, if not their own then another to help them..." He sighed.

"Yeah well, there aren't that many of left anymore." Kanan growled before looking at Hera. "They should still be in orbit around the fake mission planet. Or so the Force tells me. Ezra is still there at least, I can tell that much but I don't know if Commander Sato and the rest are there."

"Guess we can only hope." Hera started transmitting to their backup where they were going before launching into hyperdrive. "Hopefully...we'll get there in time."

()()()()()

Ezra was getting worse. The pulses no longer came when he twitched and he was no longer spitting up blood but sweat was rolling of his body in waves and his skin had taken a distinct yellow tone to it along with the whites of his eyes. His breath rasped as he tried to breath and his eyes were far gone to his fever that had leveled out but remained high. Occasionally he'd mumble, a word or two familiar before it was lost as he lost himself back to the fever that was raging his body.

Yet worst of all was a slight rise to the teens stomach. Sato hadn't noticed it the first hour but after the second he could tell a slight difference in the skinny teen's frame and after the third it had been obvious enough for all of them.

'A thing. It moves, its not organic but it moves...get it out of me...' Sato's mind repeated for him, swallowing heavily as he carefully wiped Ezra's to hot forehead again with the coat sleeve. "Ezra, can you still hear us?" He murmured, absently noting the quiet of the rest of his group.

"...Kanan?" Ezra rasped.

"...No lad."

"...Hera?"

"...No. I'm sorry Ezra, they aren't here yet." Sato squeezed a thin shoulder.

Ezra's eyes flickered to stare at him, blinking slowly. "Kanan." There was a moment's silence and then Ezra spoke up again. "Dad?" He rasped and Sato lost any words he could get out as blue eyes closed again. The silence in the small cell felt almost ominous.

"...Sir, I'm not sure how much longer he can hold on. Not with that...thing inside of him, growing." Sato looked up at his Lieutenant and nodded. "I know. We have to be patient though. We can do nothing inside this cell unless one of you have developed powers or tools out of nothing?" The rest traded looks before resignedly settling.

"If he dies, what's the Jedi going to do?" One of them asked suddenly.

"...A good question. One I do not have a answer for. But the Empire was the ones who did this. My best guess? He would do something terribly heroic and terribly foolish." Sato sighed. He knew, while powerful, the Jedi's were not infallible, their demise had proven that.

He carefully wiped away another bead of sweat, absently wondering how the child was even producing anymore fluids while making sure the fever had not risen anymore. He jerked however as there was noises of gunfire in the hall outside their cells, staring at it. "...Ezra, they're here." He called, squeezing the thin shoulder but getting no response except for the irregular shallow breaths that escaped the padawn.

That was not good. If there was any time they needed to be rescued it was NOW.

As if his prayers were answered, the door hissed open to reveal the large Lasat, the man grinning at them with his bo-rifle in hand.

But the grin faded as he got a good look at them all. "Oh karabast." He hissed, luminous green eyes focused on the human on the ground.

"They took him away hours ago and returned him again, he was like this then and he's been getting worse." Sato said as Zeb stepped in, picking up the teen with care. "He said they put something inside him."

Zeb looked up sharply at that and then nodded. "Chopper has weapons for some of you. We need to move, there are several cells lose on the Star Destroyer Commander but we don't know how long we can handle keeping the Stormtroopers at bay." He spoke even as he felt the heat of Ezra's body through the clothes, he hurriedly got rid of the handcuffs and threw them away, settling Ezra against him in a all to horribly familiar unconscious state.

Karabast! He knew that wasn't good, Ezra didn't look, smell or feel right at all.

"We need to go then." Sato got a blaster from the droid, hurrying after the Lasat to meet another team further down the hall. No Jedi yet but he may be doing something to sabotage the Star Destroyer for all Sato knew.

Perhaps it was just as well that Kanan Jarrus had yet to see his padawan.

"Sabine! We need some of your work down this hall!" Zeb growled as a stormtrooper team cut them of from the main group.

There wasn't a verbal answer but the hallway started smoking colorfully after a few seconds of continuous blasts, the Mandolarian laughing happily on the other side as they took out the stormtroopers. Her laugh stopped abruptly when she saw the state of Ezra. "What did they do to him?" She hissed, her vocoder picking up on her agitation.

"Don't know. Said they placed something inside him." Zeb continued moving with the group, holding Ezra to him as they ran. "Signal Kanan that we found them and for Hera and the rest of the fleet to be ready." He grumbled.

They arrived at a war zone of a hanger bay, but with the weapons that had been picked up along the way in their scramble to get to the hanger, the troopers there were caught in the crossfire. Zeb kept his arms around the boy in his arms, for once letting others do the fighting for him, to worried to let him down.

And then Kanan came bounding into the hanger bay, teal eyes swirling around to see a blue eyed bright boy in orange only to find him tucked in Commander Sato's coat in Zeb's arms. Long legs brought him over faster then Zeb had ever seen the Jedi move.

"He's not good Kanan, I don't know..." He trailed off, watching the man kneel down to touch Ezra, the teen barely reacting to the touch, his yellowish hot skin soaked with sweat and dried blood on his lips.

"..." Something dark passed through those teal eyes and Zeb swore the air around them went colder as Kanan slowly stood. "We're getting to the Ghost." He said calmly, before moving around the crate, flickering his lightsaber.

The Force thrummed through him as Kanan let himself be immersed in it, tilting his body and head as the blasters focused on him. He barely registered them, doing only what the Force was telling him to do, moving with purpose that could have scared Siths of old out of his path.

What does a Master do for a padawan?

They nurtured and prepared. Protected and guided. Taught and educated.

What does a father do for a son?

Anything the world demanded and then some.

Kanan moved with purpose, guided through the Force as he moved between the ranks of the Imperials, not letting himself second guess or despair, he didn't have the time for it. He avoided friendly and unfriendly fire, his lightsaber swishing through the air, blocking shots and cutting blasters, taking out each and every target until no enemy stood between them and the ships.

He turned, eyes focusing on where Zeb and Sabine was hurrying after him, the Lasat carrying his precious burden as carefully as possible despite running.

"The Ghost." Kanan said shortly, adrenalin and the Force pumping through him.

Thanks to the sabotage of the drivers, they escaped into hyperdrive.

But Kanan's focus was on Ezra, the way he felt.

"What did they do to him?" Hera stared at them before coming down into the cargo, Chopper in charge of piloting.

"Commander said they put something inside him."

Kanan glanced at Zeb then removed the coat, staring at the cut up flightsuit, the cauterized wound on Ezra's swollen stomach.

"...Karabast..."

"Oh by the First Light..."

Kanan stared. "...Sabine and Hera, get bacta gel, a viroscalpel and gauze from the medbay. Zeb, Rex...you two need to hold him down. Hera, I need boiled water and towels after you get what I need from the medbay. Sabine, I need you to inform the rest of the ships that the detonations inside the Star Destroyer have been set and are ready to be exploded."

"...Kanan wha-."

"It needs to come out." Kanan said shortly.

"...You're going to..."

"That or he dies." Kanan was working on autopilot. That thing, whatever it was, needed to get out of Ezra or they lost Ezra. And he needed everyone to do their part even if it was just to keep them busy.

"Zeb, Rex, hold him and hold him tightly." The Lasat and clone moved into position, looking at Kanan. "...You're sure mate?"

"Yes." Kanan looked at him then lightly brushed his fingers against Ezra's sweat soaked hair. "Or we lose him for good." He accepted the scalpel from Sabine, absently noting Hera was putting down the rest of the supplies he had asked for before moving to the rest of their tasks.

His focus however was on the cauterized wound. "...Hold him down, if he moves..."

Kanan leaned in and started cutting along the line of the cauterized wound, mentally apologizing to his padawan as he groaned and twitched against the cargo floor. Blood oozed around his hands but he focused on carefully opening Ezra, noting Zeb twitch as a smell of infection hit them, noting Rex's hissing breath, noting Sabine cursing, noted Hera small gasp when she returned but his focus was on that gray thing inside of Ezra's insides, burrowed inside his padawan.

It felt wrong. It felt like Ezra yet it felt wrong and as Kanan reached in, grabbing around the middle of it and pulling, it struggled to remain where it was before it was out and into the air. It was the size of Kanan's fist, four inches long and looked like a angry gray worm covered in blood but looking closer he could tell parts of it was pink.

It had been using Ezra's flesh to grow.

He threw it into the box Hera was holding ready for the thing before focusing sharply back on his shallowly breathing padawan, pulling his lightsaber. "Kana-"

He adjusted the length and carefully sealed the wound shut with the lightsaber before grabbing the bacta gel and spraying it onto the wound, ignoring them talking to him. Kanan glanced at Ezra's face to see it smoothing out, no longer scrunched up in pain. He was still breathing, still there and he could FEEL the Force inside him.

He quickly rubbed his hands on his own pants before he took the bandages, Zeb carefully propping Ezra to sit up and get the top half of the flightsuit of him. Kanan slowly rolled the white gauze around the teens tender stomach. He absently noted that sitting up like that, Ezra's breathing got a bit deeper or that could be his imagination.

And then he sat back, staring at Ezra, still alive, skin still tinged with yellow, still warm but there, alive.

And then he promptly turned to the side to throw up in the cargo hold of the Ghost which was why he had not gone to the medbay to do this. Absently he noted the blood on his hands, Ezra's blood as his stomach emptied everything he'd ever consumed in what felt like the span of forever.

He felt a careful hand rub his back, shaking hard until the revulsion had finally stopped. "He...he needs a...Iv and...and..."

"Shh Kanan, we got it. We got it." Hera whispered softly, glancing to see Rex pick up Ezra and nod before turning back to the Jedi. "Its alright Kanan, we got him."

* * *

Author note: (snug as a bug in her hotel room) tada XD


	27. When it stops moving

They had gotten Ezra to the main ships rather quickly, the ragtag team of cruisers, smaller ships and outdated models drifting along rather merrily as they arrived. The kid has spent a day in a bacta tank, no more required to speed the healing thanks to Kanan's rapid response though the droid had confirmed that whatever had happened to him would have ended Ezra had it not been removed.

It didn't exactly make Kanan feel any better as he stood in front of the tank and watched Ezra float, the dark hair drifting around his head as the mask supplied him with air, all his scars on display for anyone who walked in. Ezra would have hated it if he was awake.

The droid and doctor monitoring him informed Kanan that Ezra would be fine, that no one needed to stand watch.

He had given them the long yard stare and then gone back to watching his padawan, arms crossed over his chest, wearing a spar set of clothes since the other was...

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He didn't need to think about what his other clothes were covered in. It would be gone once they've gone through a washing cycle and the red evidence would be gone.

"Kanan?" He glanced at Hera and nodded to her. "He needs to stay in there for a day. Just...in case." The pilot hummed and nodded at that before glancing at him. "You need to eat now. And sleep. Ezra is safe in there, in this ship and he would want you to take care of yourself." She said seriously. "He'll be awake tomorrow."

Kanan hesitated before nodding and following her.

Only...Ezra wasn't awake the next day.

Or the day after that.

Or the next several days.

Kanan had started haunting the medbay, sitting by Ezra's bed, watching the still lightly pale skinned teen, wishing he was still a golden tan. 'Once he wakes up...' He sighed and leaned forward, gently brushing his fingers over a lax hand, glancing up when Sabine came in. "Its not your turn yet." He blinked, puzzled before grumbling when he saw a tray in her hands. "I...forgot dinner." He sighed resignedly.

"Yup. Hera sent me up." She smiled and gave the tray to Kanan, letting him start eating as she looked to Ezra, petting the others hair gently. "His bruises look better at least, the black eye has healed nicely from where he got his temple bashed in." She noted. "Any changes though?"

"None. The doctor is theorizing that he's shut himself in because of...that thing I removed from him." Kanan gritted his teeth and took a deep breath through his nose before continuing to eat. "Which might be true, that thing wrecked havoc on Ezra's Force."

"Zeb mentioned that." She murmured quietly then glanced at Kanan. "Could you...wake him through the Force? I mean...encourage him to wake up?"

"...Every time I try, I meet a wall of fear and darkness." Teal eyes glanced at the steadily breathing teen. "He's in there though. I know he is. He just needs to wake up on his own terms unless I manage to get in there somehow."

He gave the empty tray back to her and settled a bit, reaching for Ezra's hand and holding it gently, stroking the top of it with his thumb.

"Hmm, I'll...come tomorrow so you can go to the Ghost, you don't want Hera to drag you to it again." Sabine smiled and patted Kanan on the shoulder, giving it a little squeeze before moving on out.

The Jedi snorted before sighing and settling again, watching Ezra. '...Come on kiddo...wake up for us...' He barely noticed it as he settled his head down on the bed and fell asleep, head less then a inch from those lax fingers.

()()()()()()()()()()

'Ezra?'

The child curled in tighter on himself, whimpering quietly as he hid his face in his legs. He was scared. He didn't know why but he was scared. Everything felt wrong. He pulled himself further into his hiding place and the dark.

'Ezra, please, its me.'

That voice sounded familiar but he couldn't move, hiding under the table in the dark of a house that no longer existed. Why didn't the house exist anymore? Why was it so very dark?

'Ezra I' here, I won't let the dark take you.'

People always said that and then they disappeared into the dark themselves. Always leaving him alone in his own darkness.

'No Ezra, I won't. We won't...but you need to come out Ezra.'

Ezra heard a noise and lifted his head from his knees slowly, light flowing in slowly as he did, staring at the man kneeling in front of the table, his dark hand held out to Ezra with a gentle, familiar smile.

'Come out Ezra, I'm not leaving without you.'

Tender teal eyes stared at him, waiting, patient.

Ezra slowly lifted a small hand towards the bigger one, hesitating before placing it into it. 'Kanan?'

'Yeah kiddo...we're going back now.' Kanan smiled and drew him out into the light.

()()()()()()()

Blue eyes opened to stare at the white ceiling above him, absently noting the sterile smell and medication in the air, taking in how heavy his body felt and how it was reclined against the back in a half sitting position, as if he had fallen asleep in a chair.

As sensation returned to the teen he felt terribly sore around the stomach and heavy in the head, gauze wrapped around both areas he was feeling and a Iv drip connected to his left hand. Vaguely he remembered the Star Destroyer, the doctor and the Imperial but something told him he was safe and didn't need to rush to action.

His fingers twitched and he looked down in surprise, feeling soft hair against his fingertips. Blue eyes stared at the head resting on Ezra's bedside on the owner of the head's own arms, dark hair brushing against his fingers as the teen moved them again.

Kanan. It was Kanan.

They had come for him.

Ezra smiled slowly, fingers creeping to stroke the mans hair, noting how it was down and out of its usual ponytail. And a bit greasy. The Jedi looked exhausted and had a blanket covering his shoulders, dark rings were obvious around his eyes but else he looked fine and Ezra could honestly say that in that moment he'd never seen anything that made him as happy as Kanan's sleep slacked face.

Slowly he stroked the others hair, burying his fingers into it, as his mind tried to pierce together everything but drawing up blanks after he had been thrown into the cell on the Star Destroyer with Commander Sato.

He glanced about, taking in the area. The window told him they were on a spaceship as he could see out at the stars but he wasn't sure which, only that it wasn't the Ghost as it didn't have this big a medbay.

Perhaps one of the ships that senator Bail Organa had given them?

It was safe at least. That was the important thing.

A twitch and groan made him look back down to Kanan, watching the other wake slowly and blink. "...Hey?" He rasped, grinning wryly as Kanan sat up sharply, the blanket falling of his shoulders, staring at him as Ezra settled his hands back in his lap. "...Missed me?" He added, meeping when the older man wrapped his arms around him, holding.

"Yes." Kanan whispered hoarsely in return, holding tightly, feeling the living breathing being that was Ezra awake. "You wouldn't wake up. You've been here a week and you wouldn't wake up." He gingerly touched Ezra's hair, illogically terrified that he'd send the boy back by just touching him.

Then he pulled back before Ezra could lift his own hands, cupping the boys face as he examined it. "You wouldn't wake up Ezra, we...I..." He swallowed. "...I need to get the doctor, they'll want to know you're awake."

Ezra lifted his hand and wrapped it around the others wrist, shaking his head. "D-Don't go." He rasped hurriedly and sighed in relief when Kanan stayed put.

"...The doctor can wait a few more moments." Kanan agreed to Ezra's unspoken request of more time. The teen relaxed and then leaned into the hand when the other returned it to Ezra's cheek. He stroked his thumb carefully underneath the others eye, watching him. "...I don't know how much you remember."

"After being thrown into the cell with the Commander...very little." Ezra leaned into the touch.

"Do you remember what the Empire did?" Kanan questioned, watching Ezra's face grow queasy as he touched his stomach. "...Its not in me anymore, is it?"

"No. I...I had to cut you open Ezra. I had to...take it out of you." He said quietly.

"So its gone? Its..."

"The Rebellions scientists have it. Its a nasty piece of tech. It was...using your insides to build itself." Kanan murmured. "They want to study it so they know what it is and how to combat it if the...doctor left any notes." Kanan grimaced at having to even call the man that. That man hadn't deserved the title and if he had survived the ship's core exploding, he'd hunt him down and...he took a deep breath and focused on Ezra. "So they have the parasite."

He didn't like the idea of that thing even existing still and from the look on Ezra's face, he agreed. But they both understood the need to be able to understand and fight it if worst came to worst.

"How do you feel? Are you thirsty or hungry?" Kanan realized he hadn't posed that question yet.

"Thirsty yes, hungry...no. I feel sore but not in pain." The teen sighed.

The Jedi nodded in understanding, using the hand that was not cupping Ezra's cheek to reach for the water mug and pour water into a cup. He gave it over to Ezra and watched the teen hold it with trembling hands, taking minor sips.

"...You cut it out of me?" Ezra looked at him, his voice a bit stronger thanks to having water.

"...In the cargo bay of the Ghost. I...you were so feverish, and you were turning yellow." The older man swallowed. "Jaundiced. Commander Sato said you'd run out of energy a hour before we got there and barely responded by then. And you were fading, I could feel you fading away. The Force was fading. I..." Kanan took a deep breath.

"...Thank you." Ezra whispered. "Its...good to know you always have my back, even...even in that kind of situation." He managed to quirk a small smile, Kanan feeling the muscles of the cheek pull as he did.

It made him smile in return, stroking Ezra's cheek. "I always have your back Ezra, nothing stops me from getting my padawan back." He said quietly, resting his forehead against Ezra's gauze covered one.

Ezra closed his eyes, settling into the quiet of their breathing, assured by the quietly fluctuating feeling of the Force around them. "...I think I saw you." He whispered. "Before I woke...I... was alone in the dark and..."

Kanan hummed at that. "I told you...I'm not leaving you." He said quietly. "The Empire can't take you away from me, I won't let them." Ezra smiled at that keeping his eyes shut for the moment.

Though he opened them when he heard the doors hiss open, pulling his head away from Kanan to look towards it. He grinned when he saw Sabine and Hera, the latter with a tray full of food.

"Ezra..." She gasped, stepping in quickly, Sabine following quickly with Zeb and Chopper following quickly after. "You're awake!" Zeb grinned at him.

"Sure am. Missed me you smelly Lasat?" Ezra felt Kana's hand fall of his face and rest on his knee instead.

"As if." Zeb laughed while Hera gave the tray to the Jedi, a firm order of 'eat' issued before she went back to cooing at Ezra, her hand resting on his other thigh. Sabine moved to Kana's side and brushed his shoulder, beaming at him as Zeb took the spot beside Hera, his hand lingering on Ezra¨s other shoulder.

Chopper beeped at the foot of the bed and a thin mechanical hand patted at his calf.

He laughed quietly, feeling his family around him. This was home.

* * *

Author note: And now the recovery heh


	28. I'm with you

They hadn't anticipated to getting lost or separated from the others but that was what had happened on the planet they had landed on. An Outer Rim planet that wasn't fully explored, they were suppose to search it for sources of fresh water for the Rebellion and possible locations for bases.

So he, Kanan, Sabine and Zeb headed out in the Phantom while Hera and Chopper ran diagnostic and cleaned the Ion scorching from the underbelly of the Ghost.

At one point they had found a area that looked like it might contain fresh water and had landed to search, splitting up into two teams and going in each their direction. Kanan of course stayed close to Ezra, seeing at this wash is first mission since the parasite had been removed. Commander Sato had looked a bit hesitant, his shoulders tense until he realized what mission they were going out on, even smiling a bit to Hera before giving his all go.

The Commander had apparently been affected by Ezra's state and didn't want to see him return to it again as quickly. But the young teen had started to get antsy after just a week in the medical wing and Hera had finally relented and went for one of the easier missions on offer. Just a scouting for resources and perhaps bases.

Now though, Kanan was regretting it. Because after about a hour of walking, a storm had hit and a pack of wild and rather large carnivores had started tracking them, they reminded the Jedi about a mix of tigers and horses at the same time but much bigger then either animals. Kanan hurried Ezra along, the teen stumbling a bit here and there but not objecting. He was to tired to use the Force to control it, his handle on it to strange and awkward since he had woken up less then two weeks ago and Kanan was not able to control the whole pack of big carnivores alone.

"Quicker Ezra...these things sound hungry." Kanan reached for his lightsaber.

"I...I know." Ezra panted as he climbed over a few rocks before abruptly stopping. "Kanan, this is dead end, a cliff." Ezra still hurried forward as they couldn't go backwards with those things behind them. He reached for his own lightsaber now as Kanan followed after him.

"Great. Guess is stand and defend then." Kanan growled quietly, keeping Ezra behind him as they backed up towards the edge, his lightsaber activated with a low hum, hearing the same one behind him.

"They...look angry. Or well hungry...they FEEL hungry." Ezra murmured warily as rain pummeled down against their bodies.

"I haven't seen a lot of prey animals." Kanan answered grimly as the carnivores came over the rock. "They might be to fast or they might fly. We must look delicious to them." He settled on.

Ezra wanted to return something witty to that only to yelp and shot as the first one lounged at them. Only it shook of the blast and snarled angrily at them. "I don't think these will be stunned Ezra!"

"No, I think you're ri-WATCH OUT!" Ezra cried out as two of them pounced, steadily driving them both back until...Ezra's stepped out into nothingness, yelping loudly. Kanan turned quickly, deactivating his blade as he reached for his padawan, gripping his arm only to be pulled forward too, both going out into free fall down the cliff.

Ezra's eyes were wide in fear, flailing with his legs and free arm before he was jerked up and into Kanan's arms, tucked into the others chest. "K-Kanan!?"

The Jedi didn't answer and Ezra felt them shift and halfway slow down thanks to the Force but now Kanan's back was suddenly facing downwards towards the ground with Ezra on top of him. "Hold on." Kanan hissed, gritting his teeth as he tried to slow the impact some more, his fingers digging deeply into Ezra's back.

The teen didn't even have time to protest before they hit.

And they hit hard.

Kanan felt the air being forced out of his lungs and Ezra press down on his ribs. But worst was the pressure that went through his right leg before it snapped, making him let out a guttural yell of pain before he quieted down, feeling rain hit him in the face as the wind picked up, trying to focus on just his breathing.

Ezra laid against him, stunned before the teen started to shift slowly on top of him, lifting his head to look at Kanan, blue eyes wide in fear and shock. "A-Are you alright?"

The older man wanted to reassure him, to ease the worry he saw in those eyes but he knew he wasn't alright. "No...I think my leg broke and my ribs are aching." He managed to wheeze out as Ezra shifted of him. "And my back is burning..." He panted out, trying to get air into him.

Ezra swallowed and shifted more to the side, hissing as he saw Kanan's leg, twisted in a unnatural angle over a rock. "No, no you're not fine." He got out too before looking around, their clothes getting soaked from the storm. "There's...a cave over there." He got up, holding out his hands to Kanan. "Lean on me, I'll get you there." He glanced warily up. "I don't think those things will follow down...unless they know a quicker route down." Ezra added dryly as he took Kanan's hands, carefully pulling his Master up on his feet.

"Mmmn, don't jinx it Ezra." Kanan panted, shaking a bit as leaned on Ezra's smaller figure. "Are you alright?"

"Shaken and my stomach feels sore but else good." Ezra started moving towards the cave opening he had spotted, carefully guiding Kanan along. "I don't think I'm hurt, you took the brunt of the impact...Hera is going to be so worried." He frowned deeply. "...At least we're not sharing the cave with a stinky wet Lasat?" He gave Kanan a half grin.

Kanan snorted dryly at that then groaned at how it made his ribs feel. "Yeah...I guess."

Ezra frowned at the groan and continued guiding Kanan along, inwardly panicking at the injuries. He could try to set the leg, he could rip up his vest or his flightsuit. Find some longer sticks. And he'd have to check Kanan's back for injuries, just in case. His ribs would need a look at too. Ezra wasn't a healer but he could check for bruises at least.

He stopped at the cave entrance though and tried to slowly reach out, to feel for life before giving a frustrated grunt. "I can't..."

Kanan shifted and held out his hand instead, eyes closed. "...Its empty." He murmured and Ezra gave a low sigh of relief as he lead his master into the caves, slowly moving them inwards to get away from the rain that was pouring down. "I don't know if we can light a fire..." He murmured worriedly.

"I think everything is to wet out there...we can get light at least Ezra." The older man assured gently, feeling the light panic from the bond.

"Yea, right, we can." Ezra awkwardly looked around then cursed, looking back towards the outside. "I...I dropped mine."

"Call it to you then." Kanan eyed Ezra, smiling at those blue eyes.

The teen licked his lips then nodded and shifted halfway towards the opening, holding out his hand, focusing again. The same feeling returned but this time he could actually get his lightsaber to come to him. The awkwardness in the Force inside him was still to touch and feel but he could at least manage this.

"You can do this Ezra, I know...I believe in you." The other squeezed Ezra's shoulder carefully as they found a spot that was dry to sit down. Ezra carefully settled Kanan down, staring at him. "I'm not sure about that but I'll try...I'll get some sticks so I can try and set your leg. You try to radio the others." He waited for Kanan to pull his own lightsaber before moving towards the storm and rain again.

He quickly found the right sticks for the job then hurried back, feeling the water soak into his bones.

He found some sticks that would be solid yet long enough to keep Kanan's leg stretched and firmed and hurried back, using his lightsaber until he was at Kanan's side, kneeling down on the cold, unforgiving rocks as he did. "Okay, I...this might hurt Kanan." He gave the older man a quick look.

"I know. But it needs to be done." Kanan took a deep breath and leaned back, gritting his teeth as Ezra took of his vest and started ripping it up for makeshift bandages. "I'll get you a new of those."

"Would appreciate it." Ezra gave a shaky laugh and then reached down, giving Kanan a look before quickly settling the leg and starting to wrap, focusing on that and not Kanan's yell of pain. Instead he made sure to make the makeshift bandages tight around the wood and the leg, settling the leg before reaching for the bottom of Kanan's shirt and pulling it up, critically eyeing the ribs and lightly touching them, listening to the mans hisses and short breaths.

"They...they're bruised from what I can tell. But your legs the worst, its broken. You're gonna need the bone knitter and some strong painkillers when we get back to the ships." He said quietly. "Lean forward so I can check your back?"

Kanan carefully did so, feeling Ezra's smaller hands carefully touch him.

"You're gonna bruise...badly." The teen decided, touching the already deeply reddening back before pulling back. "Did you try radioing for Hera or the others?" He asked as the Jedi settled back again.

"Yes, but I couldn't come through. Storm is scrambling it, you can feel the static in the air." Kanan sighed then reached out and pulled Ezra to him, holding him against his side. "Its going to get chilly." He said softly.

Ezra didn't protest, settling against the other. "Yeah...and we're soaked." He sighed. "At least its not my tower during tornado season." He mused, shifting a bit closer to Kanan's warm side. "It used to shake and rattle, sometimes I thought it was going to give." He sighed a bit.

"...It was that unsteady?" Kanan murmured, tightening his arm around the teen.

"Felt like it, it was built ages ago and I don't think anyone bothered to maintain it for at least ten years. At least not as long as I lived there." Ezra shrugged, tucking his face into Kanan's side while shivering a bit, the rain was cooling against his skin and it was not fun.

Kanan stared down at the dark mop of hair that was plastered against Ezra's skull. "...It kept going though, and you had water?" He rubbed a shoulder slowly, ignoring the ache as best as he could.

"I collected rain water?" Ezra shrugged slower this time. "And sometimes I bought water jugs in town if possible. I did what I had to." He whispered, barely heard over the storm raging outside the cave.

Kanan sighed and nodded, tucking the other close. "You did what you had to. I'm glad. You survived and you're here."

"Might die here too." Ezra chirped.

"...Not a optimistic thought."

"Well we don't know how long this storm is. You're hurt." Ezra pointed out logically.

"It will end, we know that."

"...A warm shower back on the Ghost sounds nice...or on the rebel ships. Not picky about where." Ezra murmured, feeling adrenalin leave his system.

"I'd settle for a doctor and some painkillers." Kanan snorted then sighed. "But yes, a shower too, long and warm..."

"...Kanan I think there's rain in my shoes."

"Mine too. But we can handle it...try resting a bit Ezra." Kanan murmured, his eyes already shut. Ezra looked up at him then blinked, noting how tired he looked before shifting discreetly, keeping himself awake. "Mmmn..."

Quietly he watched the other man fall asleep, taking steady breathes until he knew Kanan was asleep, the Jedi lax against the cave walls. "Its alright Kanan...I'll keep a eye out...just in case." He murmured quietly.

He kept himself awake, sometimes shifting closer to Kanan's side and sometimes trying akwardly to reach out with what control he was slowly starting to grasp with his Force, soothing Kanan's sleeping one.

Ezra kept his eye on the cave opening, in case those carnivores actually did smell them out. And for the storm to end.

He listened to it hammer out and the thunder that followed, counting quietly to hear how far away it was before settling again. Slowly though, the thunder passed over them and went further and further away until only a light drizzle still remained outside.

Ezra took the chance to call for Hera then, sighing in relief as he got contact. They had been gone for five hours, Sabine and Zeb had returned with the Phantom only moments before to inform Hera that they couldn't find Kanan and Ezra.

"We in a cave, can you track our position? Kanan's hurt."

"Hurt?" She sounded worried.

"We...we fell down a cliff side. Kanan took the brunt of the impact, he broke his leg and his back and ribs are bruised." He glanced hurriedly at the Jedi. "He's still asleep right now, but he doesn't look worse of?"

"We're on our way Ezra. And you?"

"Shaken? My stomach feels sore? And I'm tired because I kept awake in case of those carnivores who chased us of the cliff returned. But else I'm good...cold though, rain soaked us both to the bone." He sighed.

"We'll be there in less then fifteen minute Ezra, wake Kanan and we'll come fetch you two in the cave." She sounded tender. He could imagine the smile on her face.

He wondered...would his parents smile the same way if he had done this?

Perhaps...he could know one day.

For now he carefully woke Kanan, smiling to him. They were getting a pickup.

"You don't have to worry Kanan, they're coming for us." He grinned.

"I wasn't worried...I was with you." Kanan smiled tiredly.

Ezra didn't have a answer for that.

* * *

Author note: Eh, just something fluffy, we need it sometimes


	29. Its our weird family

It hurt.

That was the only thing he really understood. He had allowed himself to hope and now he hurt so badly deep into his stomach.

They were gone. Gone from the world because of Ezra.

Ezra clenched his hands together, feeling them tremble but being unable to stop them. He knew his message of hope had brought a lot of good with it, a lot of people was free because of it and had brought those who heard it hope of a different future.

But it had lead to the death of Mira and Ephraim Bridger.

They had broken out but gotten separated and stayed behind to ensure others came out and hadn't left the prison at all. Killed in a escape attempt that had started because of Ezra's words, mirroring the ones they had said so long ago when Ezra had been so young.

His shoulders trembled as guilt seeped through his spine and into his stomach now that he had time to think and was no longer focused on the mission, the guilt leaving a coldness so profound that Ezra didn't know if he could ever get warm again as he dropped his face into his hands.

He heard the door open but couldn't move from his bunk, his whole body shaking. 'They're...alive inside me...I... I...I just need to...remember...remember...Oh First light...they're gone!' He let out a small sob into his hands.

"Karabast...Ezra?" A warm furry hand was suddenly on his shoulders before he was lifted of the bunk and against a much larger and warmer chest of a Lasat.

Ezra wanted to talk, to assure Zeb but all that came out was another heartbreaking sob against the others chest.

"Oh karabast...kid..." The other sighed and sat down on his own bunk, holding Ezra tightly. If he knew where Kanan was, he'd get him. Or Hera, they were better then him at this comforting thing but they were out somewhere, perhaps talking to Commander Sato and...it was clear Ezra needed someone right now and best option was him he guessed.

He was pretty sure Ezra didn't' want Sabine to see him crying. And Chopper wasn't exactly any better then him at comforting.

So he let the teen cry against his chest, slowly rubbing his back with a careful hand, feeling whole body tremors go through the lithe frame as Ezra hands slowly curled into the fabric underneath him.

"They're gone...they're gone and its all my fault..." He hiccuped.

"No, no its not. Ezra you-"

"If I hadn't sent out that stupid message they wouldn't have tried to escape! I could have...I could have saved them! They...they wouldn't have escaped..." Ezra wanted to scream but all he could do was dissolve into more tears against the others warm chest.

Zeb sighed, ears flickering before drawing himself and Ezra back against the wall of his bunk, squeezing him slightly.

"...Guilt a terrible thing Ezra." He murmured quietly, a blast and the sound of screams in his ears before he shook it away, focusing on the teen on his lap. "It eats you up if you let it..." He listened to the strained sobs for a few more moments.

"...Do you honestly think your parents would have tried to escape at some point even without the broadcast? Don't you think that to hear you, your voice, to know you were alive was enough for them to be happy?" He brushed his fingers through the others dark hair, feeling a bit of relief to hear the others sobs quiet down slowly.

'Karabast...how do you mend a broken heart? Hera where are you?' He thought as he slowly continued brushing his fingers through the dark strands. "You can't let guilt eat you up, you've done so many things for so many people, so much good and I don't know about you but from everything I know, I think they would be proud of you."

Ezra shuddered and tucked harder into Zeb, curling up as small as he could.

"...I just wanted to see them...I wanted...wanted to see them so badly. I...thought..." He swallowed. "...I let myself hope...I...I thought...this time...they were alive, they lived...they..." He shook. "And I can't even bury them..."

"...But you can remember them." Zeb murmured quietly, dragging a blanket to them and wrapping it around Ezra, tilting the others face up to dry tears carefully, his face set in serious lines. "You can carry those memories around and honor them as best you can. Be it to light a candle every year on their days. Or to just think of them and all the fondness you have for them." He peered into those blue eyes that were red rimmed from the tears.

"...We've all lost something somewhere along the road Ezra. Along this damn path the Empire set us all on. But you're stronger then them. And your parents knew that, you are every inch their son, son of people who spoke out."

Ezra's adams apple bobbed as he swallowed, staring at Zeb.

"And you're every inch a part of this family. We aren't going anywhere. We'll keep fighting this fight as long as we got each others. We can continue what your parents started back in their little home on Lothal, to make a better future for those who comes after us."

The two stared at each others for several moments before Ezra buried himself back against the Lasat's warm chest, shaking still but no longer sobbing.

"...Thank you..." He whispered quietly.

"Yeah yeah, that's it, continue snotting my shirt up. Just let it all out." Zeb chuckled sarcastically. "Like I needed to be anymore smelly then I already am."

"Smelly old Lasat..." Ezra whispered, sniffling a bit and smiling ever so slightly.

He wouldn't be alright today. He wouldn't be alright tomorrow.

But he could be alright eventually.

As long as he had everyone.

"Hey, call me old again and lets see if I bother sharing space waffles with you again." Zeb chuckled quietly then squeezed Ezra carefully to him.

"...Zeb?"

"Yeah kid?"

"Thank you."

"Yeah, well...I get first dibs on the fresher tomorrow and...errg...sorry for hitting you so hard when you were a 'cadet'."

"Its fine...just don't do it again and deal, fresher first." He snuggled in, closing his eyes.

"Heh, sleep well blueberry."

* * *

Author note: Figured I'd add a bit more meat to this...poor Ezra and Zeb knows a thing or two about surviving guilt


	30. A little neon

"You need a haircut." Sabine said critically.

Ezra almost dropped his spoon in surprise, staring at her over his cereal as the noises of the rebel cafeteria flowed around them.

"Huh?" He offered, less then intelligent he'd admit as he blinked at her.

The Mandelorian rolled her eyes before gesturing. "If you're not growing it out, you need to cut it, its starting to look tangled and less then nice." She explained. "Have you even cut it once since Lothal?" She frowned, she couldn't remember Hera or Kanan mentioning it.

And Zeb didn't cut hair unless you called trimming his sideburns and beard.

"I...no? I wasn't planning on going long like Kanan and I haven't cut it?" He hesitated, peering at her in return.

"Figured as much. You need a haircut." She sighed before nodding. "Alright, I'll do it."

"I'm not letting you dye my hair though. I like it as it is." Ezra quickly added, waving his hands as he left the spoon in the bowl. Sabine raised a eyebrow at him then grinned. "Not even a small stripe of orange? That washes out?" She tried, raising both eyebrows when Ezra hesitated.

"I...like orange...that...it would wash out?" He shifted, looking a tiny bit interested.

"After about four or eight washes." The Mandelorian leaned on her arms, eyeing him in interest, wondering if she got to dye some of that dark hair. "I'd have to bleach it a bit to get the color to stick properly but that would eventually come out too after about eight more washes after the orange comes out." She shrugged.

Ezra frowned a bit to himself. "So..." He did the calculations in his head. "Around two months, four first with the orange and then blond?" He looked at her.

"Depending on how many showers you take and wash your hair, yes." She reached out and flipped his hair, hiding a small smile at the slight grin he gave.

Honestly, the reason she suggested it was to get a smile out of the other. Not to really dye it but if Ezra let her...well why not, perhaps it would put a bigger smile on the others face after everything that went down on Lothal about his parents and the princess.

The other hadn't exactly been sulking but he had been...off was the best way Sabine could explain it, in a funk that didn't fit his usual self. Ezra was either a bright bubble or a moody teen, full of anger that he was trying to control in his path to become a Jedi. Lately it hadn't been either, this perpetual kind of sadness clinging to him like a second skin.

Even Chopper was starting to get effected by it.

Didn't stop him from zapping Zeb of course but he was avoiding zapping Ezra for the time being.

She watched him carefully as Ezra mulled over it. "...Can I consider it until you cut my hair later?" He asked hesitantly.

"Course. Like I said, I won't do a big piece, just a bit of orange..." She eyed his hair then reached out and tugged one of the longish strands by the ear. "Right over here, you can even tuck it behind the ear if it gets distracting." She smirked.

Ezra blushed a bit before nodding. "I'm going to get some more juice..." He got up and headed to the table with it, obviously thinking.

She watched him before getting up, already going to ready the hair dye. She was pretty sure he was going to let her do a small stripe through the hair and this way she could let the chemicals soak into each other and become a vibrant orange.

When Ezra finally came sniffing for the haircut, she was honestly starting to regret mixing it, it was going to be a deep neon orange honestly and she warned Ezra while trimming his hair. "I don't mind that. It still washes out the same way right?" He tried to peer at her only to have Sabine firmly grasp his head and keep it still.

"Yeah and stop moving or I might take a lot more hair then this." She warned firmly.

"Errg..."

"You haven't cut your hair in a long while have you." She snorted.

"No? I mean...I kind of? I...haven't had a proper haircut since I was kid and my mom did it." Ezra mumbled. Sabine stopped a bit, staring down at Ezra. "Oh?" She continued cutting slowly, just trimming the dark hair.

"Well, it was kind of hard to do it on my own so I just kind of...chopped it?" He shrugged a bit.

"How?" Sabine asked, trying to keep his tone light.

"Used a knife and a reflective surface." Ezra hummed. "Got a few scars in the back of my neck I think from accidentally cutting myself. And one on the left side on my ear." Sabine gave it a quick check, finding the scars he mentioned.

"Ah..." She had no idea what to say, the image alone made her stomach ache. 'He won't have to do it again, Hera or Kanan or me can help him. Or one of the droids I bet.' She took a deep breath then set the sisscors down, smiling at him. "Alright, want to take a look at yourself before I dye the hair?"

"Naw, I trust I look okay so you just dye it and then I can check. I need to take a shower afterward though, right?"

"Yup, wash out the hair dye at least and you should take a shower just to clear out any hair that might have slipped under the collar. You might as well throw your clothes in the laundry and slip into nightclothes." She said lightly.

After fifteen minutes of careful application, the orange dye was in the hair and solidly clear, a bright neon orange in Ezra's hair as he peered at himself in the hand held mirror Sabine had. "I look...good." He grinned and looked up at her.

"Well, wait half a hour, go shower and then you can decide that." She snorted and waved him away, taking the vacuum to get rid of all the hair.

Ezra hesitated then gave her a quick hug before fleeing to the shower, leaving Sabine frozen in spot before she snorted and smiled after his back. "Yeah...you're welcome." She hummed.

The stripe came out a wonderfully brightly neon color that fitted nicely into Ezra's dark hair, bringing out his eyes and seemed to brighten his spirit as he moved on from his grief, throwing himself back into training with Kanan and working his way with the Force.

It pleased Sabine.

* * *

Author note: Heh, what, its cute. Beside, haircolors might work like that in the future. Man do I wish they did now *fiddles with her blue hair*


	31. You don't forget the cinnamon

No one had to know, that was what he told himself at least.

That no one had to know as he slowly crept through the halls to the medbay where Hera was being kept. The twi'lek looked horrible and Ezra's heart pinged in pain as he touched her hand, watching her bandaged face.

Fenn Rau and his pilots had really done a number on her and Ezra didn't like to see the capable, brilliant woman he had come to know being in this sickbed, looking like...

He took a deep breath through his nose, throwing away the thought and voiding it into the calmness of his mind instead. He then slowly crawled into the narrow bed, laying on his side as he rested his head gingerly on her chest, listening to the beating heart inside of her, felt her warmth.

To know she was going to be alright.

He felt her chest rise and fall with her breaths and felt his own being calm slowly. Seeing her ship in the condition from the command had sent him into a panic, he wasn't ashamed to admit that despite Kanan's teachings. Admitting to what he was feeling was the first step of understanding at least.

And then they bought Hera in...

Ezra bit his lip harshly, keeping in the moisture that had built up in his eyes on the inside. That had hurt, more then he was willing to admit to the others but he could to himself.

So he had been steadily sneaking in to see her every night as long as no one else was there. Because Ezra had already lost one mother, he wasn't ready to lose another, not now, not ever.

He forced himself to settle in again, using his fingertips to stroke Hera's hand, sapphire blue eyes half closed as Hera's chest moved his head up and down slowly in sync with her head. "...I know there's nothing I could have done...but I still feel...not guilty but pained I guess." He whispered softly. "When you came out of hyperspace...when Sabine yelled..."

Ezra shivered a bit against her and then took another deep breath. "I thought you were gone for a few seconds, or that you would be gone if we didn't get you in soon to the medbay." He whispered quietly.

"And...I thought...that moment I remembered all the times you'd smiled at me. All the times you made hot chocolate for me." Ezra stopped his hand, taking a deep breath. "You always remember the cinnamon, Kanan forgets it sometimes." He lets his words die in the silence of the medbay Hera occupied, grateful that she was the only occupant in it.

Or was it the other way around? That there should be more people on the beds, still alive, like Hera was?

Ezra swallowed and pushed away the thoughts, brushing them away like unwelcome cobwebs.

Instead he turned his attention back to Hera, focusing on her, her breathing, her heart, the way her chest rose and fell, the warmth of her body and the lingering smell of engine and the soaps she preferred, he blocked out the smell of sterile medbay that now clung to her like a second skin and instead just focused on what made him feel at peace.

Her heart beating, pumping blood, her lungs drawing air...

Ezra didn't mean to, but against Hera's steady presence, he was gently lulled into a deep sleep, tucked against the woman's side, his head pillowed on her chest.

A slender green hand slowly rose during the night, the arm it belonged to wrapping around the skinny body that had snuck into her bed as the Pilot gave a exhausted but tender smile before falling right back asleep with the boy in her grasp.

()()()()()

"I...don't really know. He wasn't on the Ghost this morning." Zeb confessed to Rex, rubbing his head as he walked with the old clone, sighing quietly to himself. "He hasn't really been handling this all to well, his stint with that...bug thing and then his parents and now this." The Lasat grumbled.

"He's young. He's thrown into a hard life and now a war." Rex offered, keeping his eyes forward. "He hasn't really gone into a lot of details with me but I know enough. Orphan at seven, street child until you all found him at fourteen and now all this...I won't even start to imagine what he had to see and do to survive once his parents were taken away."

Zeb growled quietly at those words, the images of scars and the traders eyes on that boy on Lothal flashing on the inside of his mind.

"But I imagine you know..." Rex glanced at him, taking in the anger.

"He's a brat...but he's our brat." He breathed out through his nose, the air ruffling his own beard as he did. "He's resourceful and a survivalist. He just gets into more jams that he can't get himself out of right now."

Rex chuckled. "Sounds like all the padawan I knew. They were always getting into trouble once they moved up from initiates to actual padawans under a Master."

"You knew them well?" Zeb couldn't help but be curious. This was something Kanan wouldn't speak to much about, only to Ezra usually, to help him understand.

"I worked close with them. I served my General faithfully and did as I was told, what I was made to do." Rex murmured wistfully, stroking the scar on his scalp. "And I never had to do what the clone did. Me, Gregor and Wolffe. We didn't... we never lifted a blaster towards them that day." He let out a deep breath.

"Hmm, can't imagine how it must have been."

"No better then the fall of Lasan my friend...no better then that." The two exchanged tired, battle worn smiles before Zeb opened the medical door.

He stared, ears twitching in surprise before grinning. "Found him."

Rex peered around the others bulk and chuckled quietly. "So that's where he went..."

The two peered in, watching the young boy curled tightly into the Twi'lek's side with his head on her chest, the blanket wrapped around both of them with the green arm wrapped around slender shoulders. Both were still sleeping peacefully, undisturbed by the world around them as they slumbered together.

"She's moved." Rex noted.

"She's been awake." Zeb grinned in delight before looking at Rex. "You...errg...wouldn't happen to have something that could record them would you? They look so...comfortable." His grin widened as Rex reached into his belt, a smirk on the old clones face. "For blackmail purpose or just to show Kanan and the rest?"

"Oh for both hehehe."

* * *

Author note: So...the next several chapters might not contain anything but the past after Purrgils because...well I have been on vacation and I haven't had time to watch the series. I'll still be writing and you might all just cry and laugh because I'm once again working well haha. Enjoy!


	32. One Lasat

"I'm glad you came back." Zeb looked up in surprise, watching the teen stand in the doorway, shifting on his feet as he did. "I mean, you could have stayed, lots of Lasat's down there, a new safe home away from the Imperials...it would have been good and you were a honor guard captain... sounds like they would have respected that." Ezra wrapped his arms around himself.

Zeb stood there in the galley, the kaf almost forgotten in his hands as he took in the other. 'He thought I was leaving...he honestly thought I might stay down there.'

He set the steaming hot mug down on the counter, turning to him as he did. "Kid, I-"

"I mean I would have understood, home, safety, your own people." Ezra babbled, arms tighter around himself, digging his own nails into his sides as he did. "And it looked nice from the Ghost at least, perfect for a Lasat and yo-"

He was drawn into a furry chest, Zeb's arms coming heavy around him as he held him. "Shut up kiddo...this is my home." The Lasat rumbled deeply from the chest, Ezra feeling the vibrations against his cheek as he blinked tears out of his eyes.

"...But you could have..." He whispered. "No Empire, no Kallus hunting us, no milk runs..." He continued. "...No Chopper."

Zeb chuckled deeply at that and kept one arm around the slender back, keeping Ezra pinned as he moved the other up and started carding his fingers through the others hair, noting the slight shine of pale still left in Ezra's hair from when Sabine dyed it. "Tempting as that sounds, especially that last one, no. THIS is my home and this..." He pointedly squeezed Ezra. "Is my family. Broken, dysfunctional and weird. But its mine. And its yours." He gave in and nuzzled the top of the others head slowly.

He felt the teen slowly relax in his arms.

"...So I'm not getting a cabin for myself then?" Ezra whispered, sounding a bit husky.

"Nope, stuck with me I'm afraid." Zeb smirked, teasing his fingers through the others hair still. It was rather fluffy, once again Zeb was reminded of a kit when he was around the other. He'd seen a few of them on Lirasan and all of them were as fluffy as Ezra.

He could feel the other slowly settle against him. "Hey, no falling asleep on me kid." He snorted. "Go to bed if you're tired." He prodded and Ezra griped at him but slowly withdrew from the hug, smiling a bit up at him.

"...For what its worth...I feel the same. About the Ghost, this family...our family." He added then turned, heading back to his bunk. Zeb snorted, watching him go before returning to his kaf. "I know kiddo...we're a weird bunch...but we're OUR weird bunch." He chuckled.

()()()()()

He was almost falling asleep in his space waffles when Chopper rolled in, Ezra following the droid curiously, his face a open book. Zeb didn't bother to ask as they went to Hera.

"Hmm? Ezra?"

"Chopper said he had something to show you and he wanted me to be there when he did show you." The blue eyed teen shrugged, crossing his arms loosely over his chest. "Didn't specify why but I'd rather follow him and get some good will if it makes it so he won't glitch the shower again and make the water go cold when I'm in there."

The Twi'lek gave the droid a long look before sighing and nodding. "Alright Chopper, lets have it." She had to admit, she was curious as to what the astromech had that he wanted to show.

Chopper beeped at her then projected a holo. Of Zeb. Holding Ezra...tightly...with his hand in the others hair. Even the holo couldn't hide the fond look on the Lasat's face.

"Is my family. Broken, dysfunctional and weird. But its mine. And its yours."

They all stared at it, Ezra's face slowly going red.

On his side, Zeb's space waffle slowly fell of his fork with a splat.

"...RUSTBOLT!" Zeb roared, getting to his feet and chasing after the suddenly quickly fleeing astromech, leaving Hera and Ezra, the human hiding his face in his hands.

"...I'm getting a copy of that." Hera said simply, lips twitching into a small smile as Ezra gave a quiet groan. "...And he's right. This is our family."

She smiled softly as Ezra peeked at her through his fingers, a slight twitch and curve of those eyes telling her that he was smiling underneath those pink fingers.

* * *

Author note: Stay tuned, the story continues! And by that I mean the purrgils comes next haha. And perhaps...a kitty? XD


	33. A feline return

Ezra leaned against the hanger wall, closing his eyes while rubbing his face. "You know, those purrgil's were neat but I could have done without falling down into the gas honestly." He gave a slightly shrill laugh, feeling his world begin to sway now that the adrenalin was leaving his system.

"Mmmn, I bet you could. But hey we go the fu-Ezra?" Sabine looked closely at him, noting how he was tilting slightly to the left while pressing his back against the wall. Kanan was already moving towards his padawan, carefully taking him by the shoulders.

"How much of it did you breath in?" He questioned.

"Quite a bit. I almost choked to death on it if it wasn't for the purrgil giving me my hel-urrgh..." Ezra felt himself slide a bit down the wall before he was yanked forward and into Kanan's arms, settling against his chest. "...Don't do that, I think I almost threw up." He whispered hoarsely, black spots starting in his eyes.

"Sorry, but you should sleep I think. It will be better for you to sleep." Kanan frowned, feeling nausea, exhaustion and some off behavior through the bond.

"Mmmn...need a shoulder to lean on to my bunk then I think, cause everything is swaying...Hera is keeping the course straight right?" He felt Kanan slide a arm around his waist to help him get to the cabins.

"Yes she is, so its just you Ezra." The Jedi waved to Sabine and Zeb to get the fuel secured as he took care of his padawan, keeping his arm around him. Ezra leaned heavily on him, taking short, hitched breaths as he did.

"You sure you're alright? Perhaps we should take you to the medbay instead and let Chopper give your blood a run through to check." Kanan frowned, carefully shifting their direction and heading towards the medbay instead, taking note of the paleness clinging to Ezra's tanned skin.

"I...perhaps?" Ezra admitted, closing his eyes before following along carefully to the medbay. "I might just need sleep."

"Better safe then sorry Ezra, you're kind of good at getting into trouble." The Jedi continued lightly as he helped Ezra onto the medbay.

"Hey..."

"Yes?" Kanan smirked as Ezra gave him a tiny sulky pout.

"Bah..." He shuffled and laid down, closing his eyes as he heard Kanan messing around, letting him draw blood before opening his eyes in surprise as Kanan slipped a mask on him. "Humor me, you look pale, might be the lack of oxygen you had." Ezra huffed then nodded, closing his eyes as he kept the mask on.

It kind of dug into his face but he tried to ignore it, breathing deeply as Kanan had taught him, slowly slipping into meditation and then into sleep, his whole body settled.

()()()()()()

"Well the oxygen in his blood is a bit low and there are traces of the gas in his system but else he seems fine." Kanan took himself a kaf, shrugging slightly. "He should be fine as long as he relaxes and lets it work itself out of him." He smiled.

"And you can relax too then." Hera teased him gently, smiling softly.

"As if you weren't worried." Kanan rolled his eyes before looking up as Sabine came, raising a eyebrow at her half guilty, half thrilled look. "...I get the feeling you've done something we might not approve of." He mused.

"Well...not exactly? I mean...I think you'd approve considering the circumstances?" Her grin was growing wider.

"The circumsta-" A loud meow interrupted him. Kanan stared at Sabine as she started giggling loudly. "...Is that what I think it is?" Hera asked, perking up as Chopper came rolling in, warbling away almost excitedly as he rolled to her side.

"Y-Yes!" Sabine couldn't hold it in, squirming. "He's relapsed! With the gas in his system and I don't know. But I took the shot the moment I heard him mewling."

"The shot to wha-" Kanan almost dropped his cup as Ezra crawled in on all four. It wasn't that he was crawling or mewling that was the issue, that had happened before. But now he saw what had excited Sabine, what she had done.

Ezra's face was painted. He had a pink heart nose and black whiskers stretching across his cheeks, giving the impression of...

"A kitty." He choked out, a grin breaking out over his face as Hera squealed in delight, drawing Zeb out of his bunk.

"Whatcha all laughi-oh, oh karabast! Tell me you're recording this Chopper!" He chuckled, Chopper warbling out something that would constitute as a laugh.

Ezra just mewled in confusion to them then crawled over to Kanan, leaning against his leg and nuzzling slowly before peering up with large eyes. Kanan shifted a bit then set his cup down, feeling a bit guilty for some reason before he knelt down and picked up his padawan, noting that despite staying with them, Ezra was still to light for comfort. "Yeah, okay." He muttered, moving to the couch and settling down by the holo table with Ezra on his lap, against his chest.

"Oh he looks adorable." Hera cooed, sitting down with him and petting Ezra's hair, big eyes peering at her, the paint only making those big blue eyes appear even bigger. "A sweet docile kitty cat." She smiled at the open acceptance of affection as Ezra leaned into the touch.

Ezra just nuzzled and gave another mew before settling his head on Kanan's shoulder, smearing a bit of the black paint on the others sweater. Kanan didn't mind...to much.

He ran his hand up and down his padawan's back, his other tucked loosely around the slim waist. Hera on his other side, stroking Ezra's hair with a soft smile. Sabine settled down beside the Jedi, grinning happily as Zeb flopped down in his chair, settling his feet on the table with a content grunt, watching. Chopper was recording everything, warbling now and then.

Kanan however was just focused on everyone, skimming the Force over each and everyone before settling on Ezra. 'Ezra?' He questioned lightly, feeling a bit of embarrassment. 'You're pretending.'

'...Don't tell the others I'm faking it. Please?'

'I won't. But you have to tell me why.'

Ezra nuzzled more against Kanan's shoulder, eyes closed, giving a quiet mewling noise. 'I...kind of remember how you guys acted last time. And I got the holos of it. I just...' There was a frustrated sigh through the link between them.

'...I wanted that. You and Hera were...I mean...you were like this.'

Kanan felt the little bit of annoyance he felt settle as he pulled Ezra a bit tighter to him. It wasn't easy still now for him to ask for attention, at least not the positive kind. And to be held. Perhaps he felt he should be grown enough to not require hugs.

'Well, alright, I won't tell them...as long as you don't force me to feed you. I'll give you a few hours.' Kanan settled on, squeezing the teen to him.

'Thank you...I'm still going to make Sabine pay for painting my face.' Ezra hummed through the bond.

'That's alright...though Ezra?'

'Mmmn?'

'Next time you want a hug...just ask. I'm not going to deny you them.'

'To be fair, when I woke up, I did mew for a bit. Only after Sabine started cuddling me did I think of this fully though.'

'She cuddled you?'

'Tightly. It was nice and she ruffled my hair.'

'Heh, alright.'

* * *

Author note: Ehehehehe...okay, I'm sorry about being late with this update from my usual shedule BUT I lost internet. But onto more serious matters, I'm getting a surgery done today, so...um...well what I'm saying is please review? I'd like to have something good to wake up to afterward.


	34. Carry on my wayward son

"When you live for someone, you're prepared to die for them."

Ezra had heard those words long ago from a stupid radio play his father had listened to. He hadn't understood them, he never had a chance to understand them between childish innocence and then the harsh street life he had been left to grow up in.

On the street you lived for no one but yourself. Every meal could be your last, every drop of water and every breath. That was what he had come to learn. Savor every day as if it was your last, be careful, plan well and try to get by. The wounds and scars was just evidence that you survived.

And then he meet them.

The Ghost crew. And the sensation of having someone to care for him again, who actually made sure he ate, drank and had medication of all things...

He had become dependent on it. He never wanted to lose it.

He was never going to lose his family again.

So when he, Hera and Zeb encountered the two Inquisitors while rummaging through a dimly old base...

He knew what those words meant while drawing his lightsaber. Because he knew that Zeb and Hera didn't have a lot to stand up to the Inquisitors with, and he couldn't bring much but a delay on his own.

"...Hey Hera." He murmured, shifting a bit while keeping his eyes on the smirking Seventh Sister.

"Ezra." The pilot said warily while aiming her blasters.

"When you see Kanan, tell him he better not leave me behind."

It was all the warning the Twi'lek and the Lasat got before Ezra Force threw them backwards to the place they had come from before jamming his lightsaber into the circuits, giving them a half smile as the door closed, leaving him trapped on the other side of the bolt door with the dark Force users.

"Ezra!"

The cry died as the door slammed down and Ezra focused his attention back on them.

"Oh bravo my brave little boy." The Seventh sister cooed, smirking ever so slightly. The Fifth brother smirked beside her, his lightsaber already humming and glowing.

Ezra just snorted, keeping the fear down while shifting. "Yes, yes, I've heard that a few times now. Got anything new to tell me or should we just cross blades?" He gave a half-bow to them, eyes never leaving.

It was a mocking bow too, his eyes full of taunt.

It got a growl out of the Fifth Brother and he attacked, moving quickly. 'Easy to anger, use it to your advantage Ezra. He's big and you're small. If I can just make them fight long enough, humor me...' Blue meet red.

He knew he had no chance against him. Especially not two Inquisitors at the same time.

But he could pull the time out until Kanan came.

Or he would get captured.

His stomach squirmed uneasily with the idea of another captivity. As if something was burrowing inside him.

His second of hesitation gave the Fifth Brother a opening and Ezra gave a yell of pain as the lightsaber cut through his upper thigh, causing him to stumble back. He panted, staring at them as the Seventh Sister laughed wickedly.

"Don't aim for his face. He's to pretty to have his face scratched up even more and I'd like to play with him once we have him." She cooed and something slimy settled in Ezra's stomach at those words. Last time they meet, she hadn't touched him, not like that but if he was captured properly, brought to wherever they had base...

"You fascination for pretty things is misleading. We should kill him and be done with it." The hulking form of Fifth Brother grunted.

"Oh you shortsighted fool. The boy is a padawan. His captured would lead to his master following his trail. We use him to get the others and get more information. We win. Or well, I win since this is my idea." She smirked smugly before activating her blade. "Are you ready pretty one?"

She didn't give Ezra time to answer before she attacked and Ezra could tell she was playing with him. Just playing. He had gotten stronger but that didn't mean he could fight the two at the same time because each time Seventh let up on him, Fifth attacked and he attacked ruthlessly.

Ezra could feel the strain in his body not to mention the burning from his thigh and he was slowing down, his body shaking even as he did his best to defend himself. But for every move, he was barely dodging or avoiding the red blades now.

'Should be grateful I'm not bleeding.' He thought hazily before the Force pinged in, just a second warning before his back hit solid metal. Blue eyes shot behind him in surprise, his back against the wall.

Seventh Sister took that chance and with one yank, lifted Ezra of his feet, keeping him suspended against the wall as she squeezed lightly, smirking at the choked noises coming from the boy. "There we go. Well this was fun, actually proved a tiny bit challenging." She laughed as Ezra dropped his weapon, his hands going to his throat as if to fend of a invisible attacker.

She eased her grip on his throat, smirking when Ezra drew in deep gulps of air. "Oh don't worry, I'm not going to kill you yet." She purred before looking at Fifth Brother. "And neither shall he." She looked back, blue meeting yellow.

"You're going to be the damsel in distress dear. Because they will come for you. As always. Brave boy. You should feel happy, I'm not going to scar your face anymore then it is." She touched the old burn scars from the Grand Inquisitors lightsaber with her slender fingers.

"Please by the First Light, stop touching me you creepy cougar. Sithspit, you should have seen the others last time I talked about you." Ezra tried cockily, trying to get her to stop touching him. "Thought you'd preyed on me."

However she didn't pull back in revulsion. No, she smiled.

"Now there's a idea my brave boy." She ideally mused and Ezra felt a far different fear stab through his body. And then she backhanded him, harshly. For such a delicate hand, she hit like a transport shuttle in speed Ezra thought before he slumped in her grip, blood leaking from his nose as he was in the grip of two Inquisitors.

()()()()()()

"Here?" Kanan stared at the shut door before looking at Zeb and Hera for confirmation. Then he started cutting through the door, getting it big enough for Zeb to walk through. He could feel no one on the other side and Ezra's side of the bond was quiet, a indication that he was just unconscious the only thing that kept Kanan calm.

As long as he wasn't dead yet, Kanan could handle it. He could find and rescue his wayward padawan.

His wayward son.

He used the Force to push the metal slab out and stepped in, lightsaber on the ready despite not feeling anything. You never knew if there were traps or mechs.

But the whole hall was deserted. There were evidence of a fight of course and Zeb growled unhappily as he looked around. "He was right here. He threw us back Kanan and slammed his lightsaber into the circuits, we swear. He's picking up to much of your behavior."

But Kanan was no longer listening as he stepped towards something against a wall, slowly lowering himself on one knee to pick it up before showing it to the others.

Ezra's lightsaber.

* * *

Author note: Update! I am feeling fine, I'm good, my surgery went FINE. Everyone, I'm all good. On that subject, THANK you all for the support and love. I'm overwhelmed with it honestly. So here, enjoy another one with a cliffhanger!


	35. Carry on my wayward son (part 2)

Waking up was a highly unpleasant sensation.

Even more unpleasant before of the pain aching in his thigh and face with his arms tired tightly. He was laying on his side with his cheek against the cold floor, his breath having stirred up the dust that had settled once the base had been abandoned by the clones and the Republic, his blood coating down his chin, his nose and the floor though long dried by the time he woke.

He kept his eyes closed to begin with, listening to the quiet noises around him. He didn't dare reach out with the Force, didn't want to alert the two Inquisitors that he was indeed awake.

Ezra slowly opened his eyes, peering out through thin slits. No one was in front of him, good.

A slow glance around with his eyes alone made him aware that no one was around him. They weren't there?

That was...unnerving and Ezra still didn't dare reach out with the Force. He spent a few minutes just quietly trying to scan the area with his own normal senses. Sound, smell and sight. He didn't dare move though until he was pretty sure no one was in the room.

He slowly checked himself but remained on his side before catching sight of what had to be a old multitool or something like that. A tool at least, a tool Ezra could use to get out of his binds.

He scanned the area quickly again with his eyes without moving his head before shifting his hands just a bit, opening his right hand to pull it to him. If they were around, they'd hear it and co-

A heavy booted smashed down on his exposed hand, breaking every bone in it and Ezra couldn't have stopped himself if he tried, he screamed. He could feel every bone, every muscle and every nerve of his hand and it caused him to almost black out again.

Shakily he managed to look up as the boot left his hand, the fingers bent all to wrong, into the grinning gray face of the Fifth Brother. "Figured you'd wake up. Took some time but worth it." He sounded to satisfied with getting to break Ezra's hand, the throbbing going straight up into his brain and making it hard to think.

"What did you do?" The annoyed voice of the Seventh Sister came and soon she was in Ezra's water filled gaze. "Anyone on this base would have heard him scream. They would have heard him scream, where did the plan 'ambush' go?" She snapped in annoyance.

"He was trying to reach for the tool." The Fifth Brother shrugged, not quite capable of hiding his smirk as he stared down at Ezra's pained form.

"Go look for them, they'll come running now." She snapped at him, angerly.

That left Ezra alone with one of his least favorite people in the galaxy. She crunched down slowly and examined his hand, a half smirk crossing her lips. "Well he did a good stomp, didn't he." She cooed, reaching out and running her hand through Ezra's dark hair.

He jerked away an hissed at the combined pain from his hand and his thigh.

"Pain does make you look even prettier." She mused at his scrunched up, bloody face, pushing Ezra onto his back. He growled at her. "Buzz of."

But as her hand lingered on him, Ezra got a bad feeling but before he could act on it, she'd forced his hands up above his head and kept them pinned, smirking at him before she reached for the zipper of his flightsuit.

Ezra felt all pain leave his body at that and he kicked his legs, trying to get her. "Let go!" His voice sounded to shrill and she just laughed at him, pulling it all the way down to expose his scarred chest. "Well, seems someone got to you first my brave little boy." She cooed.

Her gloved hand lingered on a scar on his torso and Ezra's blood turned to ice as he turned wide eyes up at her. "Just...stop." He hissed.

"Now why would I my pretty boy?" Her fingers ran along Ezra's skin in half forgotten fantasies he kept to the night but this time it made his skin crawl, this was nothing like his fantasies and this woman was NOTHING like what he imagined or wanted when he allowed himself to indulge to his own thoughts.

"Let go!" Was he crying? He felt moisture on his face.

"Awww, that's right, you should be afraid. We might turn you yet." She chuckled. Her hand was slowly sliding along his upper chest and down his stomach, her touch just dusting over his skin and sending goosebumps along his skin, betraying Ezra in ways he never wished it to.

"Please..." His voice sounded so brittle to even his own ears. "Don't..."

Her grin turned cruel, giving Ezra all the answer he needed.

()()()()()()()

The scream had practically vibrated through their heads, Ezra's scream through the halls and bigger rooms echoing, reaching them as Chopper still continued to mess with the systems of the base, trying to get the surveillance cameras to work.

"Ezra..." Kanan turned to the noise, his body tensing as pain was felt through the bond they shared.

"Chopper get those feeds working." Hera hissed quietly, her whole body antsy before jerking as they suddenly flickered to life. Some of the monitors were broken and offline but a few were still working.

And on one of them they found Ezra. The teen was on his side with the Seventh Sister crouched in front of him, even the feed showed her smirk.

"Karabast, where's the other one?" Zeb growled while Sabine fiddled with her blaster, helmet pointed at the screen still, she was observing all of them, trying to find the Fifth Brother.

Kanan couldn't rip his eyes away from his padawan, his lower face coated in blood and twisted in pain as he snapped something at the Seventh Sister and she shoved him onto his back. And then she raised Ezra's arms over his head, pinning them down with the Force.

Kanan felt his eyes widen as she went for the zipper and his mouth went dry. "No..." He moved forward, eyes scanning the room, trying to remember if they had gone through it even as his bond to Ezra started to fill with fear.

"She...where is this Chopper!?" He snapped, making the others aware of what was happening, how the Inquisitor was touching their Ezra.

Kanan felt his blood turn to ice, feeling his padawans sharp fear and then a hopelessness as Ezra stopped struggling, his legs falling still as he turned his face away and hid in his own upper arm, his whole body shaking on the security.

"Chopper WHERE is it!" He snapped before looking to Hera when Chopper finally beeped.

"Hall C, we passed through it, it was the one with the overturned orange tables." Kanan was running before Hera finished talking, letting himself be guided both by his eyes and the Force, feeling Ezra come closer. And then he was blocked, the second Inquisitor appearing in front of him.

Neither Kanan nor the Inquisitor expected what happened next. Kanan gave a cry of anger and slammed the large man against the wall in a show of Force, speeding past him, not leaving himself time to think about what he had done.

He had one focus and it was not the man currently sliding down against the wall or Zeb coming up behind to zap him with his bo-rifle and keep the other unconscious. His focus was on his bond to his padawan, the hopelessness he could feel, the lingering fear, on...

"EZRA!" He burst into the hall, finding the teen half undressed, his flightsuit cut into pieces around him. But not fully naked, it was all Kanan allowed himself to think before getting involved into a lightsaber fight, his intention clear, get HER away from Ezra.

Sabine came scrambling in seconds later, rushing to Ezra as the teen managed to crawl roll onto his side and throw up a bit, his whole body shaking. She quickly touched his shoulder, ignoring the flinch. "Its me, Kanan has her at bay and Zeb's right behind. We're leaving." She said hurriedly.

The Lasat came running in moments later, throwing his large eyes towards Kanan and the female Inquisitor before running to Sabine, scooping Ezra up without question. "Kanan! Hera and Chopper has Phantom on standby." He called before he was running, trusting Kanan to follow, trusting the Jedi to make decisions for the best of the crew.

He gave the Fifth Brother a swift kick as he ran past him, hearing Ezra give a half choked laugh at that. "Vindictive?"

"Hey, I'm no Jedi, I don't need to keep my emotion in check." Zeb growled in satisfaction, pretending not to hear the half sob, half laugh the other issued against his shoulder. Instead he tucked the half clothed body even firmer against his chest and ran.

He didn't stop running until he was in the Phantom and didn't put Ezra down. No he kept the still to skinny lad in his arms, sitting down on one of the seats with him while Sabine kept watch and Hera got the Phantom floating.

Now all they needed was their wayward Jedi.

"Kanan, today please..." Hera muttered to herself. Sabine kept scout, standing there just in case as Zeb dragged one of the emergency thermal blankets out of their hiding place and wrapped it around Ezra, giving him a tiny bit of privacy for his own sake.

The boy latched onto it with need, wrapping it tightly around himself, it was just a thermal blanket but it was a barrier. At least it preserved some of his pride.

And then Kanan came running, jumping up and into the Phantom. "Now Hera!"

The pilot did her job, flying high and fast and escaping the base, not getting the supplies they had come for but also leaving with all her crew members alive. That would be enough for now until they reached the Ghost and base.

And then Kanan was kneeling in front of him and Zeb, reaching out and cupping Ezra's face, checking on him. "Well, you're nose isn't broken..." He said quietly, hands lingering on Ezra's bloody face. "And you don't have a concussion. Are you hurt anywhere?"

Words were stuck in Ezra's throat as he stared at Kanan, meeting teal eyes that were full of understanding as he nodded shakily and the Jedi dropped his hands. "Alright, does any of it require care or treatment now that we have access to?" Kanan continued.

Ezra shook his head then carefully pulled his broken hand out of the blanket to show them the state of it, swollen with the fingers all bent inside the glove.

"Yeah...that's broken and its gonna need a bone knitter." Zeb hissed a bit in worry. Sabine observed quietly from her spot, Ezra's flinch firmly in mind.

Ezra gave another quiet nod before hesitantly shifting and then exposing the lightsaber cut on his upper thigh. "Cauterized...alright, we need to get to the Rebel ships." Kanan breathed out, then just wrapped Ezra in a hug. "And...its alright, we got you." He whispered as he buried one hand into the dark hair.

He felt Ezra's breath hitch against his collarbone then Ezra just slumped against him. There would come a time when they would talk about this, sort through Ezra's mind and meditate together. But not right now.

Right now they'd give Ezra the best painkiller they had on the Phantom and get him to a place that could treat him while providing the comfort they could.

* * *

Author note: Seventh Sister is a creeper, who won't take no as a answer, or so I would assume...anyhow! onwards


	36. The ones who left us

"You know, until I was about...oh six, I was firmly convinced babies came from the butt." Ezra said, his voice cutting through the command room and effectively silencing all the planning.

They had been at this for hours with Commander Sato and the rest. Discussing, arguing, setting up new plans, handing out missions. Ezra was fifteen, he was bored and he had eventually laid down on top of one of the console coverings, staring at the ceiling with his hands resting on his stomach, especially his still sore and tender one that he was still on painkillers for which was why he was bored as he was not allowed to train on his own.

His comment had come out of no where too.

And Kanan had been about to scold his padawan when the reality of what the other had said hit him. "What?" He got out, a slight choked sound to his voice as he heard others snigger quietly around him, staring at the blue eyed boy who was resting against the metal on his back.

"Babies from the butt. I was pretty aware it was something like that but I didn't have the parts to figure out it exactly." Ezra waved a hand, still looking at the ceiling. "Stomach grows, period of that and this time in different species until its big enough and out it comes. I just had the wrong hole pegged." There were more sniggers and even a cough to cover a outright laugh.

"My dad laughed for a hour when I told him my theory. And I think my mother broke her favorite vase by dropping it." He was grinning a bit at the memories. "They explained it of course, after mom stopped hitting him with a book. I don't think I ever seen him blush as much as he did then."

"They explained it?"

"Well kind of. Not in full graphic details." Ezra sat up and stretched. "Anyhow, I'm starving and you're doing detail work, gonna go find a nutribar or something." He wandered away.

There was more laughing as everyone forced themselves back to work.

Kanan slowly shook his head. Babies from the butt indeed.

()()()()()

Hera smiled a bit as Ezra put his head on her shoulder, feeling the overheated skin of the human teen. "You know I need to work." She murmured quietly, waving her datapad a bit.

"Not trying to read it. Just wanna...stay here." The other murmured back as quietly, a slight hoarseness to his voice while nuzzling her arm. He'd deny it if called on it so Hera let it be. "Alright, as long as you don't try to read these, you can stay." She resisted the urge to pet his hair, smiling ever so slightly while checking that the blanket was still around his shoulders.

Ezra just gave a low hum and stayed against her side, his breathing a bit thickly from illness. His gaze was focused on a spot on the wall, not really seeing it as he drowsed a bit.

"...When I was sick when I was little..." He absently noted Hera's fingers had stopped on the datapad. "My mother would bundle me up and put me on the couch in the living room, to keep a eye on me." Ezra smiled a tiny bit against Hera's shoulder. "Dad would make this...creamy soup and they'd work around me, quietly while I napped or just watched the holonet."

Hera looked at the young teen against her shoulder. "Yeah?"

"Yeah...they'd come sit with me as long as they weren't working...it was...nice." He smiled ever so slightly and closed his eyes. "Like this..."

Hera smiled softly at that. "...You can stay here as long as you like Ezra love."

()()()()()

"You know, I'm curious about one thing." Sabine said while tinkering on her bombs in the quiet of their common room, the others of Force knew where. Ezra looked up from where he was getting more soup, his face still a bit flushed from the lingering cold in his system.

"Yeah?" He asked curiously.

"You could read. A tiny bit. But its clear you didn't go to school. Yet again its clear you had some schooling. So...where did you learn?" Sabine looked up curiously, knowing that the bomb in her hand was not armed and wouldn't go of anytime soon as she watched the dark haired teen in the kitchen.

Now, Ezra had a choice. He could spin her a lie, he could refuse to answer...or he could do what family did and talk to her and tell her the truth.

Had this been a year ago, he wouldn't even have thought to tell her the truth, the lie would have been on the tip of his tongue before he could even think it out fully.

But this wasn't a year ago. And this was Sabine. So he answered honestly. "My parents started homeschooling me. When I turned six I mean. By the time they were...they were taken, I already knew my letters." He tried to shrug it of and focus on his soup.

It was a slow burn in his chest, the memory of his parents sitting with him, patiently teaching him his letters and numbers. Numbers had been easy to pick up on the street, you knew to count if you wanted to survive. Letters were basic, as long as you knew the signs and knew the names, you could find your way and reading wasn't as important.

Ezra almost dropped his mug when she suddenly hugged him, having moved from the table while Ezra was contemplating. "Thank you...for telling me." She said quietly against his hair.

"...Hey, you did teach me the difficult stuff. So guess I owed you." He returned the smile hesitantly.

()()()()()()

"...What?"

"I said...I said I can't swim alright." Ezra glared up at Zeb, soaking wet from being thrown to the shallow of the water when they dropped out of the TIE so it could crash further away. He was sure if it wasn't for the Force, he would have broken his damn legs.

That didn't make it any better that they were on a island in the middle of what appeared to be the ocean of this planet.

"So you're telling me, that you can't leave this island or you drown?" Zeb's eyes was practically bugging out of his head before he cursed and covered his face. "You didn't think this was something you should have mentioned, oh I don't know, BEFORE the mission?"

"Hey! I asked if we were going to land. No, we weren't, we were suppose to stay on the Ghost or the Phantom. Or at worst we were going to be on base, doing work, distracting and bashing in some stormtrooper haeds. Not...here!" Ezra wrapped his arms around himself, shivering a bit from the wind and the water logged clothes he was wearing.

"I'm from Lothal Zeb, I grew up on the grassy plains AND I was alone since I was seven, I lived in a communication hub far from the ocean and my parents didn't have time to teach me before they were gone. When do you think had I had the time or place to learn to swim!" He was shivering harder now.

Zeb slowly dropped his hands at that, staring at Ezra. "...Alright, I can swim but I'm not confidant I can swim and help you at the same time, its a far distance. Our best bet is for Kanan to guide Hera to us. After all you two can find each other through that bond you two have. Or for Hera or Chopper to trace our coms" He breathed out then moved to Ezra, tugging him further onto the island and wrapping his arms around him. "And you're growing cold, so whatever complains you have about my smell, stuff them." He grumbled.

Ezra gave a slight grunt then pushed himself more against the older males side, shaking a bit harder at a gust of wind. "...My dad was going to teach me to swim before they took him away." He offered softly to Zeb and the Lasat hummed at that, squeezing Ezra slowly. "Well... we'll see about teaching you soon."

"...Thanks Zeb."

()()()()()

"Huh? Chopper?" Ezra looked up at the droid, blinking at him from where he was doing diagnostic on the Phantom. The droid was just quietly watching him and Ezra frowned. "Okay rustbucket, I don't know what you're thinking but please let me work on this, Hera's gonna kill me or worse, force me to take care of the ion scorching again if I don't." He focused back down.

And then back up when Chopper whooped something at him. "I...what?"

Chopper waved his arms a bit. "No, that disc is here, with me. Why were you looking for the disc Sabine gave me?" Ezra asked suspiciously, his defenses rising sharply.

The astromech rolled a bit closer, twirling his dome to check if anyone was close before beeping at Ezra again.

"What's on it? I...my parents of course. Sabine managed to clean up the disc and...she found a picture of them." He focused back down on the diagnostic. And then a thin mechanical hand held out a second disk to him. Ezra blinked then looked up at Chopper, the mech watching in in turn.

"Chopper?" He frowned, taking the disk and peering at it. "What's this?"

The mech was silent and waited for Ezra to play it on the Phantom. And then Ezra stared. It was him, it was his parents. They were laughing though the recording had no sound and Ezra was on his father's back. It was a security video that much was clear but...it was them.

He continued staring, eyes half wide. "Where did..."

Chopper whooped and beeped quickly in binary.

"On the old Lothal security base? You were...did you go LOOKING for this?" Ezra asked quietly, letting the recording loop, eyes greedily taking in his mother and fathers smile and laugh. He could almost hear the laugh in his ears.

A quieter confirmation and then a even smaller question.

"...Yeah Chopper, you did good. You did GOOD." Ezra whispered as moisture dropped of his face and onto the back of his hands.

"You did SO good."

()()()()()()

Letting go of grief was not easy.

Coming to terms with what was almost unimaginable. But with the steady trickle of time, Ezra was coming to it. With the help of those who loved him now, he could live with what was once unimaginable, he could talk about his parents to them.

Long conversations or short. Little mentions and memories.

So when he stepped into the main room of the Ghost, staring at those who had become his family, he felt the Force gently push at him.

"...Did I ever tell you all about what my parents used to do before the Empire?" He offered while stepping in, a smile on his face.

His smile was answered by the smile of his crew. His family.

* * *

Author note: So...I have quite a few chapters written down. But I have to confess, I'm...pretty high on painkillers and I have trouble focusing and I need to find somewhere to catch the SWR episodes I'm missing. But enjoy what I have!


	37. No need to voice anymore

It was just horsing around, a few days of actually relaxing, not having to rush back or forth, no actual missions to run or anything and they needed to blow of some steam on the planet they had grounded on for Ezra's sake, the teen wearing a steadying support around his wrist from when the Fifth Brother had stomped on his hand.

It was some fun...until it wasn't fun.

Ezra arms flailed like a pinwheel and he gave a shocked cry as he went backwards, tripping over Chopper after Sabine's teasing push. It wouldn't have been so bad if Chopper hadn't been right behind him but he was and Ezra vaulted fully and fell into the deep blue water beside the Ghost with a loud splash.

Zeb had looked on in amusement, until Ezra fell into the water and then he jerked, dropping the crate he'd been carrying for Hera and ran over. "Karabast!"

"Easy, its just wa-"

"He can't swim Sabine." Was all he growled before throwing himself into the water, Sabine jerking to her feet where she had helped Chopper straighten up again, eyes wide into the water. Ezra couldn't swim?

Hera came over quickly, having heard Zeb and peered into the water too, her green eyes wide in worry. She heard Kanan come sprinting out of the Ghost moments later, looking around wildly, obviously feeling the bond. "Where is he?" He snapped and Hera pointed into the water. "Zeb's down there, he can't swim." She answered, eyes wide.

Minutes started to pass and then suddenly Zeb surfaced with a lax Ezra in his arms, the boy's face lax and pale.

The Lasat swam them to the shore and gave Kanan and Hera Ezra's arm to pull him up first, getting him out of the water as fast as they could. He could pull himself up after.

Kanan settled Ezra on his back, giving Hera a quick look before holding his hand to Ezra's mouth, not feeling any air escape him before giving the others face a careful slap to get a response. Nothing, just Ezra's unresponsive face and body. "No...No no no no, come on Ezra, you have to breath." He quickly tipped the others head back and then started on chest compression. "Come on, spit up that water Ezra." He growled as he heard Zeb pull himself out of the water, Sabine hovering in worry not far from them.

Ten quick chest compression and then two blow of air into Ezra's windpipe. Kanan didn't let himself think about losing Ezra to something like this, to drowning. He had fought pirates, bandits and Inquisitors, he'd survived the streets and torture and everything. He wasn't losing Ezra to THIS.

Zeb watched grimly while placing a heavy hand on Sabine's shoulder, Ezra was to still, to pale and to wet. He refused to think of the other as a drowned kitten because at moment the very real possibility was that Ezra might not wake up even with Kanan trying to help him.

"Ezra come on!" The Jedi shouted in a mix of fright and desperation that was clearly showing on his face and he gave a Force enhanced prod to Ezra's body in a desperate attempt to save his padawan.

Ezra's blue eyes snapped open as he gasped and rolled onto his side, water being coughed up from the deep of the boys lungs.

If there was ever such a thing as tangible relief, it was when all of them sighed in relief and Kanan started to rub the teens back, helping him get all the water out of him. "Steady Ezra, try to breath." He said shakily, sporting a half smile in his relief.

"Ow." Was all Ezra offered in return, raising his wrapped hand to his chest.

"We're going to have a LONG talk about this Ezra. And we're going to add swimming lessons while we're here to your list of training." Kanan blew his escaped hair out of his face then looked at Zeb, nodding in relief at the sopping wet and dripping Lasat.

Zeb just shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest. Anyone of them would have jumped after Ezra, he was just the one who knew.

"Hate...water." Ezra coughed up a bit more.

"Yeah well, when you sink like a kriffing rock..." Zeb grunted before smirking. "But hey, I saved your life, you owe me."

Ezra raised a shaky finger at him. "Eternally...even." He rasped and that was enough for Zeb to laugh, relaxing fully.

()()()()()

"I'm not going to let you drown Ezra." Kanan stood there patiently, water to his waist. "And this is the shallow easy end, I swear I checked." He raised his eyebrows at his hesitating padawan standing on the shore.

Mentally he was reminding himself that Ezra almost drowned and the reason for his trepidation might be more understandable then a lot of what the teen got up to.

"I just...do I...I mean...is it necessary?" He asked his Master weakly only to winch at the look Kanan sported.

"Yes." Kanan said shortly, feeling his patience starting to snap a bit. Then he softened at the look Ezra threw the water. "Ezra, trust me, I won't let you drown." He assured, smiling a bit when Ezra finally started to wade slowly into the water.

"Its cold..."

"That's why we're in the swim suits and not in trunks." Kanan explained carefully, just watching the teen move all the way to him, smiling broadly when Ezra finally stood in front of him, water almost at his naval.

"See? Standing here isn't so bad. Just cold that's all." Judging by the mistrusting look Ezra shot the water, he didn't feel the same.

"Look, we travel to a lot of planets Ezra." Kanan murmured. "Some of them do have water and oceans and only a little land. You have to know how to swim just in case because you know how our missions tend to blow up in our face." He held out his hands and waited for Ezra to take them, slowly guiding the teen backwards into the water. "And I'm here, I swear Ezra I'm not gonna let you drown."

Ezra let out a shaky breath then nodded. "Okay Kanan."

It was all Kanan needed to know Ezra was trusting him.

They didn't need to voice that anymore.

* * *

Author note: *sips coffee* hmm? oh enjoy. Oh and someone asked about my surgery. Its thigh related to improve my life quality. And the rest of the details are mine to privacy heh


	38. Little Loth cat

His touch was gentle, holding out his braced hand to the Loth-cat with a small smile, eyes sparkling in the light of the ship as he did. "You snuck on board didn't you huh, I don't think you're suppose to be on a ship...and you don't look like someones pet." He talked softly, distantly aware of the hum of people around him.

The Loth-cat tilted his head and slowly took a step towards Ezra's hand before arching his back and scuttling back into its corner, large brown eyes on the person behind the teen.

"Is that a Loth-cat?" Kanan questioned, coming up to stand behind his student.

"Mhmm, I think it snuck on board one of the ships and ended up here on Sato's. Its rather scared and doesn't want to be here though. I was hoping to convince it to come closer so I could get it sent home." Ezra gave a light hum, not annoyed or bothered that Kanan had spoiled the progress he had been making.

He was just calm, floating in the emotions of his own self.

Kanan's lips twitched a bit, feeling the zen coming of his student. "You know, I am a bit awed at how easily you connect to the creatures around you. Not just connect but form almost a bond even to something as wild as this little thing." He looked at the Loth-cat who hissed at him. It was a scrawny thing, perhaps barely out of it kitten years. Its fur was a spotted pattern that he usually saw on Lothal and its eyes a deep chocolate brown.

Ezra looked up at Kanan at that then back to the cat before he returned his eyes at Kanan, looking hesitant. The Jedi waited, knowing Ezra was considering what to tell him and letting his padawan come to the words on his own.

"I...had trouble once, I agree but..." He looked back to the cat and smiled a bit. "When I look into their eyes now...I don't...think animal anymore really." He carefully held out his hand again to the feline.

"And what do you see instead?" Kanan prompted gently.

"...I see a friend, a living being who thinks of food and love and safety..." Ezra offered quietly. "I feel a soul who just...wants the same thing I want." He looked up at Kanan as the feline slowly came over and brushed its head against Ezra's fingers. "I feel a soul who wants to belong." He smiled and started to scratch the young things chin and ears slowly. "To trust someone else if only briefly and know they won't get hurt."

Kanan stared at the top of Ezra's mop of hair before smiling slightly. "And...do you feel those things now? Do you...think you have them?"

He could spot a slight flush crawling up Ezra's neck and to his ears. "...I have a family. I have safety on the Ghost. I have trust...and I have belonging. You'd notice if I was gone." He mumbled, drawing the feline slowly into his lap to pet the Loth-cat even more.

Ever so slowly, Kanan knelt down beside Ezra so not to disturb the animal, tilting his head forward to see the flush still lingering on Ezra's cheeks. "...Yes I would. I'd notice it the moment it was gone. And I'd miss you, my padawan." He reached out and placed his hand on Ezra's lower back, smiling as the teen leaned back into it, soaking up the touch.

"Course you would, I'm so loud you can't miss me." The teen said cockily.

"Not why I'd notice but true." Kanan chuckled. "I'd notice you were gone because its on the Ghost you belong. With us, with our family. Though how Zeb became the brother figure I will never understand, he's older then both me and Hera." He snorted quietly.

"Well he behaves like a teenager." Ezra pointed out before leaning slowly against the older mans shoulder, stroking the ears of the Loth-cat as it laid down to snooze in his lap.

"And gets in trouble like a teenager." Kanan chuckled quietly, mindlessly rubbing a pattern onto the teens back with a steady hand, smiling at the little pleased sigh that escaped the teen. Then his grin grew a bit more as the Loth-cat let out a sigh of pleasure just a few moments after Ezra.

"...I can feel your amusement, what now?"

"Nothing Ezra. Just a old man having some thoughts."

"You're not that old."

"Old enough to enjoy my thoughts in peace and quiet thank you very much." He basically chirped.

Ezra gave a quiet snort, smiling down at the Loth-cat as it looked up at him in question. Ezra just carefully continued petting. "I should get this guy to a crate and feed him a bit. So he can go home." He murmured softly.

"...Do you miss Lothal?"

"I...it will always be my home planet Kanan but...out here...among the stars? I'm right where I belong." Blue eyes looked at the older man beside him, meeting teal eyes while giving a warm smile. "I'm right where I want to be."

* * *

Author note: Animal friendly!


	39. One step back

He'd been told to keep it on.

In no uncertain terms had he been told to keep the brace on and keep his hand healing, that he wasn't ready to remove it after having every bone basically pulverized inside his hand, every nerve flatted and had his veins burst from a well aimed stomp.

And Ezra had listened, he'd been good. After all, he didn't want to disappoint his family. Especially not Hera or Kanan.

But...

Well his family should know better then getting caught! By pirates no less!

Ezra looked up at the vent grate over him and then down at the brace. There would be no way to quietly move through the vents wearing the thing. He'd already removed his leg guard for the same reason.

"...They are so going to kick my ass once they see its gone." Ezra sighed and then started undoing the straps of the brace Sabine had carefully colored. "So kick my ass."

()()()()

A small burst of Force made Kanan look up before he looked back down to avoid detection, smiling ever so slightly as he caught Hera's eyes. He gave a glance up with his eyes alone then nodded as the Twi'lek's lekku's twitched in surprise before she too gave a small smile in return in the cell she and Zeb were in.

They had been separated by cells, Hera and Zeb in one, Sabine and Chopper in one and Kanan in one for himself, hog tied since he was a Jedi and they did not trust him. He imagined Ezra was going to get a kick out of seeing that not only was he the only one to escape capture but Kanan was tied up like a plump roast.

He could see Zeb and Hera since they had the cell right in front of him but he could not see Chopper and Sabine since they had the one beside him. At least he could feel them, so that made him feel a bit better about the whole situation, and even better when he had realized that Ezra had not gotten caught with them, still roaming free and most likely plotting their escape.

He knew the moment Zeb had caught on, his ears twitching harshly before he cocked his head and glanced towards the vents over them in what Kanan could only explain as surprise. Then he sat down, grunting and went back to looking annoyed lest their captors noticed something amiss. But Kanan, who knew his friend well could see the anticipation rolling over his shoulders, the Lasat ready to act the moment those doors opened.

The Jedi allowed himself to reach out to the Force being moving slowly over him, almost chuckling as he felt Ezra's surprise before frowning as shields snapped up into place, Ezra not letting Kanan feel how he was. 'Ezra? Are you injured?'

'I'm fine, fine, its just really dusty and I need to concentrate. Please Kanan.' The response was light, almost airy.

And made Kanan suspicious.

He frowned a bit both inside himself and outside.

'Ezra...'

'We can talk about it later! I need to slice through this grate over here and then I can get the doors open!' Ezra continued over the cells and towards the main control room where Kanan knew their weapons were. 'The grate is locked in the vent?'

'Alarmed actually but I've sliced through worse things. Its flimsy, they don't seem to think anyone would be coming this way really but still set up a defense. Just hold on Kanan, I'll have you all out soon.'

And then Ezra firmly shut down the connection so he could focus on his work.

"Kanan?" He looked up at Hera and sighed a bit. "It will be alright." He smiled slightly, ignoring the chuckling of their pirate guards as they seemed quite confidant in both capturing their missing crew mate and keeping the whole Ghost crew under control once they had Ezra too in a cell. 'Force help them if they hurt Ezra...' His smile turned a bit grimmer as he glanced to the guards. Attachments were dangerous but Kanan was not about to let anyone hurt Ezra if he could help it.

His padawan had made the escape and had yet to be captured and now he was about to get them out.

He analyzed his own memories of the fight with the pirates, trying to remember if Ezra had been hit, had landed wrong, had in any shape been hurt.

There had been a moment where Ezra had landed wrong footed but he had been in movement moments after, no limp or lingering hesitation in him. Perhaps the teen had just shaken it of?

He'd know soon enough.

()()()()()

Ezra focused on the panel in front of him, not the throbbing in his hand and wrist. He'd already found the rest of the crews weapon, Zeb's heavy bo-rifle strapped to his back, Kanan's lightsaber on his belt along with Sabine and Hera's blasters. Now he just had to slice through the codes on the panel to get the doors to open.

He was pretty certain Zeb could easily handle the two guards even without his bo-rifle until Ezra could come through the door with it. His lips quivered at the sight of his master so tightly bound, fighting against his amusement.

'He looks like a roast.' His lips quivered harder and Ezra recognized on some level he was amused and close to hysterics. 'No, its alright, they are fine, none of them are overly hurt. We can get out of here easily once I get to them, they can't ambush us again.' He rationalized. It was a good thing Hondo had decided to help him, else he was pretty sure the pirates would have caught him too.

Hondo of course was a victim to his own greed many times but this one instant...well it wasn't as if the pirates were going to pay Hondo and it would be amusing for him to see what happened to them once the Ghost crew escaped. And young Ezra was a friend!

So he helped.

Ezra took a deep breath through his nose and re-focused, grinning a sharp smile when Zeb did as predicted, moving out of the cell with a sharp speed only to be followed by Sabine moments later, both getting to their guards while Hera rushed to Kanan's side to get him out of his bindings. He actually laughed when Chopper zoomed out with his zapper out, warbling loudly enough that Ezra could hear him through the door before he got it opened and moved out to see Kanan and Hera come out of the cell the Jedi had been in.

"Thank the Force I got through the vents, those were narrow." He grinned at them, hurrying to hand over blasters and saber to his friends before kneeling down and patting Chopper on the head. "I saw you on the cam, you were great." He GRINNED.

Even as he spoke and moved though, he was favoring his left hand at the increasing throbbing of his right hand and wrist.

Chopper however seemed to preen under Ezra's praise before Kanan took charge, having them on the move as they needed to return to the Ghost as fast as they could. The later the pirates became aware they had escaped, the better their chances of getting away actually was.

Of course, this was the Ghost crew, they were magnets for trouble.

They got caught in the hanger bay, so close to the Ghost, pinned down behind a few crates as they exchanged fire with the pirates. "Kriffing...laserbrained...gah!" Ezra barely dodged a blaster bolt and panted as he looked at Kanan, clinging to his lightsaber with both hands to avoid showing his shaking right hand. "What now?" He groaned as Zeb had to retreat behind a crate a bit further from them.

Kanan cursed then looked sharply at Ezra. "Ezra I'm going to throw you."

"What?!"

"Throw you, with the Force, over their head and I need you to push them all down. Do you get me?"

"...Your plans get worse and worse!" Ezra snapped but he readied himself still even as Hera furiously whispered protests to Kanan about their plan.

"Alright..." The Jedi gathered the Force around him, drawing on it as he focused on Ezra. He could feel Ezra, his whole body tense and ready for the spring but a small throbbing making him focus on Ezra's right arm. He couldn't stop right now though and instead gathered Ezra tightly and threw him, up and forward, getting curses and swears from all ends.

Ezra ignored it though as Zeb and Sabine started to pepper the pirates with blaster fire so Ezra could land safely on the other side, hitting the ground hard on all four with a spike of pain screaming through him. But he didn't let it out, he had a crew to focus on as he adeptly gathered the Force inside of him and PUSHED the pirates over.

It was the distraction the crew needed.

Ezra swayed, both at the use of Force and from pain as Kanan rushed to him, his lightsaber deflecting a blast as one of the pirates furthest away from Ezra got on their feet to get back to the fight.

"Come on!" The Jedi practically growled, pulling his padawan up the ramp of the Ghost after the others. He pushed the teen to Zeb, trusting him to keep Ezra safe as he and Sabine kept the pirates of the ramp and away from the Ghost.

Ezra just flopped his head against Zeb's chest, listening to the heartbeat as he breathed heavily. "Easy kid." Zeb rumbled worriedly, itching to take his bo-rifle and join the fight but knowing that Kanan was trusting him with something the man found precious. He was going to honor that and keep Ezra from falling over. So instead he ran his nails and fingers carefully through the others hair, wrapping his arm around him and turning him away from the fight so Ezra would be in no danger of being hit if a blaster managed to find its way past their friends.

"Tired? Bit of running get to you?" He tried to tease instead.

"Yes." Ezra rasped out. Having to use so much of the Force to get all the pirates to falter...and the throbbing just getting worse in his arm...now that had pulled on all his muscles.

Zeb's grin faltered a bit and he grunted and pulled him closer, tucking Ezra against him. "Didn't think you'd admit that."

"Tired..." The teen rasped out. "Very tired...they were HEAVY." He waved his left hand in demonstration, wanting Zeb to know and the Lasat hummed in understanding. "Oh." He cupped the back of the Ezra's head with his hand, sliding his other arm around the waist and gave support quietly, feeling the other melt a bit and cling to it, his little show of power having stripped him to the bone after everything else that had happened.

The ramp of the Ghost closed and they were off.

Ezra spared a few moments of relief for that before he felt Kanan come over and carefully take him from Zeb. "Alright, give me your hand Ezra." There was something resigned in the tone and Ezra gave Kanan his left hand.

"The other one Ezra." Kanan's disapproving teal eyes bore into him and Ezra, exhausted slowly gave him the hand, letting Kanan tug the glove of while pulling the sleeve up. It was red and swollen even to sight.

"You took of the brace." He sighed.

"I couldn't...climb the vents with it on, it would be to noisy and I needed full flexibility to move." Ezra justified.

"It may become worse Ezra. We'll have to check it." He carefully moved Ezra's fingers, watching him hiss and grunt in pain. "Not to mention just how much Force you threw out in there."

"They were heavy..."

"I know, I'm not blaming you Ezra, I'm just worried. Especially with the condition of your hand right now." Kanan looked to Zeb. "Go get a painkiller would you? And the hypospray to prevent a fever along with a gel pack for the swelling."

"Where is the brace Ezra?" Sabine scowled at him, unhappy that he had taken it of despite his good reasoning.

"My backpack along with my leg guard. I took them both of for the same reason." Ezra gives her a sheepish smile before looking up at Kanan, swaying a bit on his feet. "I don't have to put them on now do I?" He was a bit doubtful he could right now with the swelling his hand was experiencing.

"No, it would do more harm then good but so help me Ezra...if you take that thing of next time, I will personally strap you to a medical bed and make sure it heals." Kanan snorted as Zeb returned with the needed medical supplies.

He made Ezra sit down on a crate and knelt down, carefully touching the swelling as he let Zeb give Ezra the hypospray and painkiller, focusing on getting the gel pack where it was needed. The teen gave a slight hiss then relaxed slowly as he felt Kanan reach out with his Force, doing nothing but soothing Ezra's frazzled self.

"You're going to be sleeping for a while once those painkillers kick in. You used a good bulk of Force in one go."

"I've used the Force that much before." Ezra sulked.

"True but not that much in one go. Smaller doses over hours with time to recover in between Ezra. This took a drain and you know it." Kanan hummed as Hera joined them, getting the story from Sabine.

"Well...for what its worth...I did enjoy seeing you hog tied like a roast." Ezra gave a wicked grin and Kanan snorted.

"Brat."

* * *

Author note: Yup, I'm alive. Sorry people I, well I had some troubles. And yes its related to my surgery but don't worry, I got painkillers and all, anyhow, enjoy


	40. Like Jedi like padawan

"So!" Ezra threw a few more credits onto the sabacc table, grinning as he looked around. "Anyone here hear about the Wookie, the Twi'lek and the human that wandered into a bar?" He said cheerfully, his grin almost splitting of his face when everyone shook their heads.

At the door Rex stopped, raising his eyebrow.

"Well." Ezra threw down some more credits as he started, luring the other into a sense of safety. "The Wookie comes first and finds himself a booth for his two friends, the human and the Twi'lek. They're all bounty hunters of course." He watched the pot grow then focused his eyes on his fellow game players, knowing the gig, knowing he had to grasp their attention and distract.

"His friends arrives after getting their bounty and they all order drinks, one after the other but not enough to get really drunk, just tipsy. Suddenly the human notices that their Twi'lek friend is gone and looks to the Wookie in surprise, telling him that their friend has run of. By now the Wookie has been strangely quiet for a while."

Rex glanced behind him as Kanan showed up, gesturing to where Ezra was gambling with a few of Sato's men and a big pot on the table. Ezra meanwhile was carefully doing his duty for...ah the Ghost ship. Plus he could keep a few of these for himself too and some of them had been betting objects.

"He says 'mate have you seen our friend? She hasn't had her last drink.' And he gestures to the table where her drink surely sits, all full. Suddenly the Wookie roars and shakes himself. His human friend sits there in confusion for a few moments." Ezra added a few more credits to the table, finding the whole table interested in the end of his story by now.

Behind Kanan, Hera popped up, frowning before her eyes went wide, already having heard the joke and the end of it and her mouth opened in a shocked O.

"Suddenly the Twi'lek pops up on her side of the table, her limps plump and moist and a wide grin on her face. 'Oh don't you worry, I got my drink!' And then sits back with her shot." He didn't laugh, he found the joke distasteful really but it helped to distract horny men, which was why he had told it. There was a burst of laugh and Ezra did his last move before smiling at everyone. "Cards?" He asked happily, grinning as he showed them his hand and raked in the pot. "Why thank you gentlemen, I believe these are now mine and the Ghost crews...also you owe me a pair of new tools according to this Durns." He waved a note at him. "So pay up tomorrow, and don't mope, they'll be in good work!"

"Bah, you win this round Bridger. Heh, you play well for your age." One of them patted Ezra on the shoulder and he tensed, chuckling in return despite his discomfort at being touched. "Perks of growing up on the street, you learn a mean sabacc face."

He blew it of so they wouldn't catch on to his little cheat, pulling over the gloves to take a good look at them. Pilot gloves, good quality. Hera might like them he beamed happily, feeling them out. If they fit that was. He half listened to them leaving for their jobs, some chuckling and some grumbling about loosing.

"Ezra!" He jumped a bit and looked up in surprise before beaming. "Hera, I was just playing Sabacc and look at all I won. This will be a good float for the Ghost and look!" He held up the gloves to her, eyes wide and happy. "These are for you if they fit." He gave her his best two wide blue eyes before blinking at the look on her face, glancing behind her to see Kanan come over too, Ezra's grin faltering.

"Um...what's up?" He asked warily as Rex stood there in the doorway, watching.

"I'm currently wondering if I need to kill Zeb for teaching you a joke that I told him was rather insensitive. Or if I need to have a long talk with you Ezra..." She sat down on one of the discarded boxes as Kanan quietly took the other, leaving Hera to talk while watching his young padawan.

"Oh, that..." Ezra grimaced and continued putting the credits away. "I...wait, Zeb knows it and told it around you?"

"Yup. Didn't know Hera was listening. Means you didn't hear it from him." Kanan rested his hands on his knees, watching closely.

"...I learned it on the streets. From the traders that came to Lothal, the same ones who..." Ezra fiddled with the gloves a bit. "They weren't exactly...interested in behaving properly around me as a kid after they had their...fun out of me, they were more interested in joking with their friends while I was getting dressed." Rex jerked a bit at the door, staring at Ezra as the lad continued talking. "I tell it if I need a advantage because...well." Ezra gestured to the table and the gloves in his hands and then finally looked at Hera. "It distracts anyone straight because Twi'leks are pretty much galaxy acknowledged as gorgeous." He gave a small smile then let his eyes fall back down. "I just..." He let out a breath.

Hera watched the mop of dark hair before looking at Kanan. Then she slowly reached out and took the gloves. "Thank you Ezra, for the lovely gloves...and the credits will do the Ghost some good but, keep some of them for yourself, buy yourself something you want." She stroked his cheek then got up, leaving Jedi and padawan together as she took Rex by the arm and lead him away.

"He..."

"Ezra's a survivor." Was all Hera said shortly.

"...Got the traders names? Because I got a few blasters I can shove up the tail end of any of them."

Hera smiled a bit at Rex words.

With Kanan, he was carefully mulling over what to tell his padawan, what to say. He had been waiting for Ezra to come to it on himself but perhaps he'd have to prod this conversation on his own, it had been so long since this all started he felt he had no other choice by now.

"I know its wrong. I know they were wrong." He looked up in surprise as Ezra stared into his own lap. "Not me. I just needed the money and I was desperate. I got sick a few times because of it." Kanan blinked then shifted his crate closer to the teen.

"Nothing...long lasting but I knew it was their fault." Ezra sighed a bit, his shoulders hitched high. "Sometimes though I...felt like..."

"Like?" Kanan carefully prompted.

"...Like I deserved it."

"Ezr-"

"I know I didn't." He looked away from his lap to a abandoned empty crate to the side. "But at the time...I just...and now this thing that happened with the Seventh sister..." His shoulders slumped again. Then he looked at Kanan. "You said if I needed a hug, I could just ask for it...I'm asking for a hug now." He whispered, trembling a bit, half expecting a rejection from the man.

Kanan didn't waste a second. He reached out and pulled his padawan of the crate and right into his lap, holding him tightly while burying a dark hand in the dark hair and tucking him under the Jedi's chin, feeling the brace on Ezra's right hand and arm against his strong chest.

Ezra settled into him, his heart beating a harsh dance on the inside of his chest. "Thanks..."

"Anytime...thank you for telling me." Kanan started rubbing a mindless pattern on the teens back.

"Knew you wanted to talk. Could feel it, I just wasn't...sure how to start."

"Heh, guess we're a bit to alike in that way. Like Jedi like padawan."

Ezra smiled thinly.

"...Like father like son." Kanan added softly, feeling Ezra cling tighter to him before he kissed the top of the teens head.

* * *

Author note: *shrugs* I made up that joke, not sure it even fits...implications are everywhere I see


	41. Bittersweet

"I don't want to move." Kanan looked to his side, watching the seven year old laying in the tall grass of Lothal with him with calm eyes. "That's fine, we can stay here." He returned his face to the clouds, smiling slightly at the calmness of the day.

"We have to move eventually. This is a dream. I know its a dream." Ezra shifted beside him. "Its... how you wish you meet me...how I wish I meet you." He nervously licked his lips then let it go, shifting closer to Kanan, smiling a bit at the arm wrapping around him.

"Yeah...it is." Kanan agreed, stroking the soft dark hair with his fingertips. "But its a good dream Ezra. We can't change the past but we can dream about what could have been." He offered carefully.

"...Well...could...could you...I mean..." Ezra was nervous again.

"What?"

"...Could you show me how it could have been...had the Jedi not...I mean..."

Kanan squeezed Ezra to him then sat up, pulling Ezra to stand up, holding his hands tightly. "I don't want to revisit the old but..." The Jedi focused, feeling things shift, the world shift, their dream shift to what he knew. He had let Ezra dictate these dreams, but Ezra had no memories of Jedi's or their way of life. So this was Kanan's time to fill in what Ezra did not know, COULD not know.

He opened his eyes when he heard Ezra gasp, stared at this boy in front of him, wearing soft tanned Initiates robes that suited him to perfectly. Ezra was looking around in awe though, because they were in the Jedi temple on Coruscant as Kanan remembered.

Faceless Jedi's and padawan's moved around them because Kanan couldn't bear to put faces on them but he could show Ezra the temple. He could show him how it should have been.

And then Ezra looked at him, electric blue eyes going wider still as he reached out towards Kanan's face with small hands, still seven in the dream, only just a Initiate still. "You look younger." Ezra gasped quietly and Kanan looked at himself, surprised at the face that stared back at him from a reflective surface.

He looked like a Jedi knight he realized, he looked like what he should have been had not everything burned, in proper robes with his hair tied back.

The images wobbled at his realization as his knees it the ground and then Ezra hugged him, calming Kanan's violate emotions. The temple came back in sharp focus as he carefully hugged Ezra in return. "...This is how it should have been Ezra, you my young padawan, I a knight and Master for you." He whispered before leaning back on his heels, spreading his arms. "A temple full of Jedi's and padawans and initiates. A serenity that is gone from the Galaxy. People to help guide us both. Knowledge to be taught and given instead of what just what I know." He said shakily.

Ezra cupped Kanan's face, small thumbs gently stroking away the tears Kanan had no idea he had let go of. "...I'm sorry Kanan." He whispered.

"Don't...this dream is bittersweet Ezra. But I want you to see it. What memory I have of this...I want you to see what should have been." Kanan gave a shaky smile and stood, taking the small hand, tugging Ezra along, Ezra becoming bigger until he was fourteen in the dream, Kanan's faithful padawan, a long braid cropping up on the side of his face, beads carefully plaited into it. He fit those padawan robes even better then the Initiate ones Kanan realized as he brought Ezra further into the temple.

It made him smile. This dream was bittersweet, but he could handle that. He wanted Ezra to know.

* * *

Author note: 200 reviews on and a few here and not to mention all the kudos. Have a milestone chapter!


	42. Nothing more important

"So..."

Hera looked up, quietly watching Ezra stand there. "We...got the ship." The teen smiled at her, blue eyes warm as he slowly made his way to the co-pilot seat. "Commander Sato is really happy about it, its going to do a lot of good in Rebel hands." He sat down and held out the cup of kaf for her, smiling every so slightly more.

Hera hummed and accepted the cup, holding it tightly in her hands.

"It will, we needed this." She agreed softly. "All modern and a little blow to the Empire's egos." She grinned a bit at him which got a snigger out of the teen before he looked at Hera again. "And...the whole thing with your dad is...well...better?" He tried carefully, trying to be diplomatic.

She glanced at him from the corner of her eyes, noting Ezra's nervous deposition. It was clear he didn't want to dig into her affairs but at the same time wanted to assure himself that Hera was doing alright, was feeling...better.

She set the ship on auto and turned to him, taking a slow sip of the caf. Ezra must have made it she noted because Kanan tended to make it a bit stronger. "In a way. Yes...he did say he was proud of me, so there's something. Proud of the captain I had become..." She looked to the lights outside then to him again. "At the same time..."

"At the same time he attacked us. At the same time he set your new family in jeopardy. At the same time the past still happened." Ezra finished for her, watching her to see if he had overstepped his bounds.

The pilot sighed and nodded. "...Were you hurt?" She looked at him, looking over Ezra sharply in realization she hadn't asked them that after the whole debacle. She knew her father hadn't wanted to outright hurt anyone but accidents could happen still.

"No. It was just the normal stunning." Ezra smiled a bit at her. "I...it, him betraying us, didn't hurt me that much because I didn't trust him to begin with, not really. Because...well..."

"Because he was a stranger and I was mad?" She smiled a little at Ezra's explanation.

"Yeah." Ezra nodded a bit. "I...I told you, nothing is more important to me." He shifted and sighed, crossing his arms around himself. "And you were mad, you were actually outright mad at him and cold. And then you explained yourself..." He mulled it over. "...And I kind of listened through the vents when you talked to him." He confessed.

"To my dad?" Hera blinked in surprise.

"I got good ears and you two were loud...beside, did you know you had a accent when you talk to him?" Blue eyes peered at her, grinning a bit. "It was kind of adorable."

Hera laughed at that, her lekku's twitching. "It came from being agitated and talking to him honestly." She sighed and settled back, taking another sip. "...I'm glad you came to check on me Ezra but I do have to say I don't quite appreciate you listening to my private conversations." The padawan shrugged unrepentantly. "Can't help it, I was worried. I'd do it again." He declared before peeking at her hands and smiling at the gloves she was wearing. "They're good? The one I won?"

"Oh yes, very. Comfortable, sturdy and warm." She laughed softly. "I did say thank you for them, right?"

"Yup." Ezra beamed in return, watching her set down her drink then hold out her hand to him. "Huh?"

"Give me your hand, your right one." She smiled. "Without the glove. I'd like to check on it, see that its well healed you know." Ezra blinked at her then shifted to the edge of his chair, holding out his hand to let her gently move his fingers once he pulled of the glove.

Carefully she moved the fingers, testing them, keeping a half eye on Ezra's face to see if he made any grimaces. But all he did was sit there and watch her hands on his, smiling slightly at the touch, his electric blue eyes soft with warm affection and awe at the affection presented back to him, the care. 'Oh sweetie...' She kept a hold of the hand and leaned in, hugging the teen to her. "You know what? I know I make a lot of decisions that are...hard to understand since I'm a Rebel captain...but family comes first too for me." She smiled softly, deep green eyes meeting deep blue.

"I know Hera. You got bigger...um...autonomy?" He frowned to see if that was the right word before smiling and nodding. "Autonomy to do as you want with being a captain. So we're...well not safer but you have more resources should it be necessary to...well..." He smiled sheepishly.

"Rescue a wayward padawan who really needs to keep with the crew and not pick up on his Masters habits of sacrificing himself?" Hera offered dryly before pulling Ezra in and kissing him softly on the forehead, holding the others hands carefully.

"But you're right. I do. And nothing is going to tear this crew, this family, apart." She pulled him out of the co-pilot seat and into the main one with her, wrapping the teen in a hug, feeling how he relaxed against her.

She smiled softly at that, glad that Ezra wasn't flinching away or hiding.

Their little Loth-cat had come far from the trembling and angry creature they had picked up from Lothal. So far from the teen who had hid and argued to cover his own fears and insecurities.

* * *

Author note:So...Gotta apologize, things here are...cluttered so updates have been...lacking. And they might continue like that for a while right now. The thing is, since this is the internet and none of you know me to well I can just as well come out and say it. Social service here has taken my brothers baby (I live in the same apartment) and... well we are all kind of off-kilter right now, especially with me so close to my surgery still. What this means for all of you is that updates will be slower as I'm trying to process and move through my work and continue writing. I apologize again for that and I hope you can all understand that I...am not feeling so good but I'm trying. Now enjoy the fic.


	43. Flatline

'You would smile, and that would be enough. Just let me stay here, by your side. That would be enough. Please Kanan...'

Kanan heard the words. He knew that voice. But everything was to muddled for him to respond. So he just breathed slowly, the slow sound of beeping filling his ears and that quiet, scared voice in his mind.

He didn't really want to reach out further. Something told him to stay right where he was, cocooned in white, numb despite hearing.

'Please...I don't need you to train me more if you don't want to, I'd quietly sit beside you if you just smile, if you just smiled that would be enough...Dad please.'

That voice though. Sad, scared, desperate, calling for him, wanting him to move. That voice was important to him.

Why was that voice important to him?

Blue eyes, full of awe, staring up at him. A young face full of distrust. Lips turned into a small smile as distrust turned to friendship. A warm hug from a soul so battered it had hardly recognized the love it had been offered. Soft dark hair tickling under his chin while grasping the boy as tight as he could, offering him all Kanan had in his heart and soul.

'Ezra...'

Teal eyes opened, finding water filled, red-rimmed blue eyes staring into his own. "Kanan!"

()()()()()()

"I...don't really remember much." Kanan confessed, feeling the pillow behind his back shift a bit at his move. "The escape pod blew up?"

Ahsoka nodded. "Sabotage most likely. You were very lucky you were picked up at all." She took a deep breath and reached out to touch his shoulder. "It was very close." She glanced at Ezra who was mutely sitting in the window sill of the medbay, slowly eating the meal Sabine had brought for him.

"You flat lined." She said quietly, nodding seriously at Kanan's startled face. "Ezra kept you alive each time. He refused to leave your side and we had to sedate him when we got to the medbay to get to work on you, he had a panic attack from overusing the Force." She leaned back. "He's doing better now but he's still exhausted I believe. He won't let me check though." She glanced over to Ezra and then back to him. "He loves you, perhaps more then he even realizes." She smiled gently before gently squeezing Kanan's shoulder and leaving the medbay.

Kanan stared at her back before looking at where his padawan was still struggling with the meal.

He looked tired too. Kanan knew that others could see it too but Ezra was good at hiding from most but not him, never Kanan. The Jedi could see how down right bone tired his padawan was, every move a slight struggle. Slowly he reached out and brushed against Ezra's mind, getting the lad's attention.

Just studying him a few more seconds, Kanan silently opened his arms, smiling a bit when Ezra instantly scuttled out of the window seat and to him, abandoning his meal, the teen quickly crawling into the bed and burying his face in Kanan's chest, arms winding around the dark skinned man's back and clinging.

Kanan cupped the other to him, stroking his fingers through dark strands of hair. "Once again you come to my rescue huh." He murmured quietly, feeling the light tremors running through the slender body in his arms. "I'm a terrible Master." He chuckled quietly.

Ezra hiccuped a bit and just burrowed closer. "No." He whispered.

Kanan kissed the top of Ezra's head gently, drawing him more onto the bed, reclining back slowly with the teen in the medical bed, slowly brushing against the others mind, carefully testing out the bond between them and prodding Ezra to lower his shields more.

Numbing exhaustion lingered in it, his padawan barely keeping himself awake and aware. Force only knew how close the other was to passing out. "Oh Ezra. My dear Ezra." He murmured. "What did I do to deserve a padawan as wonderful as you?" He didn't expect a answer but got it still.

"You loved me." Ezra whispered in return. "You gave me what I needed...a family. Please don't go." He shook against him.

"Never willingly. I told you Ezra, I'm not leaving willingly." Kanan murmured. "I'm still here thanks to you my padawan."

He shifted slowly, aware of the aches and pains echoing in him but making space for his padawan on the same bed, carefully encouraging Ezra to toe of his shoes and join him. And then that slender body was resting against him, soaking in the comfort he had been terrified he'd lose before he'd known it well enough. Their time was to short for him to lose it now.

In Ezra's mind the sound of the heart machine stopping screamed, the image of Kanan so still and broken from the explosion, blood on his hands as he sent more and more energy his Master's way, feeling exhaustion creeping through his body as he still kept doing it, one of Kanan's broken hands in his own as he listened to the screaming of the machine each time Kanan crashed.

'None of that.' Kanan whispered along their bond, tucking the blanket around the teen too. 'Its gone and past and we are here now Ezra. My padawan.' He soothed against the others mind.

'What if this is a dream...what if I couldn't save you...'

'Its not a dream Ezra. I breath and I live thanks to you. And now you are so exhausted that I need you to rest. I'll be right here Ezra, with you. We can rest together and I'll be here when you wake up.'

He started slowly rubbing a mindless pattern on Ezra's back, feeling tension drain and the teen slowly accepting the call of sleep, his grasp on the Force letting go as he settled against Kanan with his arms still around the older man, his cheek resting on Kanan's collarbone as the Jedi settled with his arms around the teen, smiling ever so slightly. "Force, thank you for giving me him. Thank you for sending him my way." He murmured quietly, squeezing Ezra lightly.

In his arms, Ezra slept without the sound of a crashing heart monitor screaming at him. In Kanan's arms he slept with the sound of laughter they had shared after finding Zeb again on the cold moon and saving him.

And with Ezra in his arms, Kanan once again dreamed the dreams of finding a young Ezra and taking him in, dreamed of how different the life of his padawan could have been. Of the family they could have been and the family they did become.

* * *

Author note: Hey, hey sorry for the long wait people. Things are...mucky on my end. I haven't actually done much lately except read. This chapter I have I actually had pre written before everyting happened and I've just been...well stuck in my own head I guess instead of updating. I am writing another chapter though at the moment but its not close to done. I'm trying though. If ya have some paitence for me, I may be able to handle it. On a unrelated note, anyone have a good Star wars Fic reccomendation for me about Obi-Wan and some protective clones? Been in the mood for those a while. Just protective clones taking care of their General who, we all know, is suckass at taking care of himself.


	44. Keep the air flowing

He'd known. He'd known before they had gone to Lothal temple. Perhaps he'd always known.

The darkness would always cling to Ezra in ways he could never banish fully, would always call to him in some manner. But that was normal, the darkness sometimes called out for Kanan too, to consume him in ways that would destroy him and the ones he cared about.

He wasn't giving in to it. And as long as he drew breath, he wasn't about to let Ezra give into it either. As he had told the guardians, he couldn't protect Ezra forever, no one could do that. But he could train his padawan, could guide him still. And give him the best tools to protect himself from the darkness. He would find a moment soon to talk to him.

Ahsoka somehow seemed better for their trip too as they returned, heading to Phoenix home.

She seemed calmer somehow, as if she had found a answer of some kind despite Yoda telling them to find Malachor.

They'd get to it but first they needed to get back, plan and find a base. He had offered her his room to meditate in when the Ghost had come to pick them up for the return trip, letting her relax as they entered hyperspace.

"Oh come on Sabine, let go!" Ezra laughed as he escaped the nudgie the Mando was giving him, fixing his hair before moving to the kitchen, the teen having a extra bounce in his step. "I'm hungry!"

"Alright, alright." She laughed, holding up her hands in surrender as Hera talked over the coms, welcoming them back with a gleeful lit to her voice, telling them they'd be back with Phoenix in three hours. "But there's some fresh stuff instead of mealbars if you're interested." She grinned as Ezra's eyes lit up at the revelation.

Kanan shook his head in fond amusement, smiling softly. Ezra, who had spent his life planet bound, was used to fresh food, not meal packs and dehydrated things. Offering him fresh fruits and vegetables instead of paste bread and dehydrated rations always got him in a better mood.

"Yeah? What kind?"

"Some kind of fruit and vegetables picked up from a planet the rebels stopped on. Every cell got sent a crate of it." Sabine laughed, getting a cup of caf before sitting down as Ezra went for the cooler to see if he wanted to eat some of it.

Kanan sat down, chuckling as Zeb gave a lazy wave from his chair. "So, had fun where you guys were?"

"It was...illuminating if nothing else." Kanan smiled, a sense of peace inside him. Seeing the Pau'an again had been...strange. But not bad. A knight? He had never thought he'd achieve that rank and he still wasn't sure he had but somehow, the words gave him peace.

"Hey Sabine, what's this?" Ezra was holding a blue fruit in hand, looking at the girl who glanced over. "Oh, its a jug-jug, it kind of tastes like a cross between meiliruns and hanko fruits. Its good, kind of sweet with a pleasant aftertaste." She assured him.

The dark haired boy hummed at that, eyeing it. "So how do you eat it?"

"As any other fruits, just eat it, peel and all. Nothing about it is toxic to humans. Well except the core but you know we aren't really suppose to eat cores. Though its a bit sweeter if you peel it I warn you, you might want to put some time into peeling it." She laughed, knowing Ezra had a bit of a sweet tooth, his hot chocolate telling them that.

That got a grin out of Ezra before he started peeling carefully so he could take a big bite, hungry as he was.

Kanan meanwhile accepted a cup of caf from Sabine, smiling warmly at the artist, letting the quiet hum of the ship fill the silence as they all settled for the travel. He was ready to relax.

Until Ezra coughed.

Until a sense of wrongness filled the padawan bond they shared.

Until Ezra lifted his hands to his throat and chest, his coughing getting harsher as he wheezed for air.

"Ezra!" Kanan was on his feet, hurrying to the teen, moving with Force guided speed as he caught the teen who was crumbling to his knees. He settled with him on the floor of the Ghost, listening to the wheezing harsh air.

For a second he was bewildered to what was happening. What could possibly have happened here on the Ghost and then the answer came to him like a bolt of lightening through clear sky.

'A allergic reaction. A sever one. Like Hera has to that stimuli we don't carry anymore.' His mind supplied, quickly glancing at the fruit before looking up at Sabine. "Allergic reaction. Medbay, now, we don't have allergy medicine but we have stimulants that can have his airways clear. Go." He said sharply.

His mind turned back to the wheezing teen in his arms, settling Ezra on his lap, pulling the teens back against his chest. "Ezra, Ezra listen to me. I need you to try and breath. Just like when we meditate. Breath WITH me." He said sternly.

He felt the teen struggle, felt how his skin was heating up by the second as the flushed teen tried to breath with him, Kanan forcing himself to breath slow and steady, to draw as much air into his own lungs as he could. He reached out with his Force as Ezra wheezed, tried to ease the path.

Zeb was standing at his chair, watching them before hurrying to get cool gel pack, kneeling in front of them to carefully put the cold gel pack against Ezra's forehead and cheeks, cursing quietly in his own language. "Kanan, he's swelling up, this is a bad reaction."

"I know. Ezra breath with me..." Kanan continued, forcing a calm in on his own mind to help Ezra who gave a half wheezed word. "No, concentrate on breathing Ezra, not talking."

'But it hurts! Kanan!'

Kanan almost jerked at the uncontrolled shout through their bond. Then he reached out quickly, soothing once again. 'I know but you have to breath. Its a allergic reaction, we don't have the right medicines for you until we can get to Phoenix home. Its important that you breath with me.'

Ezra gave a keening wheeze of pain and panic at not being able to breath. It reminded him to closely of drowning.

The commotion had pulled Ahsoka from her meditation and she knelt down by Ezra even as Sabine came running over with the requested items from the medical, giving Ezra the stimuli so Kanan could focus on helping Ezra breath.

"How is he?"

"Panicking." Kanan continued soothing Ezra, feeling his breath become easier after the stimuli were added. "Someone tell Hera." He added shortly, feeling more then seeing Zeb rush of to do so while Sabine took over the gel pack.

Ezra gave a keening cry of pain now that he had air for it, the hand on his chest sliding down to his stomach. 'Hurts!'

'I know Ezra. I know. But breath with me, the better you breath, the less danger you're in. Breath with me.' Kanan added again, catching Ezra's panic and holding it to him. It was proving exhausting, Ezra unable to handle all sensation at once.

Unable to breath properly, numbness of his face, pain in his chest and stomach at once, his skin itching and sweating at the same time, dizziness threatening to send black spots into his eyes, coughing and a terrible tightness in his lungs that he couldn't dispel no matter what he did along with toe mucus and saliva he could feel building up. And the urge to throw up ever present.

But Kanan was there, Kanan was telling him to breath. He focused on that, his mind narrowing in on Kanan and Kanan alone as he closed his eyes and tried to do as told, tried to breath.

'That's good Ezra. Keep breathing. I'm here, just breath with me.' Ezra keened out in pain even as Kanan moved him, the back of his head slowly shifted until the back of his head was resting against Kanan's shoulder with his head tilted a bit up by Kanan's large hand under his chin, feeling the others chest against his back and long legs on each side of him. The feel of Kanan using the Force to ease airways as best he could even with the stimuli in his systems.

He cracked his eyes open as he felt something cold against his to hot face, looking into Sabine's worried eyes as she held the gel pack to his face. She smiled at him when she noticed his eyes were open and watching her. "Just breath Ezra, no going into anaphylactic shock on us. Once we get you some endorphins you'll be good." She promised him while mentally taking note that they were going to get antihistamine medicine and adrenalin shots on this ship even if she had to steal them and stuff them in her room.

Ezra tried to answer her but his mouth wouldn't work with him for anything but to pump out harsh air and he whimpered instead, letting his eyes shut as she continued carefully moving the cold gel pack against his face, sweat rolling down his temples.

'Ezra, talk to me. I need you to talk to me. So I know you won't go into anaphylactic  
shock.' Kanan shifted his hand to a easier position on Ezra's chin to keep the others head tilted, trying to keep the airway as free as possible.

'It hurts...I don't know...know what to say. All I can think is...is that I'm drowning...Kanan help me!' Ezra gave a low sob. The sound almost made the Jedi jerk out of his skin and he looked at Ahsoka, a dying question on his lips as she shook her head.

"No, Force healing was never my forte." She said softly, her face set in a worried lines. "What you're doing right now, easing his breathing, is the only thing I know that would help now."

Kanan grunted and nodded, settling even more with Ezra against his chest, closing his eyes to focus on him, absently hearing Zeb come back with the news of when they'll be at Phoenix home. He almost wanted to curse, two hours left? Two hours would...he'd have to suck it up.

He wasn't about to let Ezra slip away from him.

So he focused. 'I'm helping you Ezra. We're two hours from Phoenix home right now. I'm not letting you go, so talk to me.'

'About what?' Ezra shuddered hard, feeling the gel pack get removed and a soft cloth being used to wipe his face. Any other time he would be embarrassed as he knew that his face was covered in sweat and mucus but he had no mind for that now.

'Tell me anything Ezra.'

Ezra struggled, his mind grasping what he was suppose to do but letting it slip just as quickly.

'Ezra, tell me ANYTHING.' Was repeated more strongly as he absently noted a trail of the Force against his chest again, making air flow a bit easier once more.

He shuddered a bit. 'When...when I was six...when I was six my mother forgot, forgot her caf on the counter. She liked...liked it strong.' He winced a bit at his airways closing in again, feeling Kanan brush out with the Force again to ease it once again. Lord he wasn't sure he could handle two hours of THIS.

'Yes, she forgot her caf?' Kanan almost winched as Ezra spasmed a bit, his shields flickering and falling back down when his mentor soothed at them, not wanting Ezra to lock him out at the moment as he needed to be able to talk him through this.

'I...I was thirsty and curious. It tasted so bad.' Kanan wanted to laugh at the imaginary Ezra was providing, six years old and drinking caf. No it wouldn't have tasted good if it was strong. 'Tasted like tar, nothing added. But I drank it all.'

'Surprised you didn't vomit.'

'Almost did. I think all the bread in me at the time helped.' Ezra groaned out loud as the gel pack was exchanged for another colder one and he gave a raspy breath of relief at how it felt against his to hot face. 'Mom thought dad took it. It took them a few hours to realize what had happened but when it did they swore me of caf forever.' He managed to give a wheezed laugh, feeling a Force tendril keep his airway clear. More mucus seemed to be coming from his face as he felt the cloth wipe at him and he absently wondered if that was how his airways were being kept clear, by Kanan pumping everything that was trying to clog them out of Ezra.

'Yes? What happened?' Kanan let light amusement enter the bond, taking care not to let his own panic and fright enter it alongside. Ezra didn't need more of that then he was already generating on his own.

'I was so hyper I didn't sleep for two days. And I half destroyed the house. And ended up breaking three toes.' Ezra wheezed a laugh only to start coughing and groaning in pain.

Kanan shushed him gently, smiling ever so slightly while holding the boy close to his chest, making sure air was flowing, making sure the other was still alive, feeling the heartbeat. He wasn't sure if this could actually kill Ezra. As long as he kept the air flowing things would be fine.

As long as he kept the air flowing.

* * *

Author note: *fiddles with straw* I have no idea what I'm doing. So enjoy? Only reactions I have is to dust and that only makes me snot up like fuck. I'm tired, sorry people. Things aren't so great on my end.


	45. A slow breath

"It was scary." Ezra looked up in surprise then shifted on the medic bed, watching Sabine step into the room and come over to him, free of her helmet so the light caught in her colorful hair.

"Sorry?" He blinked in puzzlement.

"You, choking like that, not breathing properly, swelling up like...it was scary alright. To watch and not be able to actually help you." She sat on the bedside, watching Ezra closely before nodding in approval. "You're not swollen now, a bit red but not swollen." She smiled.

"Oh...I'm sorry. I never been allergic to anything before." Ezra rubbed the back of his neck slowly.

"Hey, its alright, we couldn't have known, none of us. It should have been obvious though, I mean you're not used to space travels, there's a lot of things you wouldn't have encountered that's common place on other planets." Sabine settled her hands on her knees, watching him still.

Ezra shifted, staring back at her in confusion. "Um...I'm sorry?"

The artist rolled her eyes before pointedly holding her arms open, staring at him.

"...Wha..."

"Hug." She prompted, looking a bit unsure but still holding her arms open for him. Ezra hesitated before shifting until he could lean into her stretched out arms, blinking as they wrapped tightly around him.

Then he settled his head on her shoulder. "...I really did scare you didn't I?" He whispered.

"Uhu. I was so sure that something bad was going to happen. People have died from allergic reactions without treatment you know." Sabine offered quietly in return. "And we had nothing to actually treat you, just keep your airways open. I thought..." Her breath hitched a bit.

Ezra wrapped his arms around her in return, making a quiet noise. "I'm sorry Sabine." He repeated in lack of anything else to give her, quietly marveling at how she smelled of paint, explosives and something sweet which he thought might be her soaps. It was kind of nice.

"...You reek." She offered, arms still tight around Ezra, keeping him trapped against her.

"Yeah...Kanan's suppose to help me to the fresher, droids don't want me doing anything strenuous until they declare me fit. Apparently something about the way Kanan kept me breathing took a toll on my systems."

"So that's why you're still here, you can't get them to let you go can you." She teased. Ezra grinned a bit against her shoulder pad. "Yup. But if I can get to the fresher they'll consider letting me at least rest in the Ghost as long as we're not sent out on any missions." He said easily, feeling Sabine's hand slowly rub his back, tracing along his spine.

It felt nice, warm. Made his stomach tingle in a way he wasn't quite familiar with.

"Oi, is it a cuddle feast in here?" The two looked up at the door where Zeb was wandering over to them from the door, the Lasat looking quite relaxed if it wasn't for the way his ears kept twitching and his eyes were flickering over Ezra's form.

But he didn't say anything as he sat down on the other side of the bed. "Here, got you a mealbar, Hera said you were complaining about the bland broth. Don't worry, I checked them over for anything weird." He assured, holding out a packed bar.

Ezra took it, carefully opening it up while sitting up and away from Sabine, gingerly taking a bite. While he was no longer swollen, he still felt sore. But he so wanted something else then the broth that he'd been given and was therefor carefully chewing away, feeling it crunch in his mouth.

Slowly he relaxed and smiled at them while eating, getting small returning smile from both.

"...Scare us like that again and I will put you through the airlock. I swear. Or lock you in with Chopper on a bad day." Zeb grumbled, reaching out and ruffling the others dark hair with a careful hand.

"Hey, not like I meant to. Wasn't a walk in the park for me either." Ezra protested though leaned into the touch, swallowing quickly and wincing at how it made his still sore throat feel. 'Right, hard chunks, avoid those for now...ow.'

"Still gonna lock you in with Chop if you ever do that again." Zeb grumbled then gave up, just reaching out and grasping the smaller human, pulling him into a hug. "Karabast, you scared us all Ezra. More because we were helpless to actually help." It had brought out a few memories Zeb could do without, helpless to do anything but to watch his planet burn. And there Ezra had laid against Kanan's chest, them helpless to actually help him, just prelong until could get actual help as the kid wheezed and coughed.

"...Sorry." Ezra murmured quietly, hands fisting into the fabric of Zeb's shirt, mealbar forgotten on his lap. "I didn't mean to."

"Yeah why do you think I haven't already locked you in with Chopper? The murderbot would be more then happy to zap you." Zeb ran his claws through the dark hair.

"...You smell." Ezra grumbled but didn't move away.

"So do you, do you know how long it is since you were in the fresher?"

"...Ew, come on, I can escape from your body odor, I can't from mine." Ezra grumbled and tried not to sniff himself.

Zeb snorted then shifted, leaning against Ezra's headboard. Then he dragged Ezra between his legs and settled the teens back against his chest before he pulled out a datapad. "Got us a holovid to watch since you're stuck here for a few more hours. Wanna watch too Sabine?" He drawled, it would be easier to keep Ezra in the medical bay if he had something to do and some company.

Ezra blinked and then looked hopeful at Sabine, the Mandelorian giving into the puppy look as she shifted until she was beside Zeb. It was a narrow fit for sure but she managed to get comfortable as Zeb started up the holovid. "What did you get?"

"Not sure, just generally asked if someone had some holovids and a pad to watch it on." Zeb shrugged. "Got this and five or six holos from what I can tell." They settled in, quieting down.

Ezra's focus however was on the two around him. The sensation of Zeb's chest as he breathed, the protective free arm lightly draped across Ezra's chest while the other was holding the pad and the chin on top of his head. Sabine beside Zeb, leaning against his shoulder to watch with them, her hand lightly brushing against Ezra's side, almost caressing in the brief touches, assuring and there.

He melted back into the broad chest behind him, smiling a tiny bit. 'I guess...if I had a big brother...I'd want him to be like Zeb...just as annoying and protective as this...' He thought, hesitantly shifting his hands until one was covering Zeb's large one and the other was holding Sabine's. 'And a sister like Sabine to tease me...'

Sabine instantly tightened her grip on his hand while Zeb gave a low rumble of contentment as Ezra carefully scratched his blunt fingernails through the short fur on his hand.

()()()()()()()()

"Zeb and Sabine's necks are gonna kill them." Ezra heard the words, but didn't want to pull himself away from the warmth and contentment he was feeling.

"More then likely but Ezra at least looks comfortable. Lets grab the pad and put some pillows behind their necks. That might help." He grunted a bit as he felt the warmth behind him shift.

"Ezra?"

"Shh, let him sleep." A softer voice murmured as a blanket slipped up around him and further. "...We need a holo of this."

"Sleep Ezra." A careful hand ruffled through his hair. "He needs a shower."

"Shh, sleep."

Ezra snuggled more up and fell back into blissful darkness, breathing slowly.

* * *

Author note: Got a confession. When I get reviews, I keep them in my hotmail for 24 hours before I delete them. Its kind of a 'look at all this. Look at how many appriciates what you are doing. Come on, just write a few more lines, you got another chapter soon' thing. So if you don't think your reviews have any impact...well they do for me. Cause I keep them for 24 hours and look at them, reread them and smile. You guys make me smile.


	46. I'm right here

He shouldn't have, but he ran of the moment Kanan was safely escorted by Hera and Zeb to the medbay of their base. He lost Sabine and Rex halfway through the base and then he'd found a vent he could easily slip into, crawling faster then he could ever remember as he found a space JUST for himself, his whole body trembling.

'She's dead...she's dead and Kanan...oh First light Kanan...' Ezra gave a shaky breath, finally finding a bigger space that he curled up in, dragging his knees firmly to his chest and burying his face in them.

"Oh karabast, Oh Force...breath...breath Ezra..." He couldn't stop shaking, his breath coming in short bursts, his lungs constricting inside him. "Oh please just breath." He dug his nails into his knees, hiccuping harshly as everything came crashing down on him.

He'd been so angry. He didn't even know why. Maul...

The name left a bitter taste in his mouth.

'He sees what I could be.' He flinched at the words he himself had said to Kanan and gave a cry, covering his mouth as more and more tears trailed down his face, crossing over his hands, soaking into his gloves.

'See...Kanan will never see again...' The sob tore from his throat so painfully it could have been a physical wound. 'Its all my fault!'

Was this how a mind broke?

Was this how a soul shattered?

He knew how a body was destroyed. But he didn't know about the others.

Ezra had been so strong for so long. He had survived the loss of his parents, he had survived the streets and the Empire for so long despite everything that had tallied against him. He had grown and gotten friends, a new family, he had become even stronger thanks to Kanan and now...

"What have I done...?" He whimpered out through his hands.

And through his despair, the sith holocron called out for him.

()()()()()()

"No ones been able to find him. He lost both Miss Wren and Captain Rex somewhere in the complex and then as good as disappeared. That was eight hours ago." Sato confessed to them, standing with his arms behind his back as the Jedi sat on the medical bed, his eyes wrapped up in gauze.

"I'm sorry, if I knew how to find him..." Sato shrugged then winced a bit as Kanan would not be able to see his action. Hera frowned beside Kanan before jerking a bit as the Jedi stood. "Kanan..."

"Its alright. I can find him." He murmured. "I'll need someone with eyes though to help me." He held out his hand towards Hera. "Not to walk, just to tell me where I am and what's around." He assured her, relying on the Force to help him.

He wouldn't say this was easy, being unable to see but...Ezra was somewhere in the base, hiding, lost and alone. He'd shut down the connection between the two, shielding himself and Kanan wasn't having any of it.

He started walking, letting the Force guide him, letting Hera carefully guide him out of the way of any inanimate objects or droids in the way. Sinking himself into the guidance he stopped thinking about anything but Ezra, about finding him and making sure he was safe and secure.

He drew on training long thought forgotten, his Initiate days where he was blind to anything but the Force and told to defend himself. It was a bit different this time but no less acting, trust in the Force.

He came to stop in a hallway, tilting his head to listen before turning to Hera. "Vents?" He asked quietly, hearing her shift to look around, the sounds of people talking further down the hall, the smell of the planet...

"There's two here, one on the left and one on the righ-oh, this one came of...you think he went into the vents?"

"That's Ezra. He likes the vents and its the only place he knows he can be alone. How big are they? Could I fit through?" Kanan moved to her side and used the wall to guide him down into a kneel, reaching out to touch the vent, sizing it up with his hand.

He let the Force trail a bit in, he should fit.

"I don't know Kanan. You might get stuck and I'm not quite sure about getting you out if you do." Hera hesitated, her hand hovering over Kanan's shoulder.

"It would be for Ezra. He's in there. I know he is...and I know he's hurting." Kanan didn't need the bond to tell him that.

"...If you get stuck I'm sending Sabine in after you." She threatened. "With a prod."

Kanan chuckled at that and nodded, slowly starting to move into the vent, touching it carefully to make sure he could get through. He kept down on his belly, using his arms and legs to push and pull himself forward, hands gingerly testing to make sure he wouldn't fall into any open spaces or his clothes get stuck on outcroppings.

It got pretty tight after a few minutes then it eased up and Kanan let out a relieved breath. Soon he could hear a soft snuffling noise and he started moving a bit quicker, already guessing the source of the noise.

'Ezra...'

He slid into a roomier vent space with enough space for him to actually kneel upright and reached out, hand connecting to a soft hair and a cold cheek. "Oh no Ezra..." He brushed the still moist cheek with his fingertips before shifting closer and sitting down fully, drawing the teenager into his lap as slowly as he could so not to wake him.

"You're going to catch a cold like this...again." He wrapped his arms around the to cold body. 'He must have been here the entire time.' The Jedi thought as he reached up, carefully wiping away the tears that coated the others flushed cheeks, feeling dried tracks.

Then he carefully tucked Ezra tightly against him, willing him to heat up. 'At least I'm drugged up quite a bit to avoid the pain. And the bacta is doing good to the slash...' He thought absently, rubbing Ezra's back. "Damn it, you're stone cold." Kanan muttered and dragged him closer, tucking him firmly against his chest.

"Uh?" Ezra shifted at the move and woke slowly and Kanan almost held his breath, feeling Ezra stiffen as he realized who he was with. "...Hey Ezra." He murmured softly for his benefit.

"...Kanan..." Ezra choked out.

"Hey...you gave everyone a scare." The Jedi murmured, keeping his grip tight so Ezra couldn't make a mad dash, not that he was sure even the teen could do that in the vent.

"How..."

"Crawled through the vent. I had to go after my padawan after all, since you shut down the bond." Kanan tucked Ezra close. "No one seen you for eight hours."

"...Oh..." Ezra swallowed.

"Its alright Ezra..."

That bought a burst of rage and despair from the debt of Ezra's stomach. "How can it! Ahsoka is dead and you...I...oh First light." The tears he thought had dried up started pouring down Ezra's face again. "You...I..."

"We're still alive Ezra." He squeezed the teen to him. "I'm not dead, you're not dead and its not certain Ahsoka is dead. She's always been clever and strong. She may be hiding again." Kanan shook Ezra a bit.

"...But your eyes..." Ezra hiccuped.

"Won't ever see again." Kanan finished for him and rubbed his wards back at the flinch his blunt words had provoked. "But that doesn't mean I won't be able to do things Ezra. I just need to relearn to do things without eyes."

"But..."

"I found you, didn't I?" He challenged Ezra's dubious voice.

"I...I guess..." Ezra shifted on his lap, cold hands on his lap.

"Good, now, could you please lower the shields on your end? Ezra please. The silence is...disturbing." Kanan murmured quietly. It was disturbing because it wasn't a Force suppressor or being passed out that shut the bond down, but Ezra himself.

Ezra blocking him out.

Ezra denying him.

Ezra coping on his own and leaving a hollowness inside of Kanan's mind that usually burned so bright it could distract him even from the most important of tasks.

The teenager hesitated then slowly let down, letting Kanan in.

The jedi took a sharp breath at the feeling and tightened his grip on the other at the absolute despair clinging to Ezra's very bones in the bond. "Oh Ezra, its alright, I'm here." He rocked the other, his hands clenching into the fabric of Ezra's flightsuit. "I'm RIGHT here Ezra."

And through the bond, he heard the Sith Holocron call out for Ezra.

"I'm right here." He whispered.

* * *

Author note: And I think...with this one...Safe Here ends as I never intended to write for season 3. I think. As far as I know I wont be writing more though I might add one or two side chapters somewhere along. And for this long journey you've all taken with me, I think you all for having the paitence to read through so much and follow it. Happy Rebel season people!


End file.
